


9000 R.P.M.

by katnissdoesnotfollowback (lost_on_cloud_9)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Infidelity, Minor Character Death, Road Rage, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, and a shit ton of mysoginistic assholes, and did i mention that it's all consensual? okay good, and then they grow up, as in all involved parties are between the ages of 16 and 19 at the time of the dirty deeds, mechanic Peeta, more stories 2 save lives, mores2sl, mores2sl 2018, or i guess track tempers????, racecar driver Katniss, those always seem to be the first two tags i add for my stories hmmmm....., unprotected sex, use condoms people, with no more than a two year age gap between sexual partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-03 01:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 70,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_on_cloud_9/pseuds/katnissdoesnotfollowback
Summary: Stuck in a dead end town and a dead end job, Katniss takes a gamble with the one thing she got out of her divorce -- a beat up sports car turned racer. She was always the better driver anyways. With a little help from a mechanic with blue eyes and golden hands, she turns that gamble into a chance for a better life for her and her daughter. But racing is still a boys' club and the road is never easy for a single mom.





	1. PARADE LAPS

**Author's Note:**

> 9000 R.P.M. is the average redline on a NASCAR stock racer. 
> 
> In the interest of writing and editing speed, I’ve simplified NASCAR’s league format and given them new names. This is because they traditionally name their leagues based on a sponsor, which means the names for both have changed through the years. Ex: Winston Cup, Nextel Cup, and Sprint Cup all refer to the same league of racing depending on which year you’re talking about. Rather than trying to keep track of who was sponsoring what when (and then forcing that on you the reader to keep track of as well), I have named the lower league Tribute League, and the upper league Victor’s Cup. NASCAR season usually runs mid-February to mid-November.

The echo of the announcer beats through the trees, tinny and grating. Katniss slams the truck door and walks around to the back. 

“Got everything you need?”

“Yep,” she says and cranks the foot down on the trailer.

“Maybe you not oughta do this without Gale here.”

“I can drive just fine without Gale.”

“I know that, but it’s good to have a second set of eyes and hands. In case something goes wrong.”

“I’ll be fine, Dad.”

He stops her hands and turns her to face him. She can’t meet his eyes.

“You can’t take that kind of grief on the track. Better air it now, sweetheart.”

She shakes her head once and groans when Jackson Arnold walks by and points out the touching scene to his buddies.

“Ignore them. You’re a better driver than them every day of the week and twice on Sunday, ya hear?”

A soft smile curls up her lips and she nods, throws herself into her father’s arms. He sways as they embrace.

“So air it, girl.”

“Did you ever think you shouldn’t have married Mama?”

Beneath his rough denim jacket, Katniss can feel her father tense.

“Gale asked you to marry him, did he?”

“No!” she steps back and wipes her nose, shakes her head. “Well he’s been talkin’ about it. Yes. Okay yeah. He asked me to marry him.”

“And what did you say?”

“That I’m sixteen and not wantin’ to get married just yet.” 

“Good girl,” her father says and taps her chin up with one knuckle. She smiles to hide the guilt. The part she’s not telling her father. Words spill out in sharp edges to hide it.

“He said we could wait until I turned eighteen. And when I asked why he couldn’t wait until then to ask me, he said he didn’t think a couple of years would change things. Either I want him or I don’t. Then we started arguing about who got the car this week and why I won’t wear a ring for him.”

“I see. Does he know you’re here with it?”

“Yeah,” she kicks some dirt and leans against the car under the tarp. “I told him I wasn’t gonna wait for him to race. And then we broke up. He was kissing Leevy MacKenzie after P.E. yesterday and anyways I can’t wear a ring when I’m driving. It ain’t safe.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” her father says and she’s once more in his arms, inhaling the scent of cigarettes, motor oil, and his Old Spice soap. “I don’t want you to think I regret marrying your Mama. I don’t. There’ve been hard days and there’ve been good days. But I love her very much, and you girls are my world. But that don’t mean you have to go and try repeating it. We got lucky finding each other so early in life. You take the time to make sure it’s right. If it is, it’ll keep. Okay?”

“Okay,” she nods and glances nervously over at the track.

“You’ve still got time, sweetheart. Don’t feel like you’ve gotta rush into anything with Gale just because he’s your high school sweetheart, your first love, or because he’s two years older than you. You could do so much and go so many places in this world. You shouldn’t cage yourself in. Explore. Live. Get the hell out of this town, at least a little. Have an adventure or two. You can always say ‘no.’ And if he don’t listen, he ain’t the one for you, understand? You deserve better than that.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” she says and steps back. Together, they get the trailer unhitched from the truck and the race car backed into the grass. 

“Aunt Laverne should be picking you up after her shift at the pharmacy, okay? Make ‘em eat dust!”

Katniss waves as he climbs into his truck and drives into the night, to his job at the mill. As soon as he’s out of sight, she runs her hand over the name Everdeen just below the driver side window, glowers at the name Hawthorne right next to it.

“Hey Everdeen! Heard that Hawthorne popped your cherry last week. Got some sugar left over for me?”

A hand lands on her shoulder. She whips around, her knee connecting with Jethro-Tull Pierce’s crotch. He grunts and falls onto the hood of the car. 

“Anyone else?” she snarls. His backup scatters and she shoves him off her car. “All outta sugar, butthead. See you on the track.”

He staggers away and she gathers her gear, climbs in and starts the engine. For one second, she ducks her head to hide her tears. It might not have been Gale who told. They did it at Ash Parker’s family cabin by the lake, after all, and there were other people staying the weekend. Any one of them could have found out and told. But even perceived betrayal stings. As she hides her tears behind the steering wheel and the engine warms up, anger takes the place of shame. 

Katniss drives to the line and takes her place, waiting for the start. Gale fucked her, asked her to marry him, then broke up with her, and now these stooges are insulting her. Her hands work the steering wheel as the announcements echo over the track. When the flag waves, her feet work the pedals, rough and fast.

During the tenth lap, she puts Jethro in the wall in turn three and drives off, vindicated as his car is left on its side. 

It’s not until the break that she realizes her error. Standing under an oak tree and swatting at mosquitoes, she curses Gale and shitty hoses. She burst one putting Jethro in the wall, and as good as it felt, if she doesn’t get it fixed by the next race, she’ll be out for the night.

“Shit!” she yanks her hand back from the blazing hot surface and shakes away the pain. “Motherfucking piece of crap! I’ll have you hauled to the junkyard so Rodney the Pitbull can piss on you!”

“That’s no way to talk to your ride. You gotta sweet talk her,” someone says behind her and she whips around to glare at him, ready to rip him a new one if he makes so much as one comment about her ass.

Except his eyes are focused on hers as she faces him and he smiles at her scowl, bringing out a dimple in his left cheek. He shoves his hands in his pockets as she examines his worn jeans and oil stained t-shirt, the cracked leather bag slung over his shoulder. Medium height, stocky build. He’s about the same age as her. She might be able to take him down in a fight. With some luck. His ashy blonde hair falls over his forehead in waves and his blue eyes are fixed on her and full of laughter.

“You done strippin’ me down?” he asks and she shakes her head to clear it.

“What do you know about cars?”

“Well I kinda fix ‘em for a living.”

“This ain’t your mama’s Buick.”

“No,” he says and steps closer, sets the bag down. It clanks as he does and she catches a quick look at a few tools poking out before he leans his hands on the open engine bay and examines the heap of useless metal. “So what’s the problem?”

“Hands off, asshole,” she mutters and he looks over at her.

“You got someone else comin’ that knows how to help you fix this?”

“Maybe I do.” 

“And maybe you don’t. Katniss, right? I caught the first race. You’re one hell of a driver. So what’d number 18 do to piss you off so much?”

“He asked for some sugar,” Katniss simpers in a sickening sweet voice.

“Ugh. No wonder you wrecked him.” She blinks and leans in close.

“I’m all out of sugar.”

“Good thing I’m not asking for any,” he says and reaches up, tugs the bandana off her head.

“Hey!” she shouts but he ignores her, leaning into the car and tying the bandana around the faulty hose, staunching the leak.

“Hand me the duct tape from my bag,” he says. Reluctantly, she does so and he secures the bandana over the hose. “There. That should get you through the next race.”

“Gee thanks, anything else?”

“Well I’d like to change out that timing belt and overhaul your spark plugs. Sounded like the fourth one wasn’t firing quite right. Adjust your carburetor. Based on your radiator hose and a few noises she was making when you gun it, I’d hazard a guess that the fuel line’s not so hot either.”

Katniss stares at him and he smiles, blue eyes twinkling in the evening. “I can’t pay you for any of that.”

“Since it was your bandana and only a few scraps of duct tape, we’ll say that one’s on me. Call it a resume.”

“A resume?”

“Yeah. You got an hour before the next race, which I’m guessing you’re in based on the way you were cussin’ a second ago. Let me have at her for the hour. If you don’t place, you don’t pay me. If you do, pay me a quarter of your winnings.”

She stares at him and taps her toe, thinking about the offer. She’s not too keen on the idea of having some shade tree mechanic who fixes anyone’s ride on the weekend for a buck or two working on her car. 

“You can’t fix all that in an hour.”

“Nope, but I can fix most of it and what I can’t fix, I can tweak to buy you one more race.” Usually she and Gale split the winnings down the middle if there are any, so this is still a better deal.

“Fine,” she says and waves towards the car.

She stands there and watches him work. He mutters softly to himself or maybe to the car and turns to Katniss every now and then to ask about how she feels in turns or how long this back quarter panel’s been hanging loose. He asks her to hand him things from his bag and thanks her when she does, returns the tools silently to her care as he keeps at it. He kicks off some rust and buffs out a few dents. Secures and reinforces the rear quarter panel. Tapes the fuel line and actually does something about the spark plugs. Finds some loose wires that he secures and grumbles at the state of the oil in the pan. Half a dozen other small tasks that she can’t name because she can’t see around his body when it’s partially under her hood. 

When he’s done, he’s sweating and even more greasy than when he started, but she can hear the difference when she starts the engine and glances up at him. He grins and helps her guide the car to the start line. She’s distracted for a second by the way his hair almost glows in the lights.

“Hey!” she reaches out to stop him before he can hook the window net in place. She has to shout to be heard over the roar of engines. “I didn’t catch your name!”

“Peeta! Peeta Mellark!”

“Nice to meet you!”

“You too, Katniss!”

 

* * *

“Sixty. Eighty. Eighty-five. Ninety. Ninety-five. Six, seven, eight, nine. One hundred.” She places the last rumpled bill in Peeta’s hand and he smiles at her again, his dimple plain as day and adorable. A fluttering in her middle has her tugging on her jacket and looking down as she pockets the rest of her third place winnings. “And um. Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. It was fun watching you leave half the field in your dust after that almost wreck.”

“Yeah, well...I had a pretty good car.” She shuffles her feet nervously and glances back up at him.

“So, um...Katniss.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not from this town and uh...Know any good places to get some food at this hour?”

“Just a few,” she says.

They hook the trailer towing her car to his truck and he helps her into the cab, follows her directions to Sae’s.

“Hi Sae!” Katniss greets and points to a booth for Peeta to sit at. “Just gotta make a call.”

She tells Aunt Laverne she won’t be needing a ride, her mother that she’ll be home later, and then slides into the bench across from Peeta.

“So where are you from?” she asks as Sae stops by with the coffee and eyes her company.

“Panem, just up the road about forty miles.”

“What’re you doing here? You’re not some mechanic fairy who wanders from town to town fixing race cars at dirt tracks, are you? Am I gonna owe my first born child to you now or something?”

“No,” he laughs. “No supernatural here.”

“Well, I don’t expect you’d tell me if you were.”

She sips her coffee and refrains from telling him that his eyes suggest differently. They’re an otherworldly blue and she can’t stop staring at them or his long blonde lashes. Or at the dimple in his cheek when he smiles.

“I’m passing through on my way to Capitol. Gonna sell my truck when I get there and keep going. Just signed a two year contract fixing baja racers.”

“Baja? Off roaders?”

“Yep. Those are the ones.”

“Why’d you do that?”

“I wanted the challenge. With baja, I’ll have to work in places that are out of the way and improvise a lot. It’s not like I can hop into the local Pep Boys whenever I need a part. If we don’t have it with us, I'll have to repair it or work around it.”

“Like you did with mine,” she says and he nods.

“Yeah, exactly. Plus I get to travel around a bit, see more of the world than the hellhole where I was born. What about you? You travel around and race?”

“When I can. I share the car though. My dad and his friend built it. Gale’s his son and my--” she pauses and Peeta’s eyebrows lift, waiting for her to finish. “He’s my friend, most of the time.” She rolls her eyes and ignores the look Greasy Sae gives her as she delivers their food.

“So you and Gale share the car.”

“Yeah. Whoever’s not driving is pit crew for the night. We do pretty good together, but he had to work tonight, so I was on my own until you showed up.

“Lucky break for me,” he says and the fluttering picks up to a steady wingbeat.

“What about your family? They okay with you running off like this?” she asks to break the spell.

“My dad doesn’t give two shits about me. Mom wanted me to stay and finish school, but I’ve never been good at it. Why bother when I can make a living doing what I love instead?”

“Gah, my dad would never let me get away with that,” she says. “He wants me to get out of this town and live, but school first!” They talk family for a little bit and then cars again and before she knows it, they’ve both eaten and drank four cups of coffee and Sae is closing the place down.

When they reach his truck, Peeta opens the door for her and she spins around to look up at him in the moonlight. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”

His eyes search hers and she hopes he can’t hear her thoughts. They’re not decent. 

“Where’d you wanna go?” he asks.

“Can I show you something?”

“Anything,” he whispers and she climbs into the cab with a grin. It’s only a fifteen minute drive to the lake and he parks in a spot where the moon reflects off the glassy surface. Peeta sets up a blanket and they stretch out to watch the moon’s progress across the sky.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you, Katniss.” She hums and they fall silent for a time, watch the fireflies dance in the reeds and trees, listen to the bullfrogs sing their summer song.

“What made you stop and offer your services?” she whispers into the lull.

“I told you. You’re one helluva driver. Thought it’d be a shame if you had to drop out of the second race.”

“Anything else?” she asks and rolls over to face him, her heart thudding in her chest. Peeta reaches out and tucks back some of her hair, his finger trailing over the shell of her ear and then down her neck. His eyes remain focused on hers as he scoots closer, until their body heat meets in the air around them. Closer until his mouth hovers over hers and Katniss forgets how to breathe.

Until she lifts her head the last bit and her lips meet his and she sighs, content as his fingers weave through her hair to hold her head in place as their lips slide and push, taste and tempt. Warmth fills her, stretching further with each pulse beat. She curls into him and rolls onto her back, taking him with her so his weight grounds her to the blanket while his kisses send her soaring. 

Within minutes, she’s restless and rocks her hips up into his. Peeta gasps and pushes her hip back down. She whimpers into his mouth and then to the night as he lifts his head. Then she moans as his tongue and lips blaze a trail over her neck to her ear.

“Katniss? Can I touch you?”

“Yes!” she cries out and shivers when his warm palm skims over her skin, up beneath her shirt and bra. He palms her breasts and she spreads her legs to grind up into him, gasping when the hard ridge meets her soft folds. Twisting her fingers through his soft curls.

He kisses her and fondles one breast then the other, caresses over her ribs and waist, their hips gyrating together, growing wild until he grunts and shudders.

“Fuck,” Peeta groans and falls still. Katniss squirms, still wet and restless, her panties sticking to her soaked folds. Disappointment rises up in her as Peeta remains still.

Worse than with Gale, she thinks bitterly. He came after a handful of sharp thrusts, although at least those were inside her, leaving her dissatisfied and wondering why everyone made such a big deal out of it.

“Fuck,” Peeta repeats and resumes kissing her. He works her shorts loose and his hand slips beneath her panties. His fingers tug and catch on hair and she winces, but his lips are insistent on her neck and that feels pretty good. Then his fingers reach her folds and slide between. Spread and caress. Warmth burns through her, not unpleasant at all, and soon she finds that feeling she can sometimes reach when she touches herself at home or grinds up against a balled up shirt.

“Oh fuck, you’re wet. Is this okay?”

“Uh-huh,” she gasps and wriggles her hips when his fingertips find her clit and toy with the hood.

She climbs and descends, again and again as he explores her body and whispers about how hot she is and how amazing she feels on his fingers.

“I wanna taste you next,” he whispers. She makes a noise, unsure what he’s asking for and it burns a little when he pulls his fingers free and sucks on them. Peeta moans, loud and desperate in the night. “Please, Katniss? I wanna tongue you and make you come.”

“Okay,” she says tentatively and he tugs her shorts and panties down to her knees with a smile on his face. Then his face is at her crotch and his tongue licks through her wetness, making it grow. 

Katniss grips his hair and Peeta licks, pleases until she’s gasping and arched. Her toes curl inside her sneakers, feet resting on Peeta’s back. Her ankles strain against the confines of her shorts as her body strains for what she needs and the moon disappears.

A crack of thunder warns them a second before the sky opens and a deluge of rain douses them. Katniss squeals and they fumble apart. Peeta scoops her and the blanket off the ground, racing back to his truck with her cradled in his arms.

As soon as he shuts the door, they fall silent and still, staring at one another. Flushed cheeks and soaked hair. His shirt clings to his body and Katniss holds the blanket tight around her shoulders. He clears his throat and she’s once more disappointed. Her body aches for release but she twists to get her clothes back up her legs, hidden from him beneath the blanket. Rain pounds on the roof and streams down the window in sheets.

“Guess I should take you home now, huh?” he murmurs, sounding like he might regret it. She thinks of her squat house and the job waiting for her tomorrow. The pile of homework to be done before Monday and her chores. Her gaze falls to his crotch, to the bulge of his new erection beneath his jeans and the wet spot where he came in his pants earlier.

A reckless urge seizes her. Slowly, she stops redressing. Looks back up at his eyes and falls under their spell. They make her think of starlight. She shakes her head, choosing to live a little. Have an adventure, if only for tonight.

“Maybe not yet.” She pulls him to her and kisses him. He returns the kisses eagerly, his broad hand rubbing up and down her leg, sparking warmth back into her skin. “I want you to keep kissing me for awhile.”

The windows fog as they kiss and her hands roam under his shirt while his hands remove her wet shorts and then her panties. Then his kisses shift down to her legs to tease her. She’s pressed up against the door, her head resting on the window, hand braced on the dash as his mouth picks up where the rain stopped them. Her foot kicks out and hits the windshield. Rubber squeals on glass. She struggles to find some solid footing as he doesn’t stop. Her soft moans barely audible under the pounding of the rain. It’s not enough and she pushes on his head until he sits up and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Something wrong?”

“No,” she tells him and tears at his belt.

“You sure?” he asks. She kisses him and straddles him instead of answering. Slow bits at a time, she drops, squirms and whines at the way he stretches her.

“Sorry, hold on,” he whispers and shifts his hips to give them a little more room. “Better?”

“No,” she admits and he shifts the seat, reclines it as much as the cab allows.

“How about that?”

“Oh, yeah,” she breathes as she’s able to rotate and rock and slowly work him in. He unbuttons her shirt and snaps her bra clasp open, then his hot mouth is on her nipples, sucking and tracing them with the tip of his tongue. Sucking and biting more. She moans and thrusts her chest in his face, sinks until she can feel his thighs twitching beneath her.

“Fuck, I want you to come, Katniss.”

She rolls her hips over his and clings to his shoulders, chasing the feeling as it spreads and flows deep inside her then dances away. The rain pounds on the windows and thunder grumbles outside. A sharp moan escapes her mouth and she bites her lip to stifle any more sounds.

“Oh,” Peeta gasps. “God make that noise again. So fucking hot.”

His mouth covers her body with kisses and draws forth the sounds. One at a time until she’s thrusting madly and the truck echoes with the tune of their bodies and her own summertime song. It rises in a flash and her head whips back, shoulders connecting with the steering wheel.

The horn blares and they both jump. His arms shoot around her and hold her close to him. She huffs in frustration, once more denied right at the flash point.

“Are we about to be welcomed with a shotgun? Maybe we should drive somewhere else,” he suggests. They laugh and she kisses away his concerns.

“It’s raining and no one lives around here anyways,” she insists and tugs on his shirt. He helps her remove it and she runs her hands over his shoulders before planting her palms and rocking her hips.

“Feel good?” he asks and she can’t answer, can only nod as she’s quickly swept back into the eddies of pleasure. She leans back again, Peeta supporting her so she doesn’t hit the horn this time. He whispers and moans with her. The feeling of him inside her and his warm palms holding her ignite, and a new kind of light burns through her. Rippled, stuttered waves of it. 

“Are you coming?” She nods and his fingers dig into her skin. She likes the bite. It fans the flames inside her. “Fuck, yes,” he groans as she gasps once, twice. Then her tremulous moan fills the steamy night air.

She starts and finishes, then watches his face, almost pained as he lifts her hips and moves up into her. Eyes flare wide as he pulls out and hot spurts hit her skin as he cums all over her. He’s moaning and gasping, his face flushed as the rain hides them from the world and Katniss smiles. Laughs in relief before collapsing on top of him to catch her breath.

 

* * *

She scribbles the address and phone number onto a piece of paper. So he can call or drop a letter whenever he’s in a town somewhere. She bites her lip and ignores the tug of guilt as they stand beneath the eaves of the garage behind her house. The garage where her father and Mr. Hawthorne built the race car Peeta just parked in there for her.

Gale was kissing Leevy just yesterday, she reassures herself. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t enjoy this taste of adventure with a cute boy who seems to like her as much as she likes him.

When she hands the paper to Peeta, his dimpled smile chips at her guilt, and his kiss as he holds her in his arms to tell her farewell sandblasts it to smithereens. She sneaks into the silent house and crawls into bed, falling into a happy sleep that not even Prim’s snores from the neighboring bed can touch.

When she wakes, she stretches and smiles at the ache between her thighs, wonders if Peeta will have another few days in Seam before he has to be in Capitol. She can’t remember when exactly he said he was leaving town. Maybe she can convince him to change out the timing belt with her. 

But as she drags herself down the hall towards the bathroom to shower, the sound of crying reaches her ears and she continues on to the kitchen.

“It’ll be okay, Lilly,” Aunt Laverne soothes and glances up with tear stained eyes at Katniss.

“Mama?” Katniss asks, because she can’t bring herself to ask why her mother is clutching her father’s torn denim jacket.

 

* * *

They bury her father on a Friday. After the wake, Katniss heads to the track, sits with her legs through some of the broken fence along the backstretch, head leaning on the rails, eyes closed as she listens to the rumble of the engines and shouts of the crowds. It’s a sweltering night and she’s visited by memory and regret alike. 

“Thought I’d find you here,” Gale says and sits next to her. They watch in silence for an hour and finally she stands up to leave. “Catnip…”

 

* * *

“Honey, I think it’s time you faced facts,” Aunt Laverne says softly as she rubs Katniss’ back. “This ain’t the flu.”

“It’s the flu,” Katniss insists before bending back over to vomit into the toilet again.

“Are you almost done in there?”

“Go away, Prim,” Katniss groans and her sister huffs and stomps away. Aunt Laverne sits next to her on the cold bathroom floor and brushes back the hair that’s worked itself free of her braid. 

“Is it your mother, Gale, or yourself that you’re afraid of telling?”

 

* * *

The whispers in school are unbearable. She wears bigger shirts, even though she’s nowhere near showing. She’s afraid her belly might spontaneously pop out and damn her to everyone. But it’s a small town and doctor-patient confidentiality only goes so far. The receptionists were never good at maintaining that and Pamela Roberts is a merciless gossip.

Worst of all, Gale won’t let her race, insisting it’s too dangerous now. At first, he’d been angry with her but then he asked her to marry him again. She agreed this time. It’d be better that way. Her mother is more difficult to convince.

“Your father wouldn’t want--”

“Daddy isn’t here!” Katniss snaps.

 

* * *

She refuses help down the aisle and sways on her feet as she says her vows. The party afterwards is short and subdued. At least three people shake their heads and whisper  _ Just like her mother. _

She spends their one night of honeymoon bowing to the porcelain queen.

“This don’t seem normal. It ain’t morning.”

“Morning sickness isn’t just for the morning,” she explains and heaves again. He starts by holding her hair, but eventually his scowl annoys her and she sends him to bed. When she’s done emptying her stomach, she showers and returns to bed.

Gale’s already asleep.

 

* * *

The phone rings as Katniss tosses clothes into a plastic laundry basket, uncaring about neatness since she’s only moving a few blocks away.

“It’s for you, Katniss!” Prim yells and Katniss heads to the kitchen, grateful for the break and confused who would be calling her.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Katniss. It’s um...Peeta Mellark.” Her legs give out and she sinks into the chair they keep by the phone. The part of her that’s been wishing she dreamed him up, that their one night together was all an elaborate fantasy, dies with the sound of his voice. “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. Money’s been kinda short and phone’s hard to find.”

She can’t answer for a good ten seconds or so. “It’s probably better that you didn’t. Gale and I are...married now.”

“Oh. I...Are you...are you happy?”

“Completely.” Something bitter fills her mouth and she leans her head on the wall.

“Then, um, congratulations, Katniss. I wish you two all the joy in the world.”

 

* * *

“Mama, I brought you some breakfast,” Prim says and sets the bowl in front of Lilly. She doesn’t budge, head on her crossed arms, a cigarette burning slowly to the nub between her fingers, ashes littering the table.

“Don’t bother, Prim. She hadn’t moved for two days except to go buy more cigarettes.” Katniss keeps counting cash, dividing it between two envelopes.

“I’m not giving up on her just yet.”

“Aunt Laverne will be by later,” Katniss says, ignoring Prim’s naive hopes. She stands and hands one of the envelopes to Prim. “She’s gonna take you grocery shopping. Don’t give any of this to Mama.”

 

* * *

She stands naked in front of the mirror, eyeing the swell of her belly. She didn’t want this. Her father didn’t want this for her. She’s trapped herself in a life she never wanted and she’s the only one paying the price.

Word spread like fire through school. Whispers follow her. There isn’t a girl who will speak to her without standing torso twisted away from her, or hand on a cross around their neck. Like pregnancy is somehow catching. There isn’t a boy who hasn’t hit on her or grabbed her ass because they can’t get her knocked up when she’s already pregnant, because she obviously puts out, because no one believes that any of these “good boys” would go after a married girl and they know they can get away with it.

She puts on the paper gown and climbs onto the table to wait for the technician. Aunt Laverne holds her hand and Katniss closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to see. But she can hear the heartbeat.

“Oh and here’s a hand,” the technician coos and Katniss cries, listening to the warble of a pulse that, to her, sounds almost like windshield wipers swiping away rain as it covers glass.

 

* * *

They fight. A lot. About baby names, his brothers spying on them when she’s feeling better and they actually try to have sex again. What Katniss should or shouldn’t be doing while pregnant. Not racing, not even fixing the car. 

“There’s some nasty shit in these fluids, Catnip. It might hurt you or the baby.”

If there’s room for Prim to move into the Hawthorne house, because their mother still hasn’t budged and Aunt Laverne can only do so much and Katniss is worried about Prim being alone in that house with their vacant eyed, vacant souled mother.

“Where would she sleep? Everybody’s already double bunked in here. I’m not making my mother sleep on the couch. We’ll get your mom to snap out of it.”

“How?”

“Fuck if I know. I’m not a head doctor!”

About Hazelle trying to control Katniss’ diet…”for the baby.”

“I can’t stomach fish right now! Tell your mom to stop making it!”

“She’s just trying to help!”

The long hours Gale works and the shortened hours Katniss works when her blood pressure spikes and the doctor expresses concerns about preeclampsia in someone so young. It drops after Gale takes her to the track to watch the races one night. Further when Prim paints her toenails a flaked metallic black. 

“It’s called Raven At Midnight,” Prim says with a smile. Katniss takes to the color and has Prim touch it up every few weeks.

 

* * *

Her daughter is born close to midnight on the first day of spring and as the doctor places the squirming, wailing baby in her arms, Katniss is seized in panic. Her arms tighten and then the nurse coos to her.

“Aw look at her. A tiny firefly, lighting up the night.” Katniss looks up at the nurse and the soft look in the woman’s green eyes calms her. “You’re gonna be fine, sweetie. Talk to her. Or sing. Let her hear your voice. She’ll know it’s Mama.”

Katniss sings, her voice harsh and coarse at first, but gradually warming as the baby suckles. Her nipples prickle and then release. Her shoulders relax.

“There you go, see?”

Gale sits next to her and stares down at the tiny girl. Scrunched up red face and a mess of dark, dark, downy hair.

“What’s her name?” the nurse asks and Katniss says the first thing that comes to mind. 

“Raven.”

 

* * *

“Your turn,” Katniss groans as Raven’s cries reach them. 

“I’ve got school in the morning.”

“And I don’t?”

“You’re not graduating yet.”

Katniss drags herself from the bed and across the room to Raven’s crib. She’s just lifting her when Hazelle bustles in.

“Oh! You’re awake!”

“Yes, I’m awake,” Katniss says as she changes Raven and Hazelle watches her.

“I thought since she’d been crying so long--”

“Mom, we got this,” Gale mumbles from beneath the covers. Hazelle glances between them as Katniss settles in the rocking chair and Raven begins to nurse. Finally, she leaves them in peace. “Do you have to flash my mother?”

“I’m feeding my daughter,” Katniss says and Gale props himself up on one elbow to stare at her.

“I suppose. It’s just weird.”

“Maybe,” Katniss says as Gale falls back asleep. She lets her head fall back and stares at the ceiling.

 

* * *

“Lilly, honey, you gotta get up,” Laverne snaps.

“Come on, Prim,” Katniss taps the page in front of her sister, adjusts Raven in her sling, wrapped tight against her chest. “We gotta finish your math.”

“Does she have to yell at Mama?”

“Being nice to her ain’t worked yet,” Katniss says as an ear splitting scream tears through the house. They can hear Laverne muttering about getting a shower and dealing with the stench. Neglecting her girls.

“They’re wasting away, Lilly and so are you!”

 

* * *

“She’s eight weeks old. She should have smiled by now,” Hazelle insists, making faces at Raven as she lays in her crib. “Maybe you should take her to the doctor.

“I have. Doctor Neilson says she’s fine. Happy, healthy, growing. She’ll smile when she’s ready.”

 

* * *

Gale curses and moans in her ear and she shifts beneath him. Uncomfortable.

“Maybe we need more lube,” she suggests and he sighs, stops his thrusting.

“We already used half the bottle,” he complains.

“I had a baby, Gale. It changes things.”

“Fuck,” he mutters and reaches for the drawer.

“Shhh, you’ll wake up Raven.”

Raven fusses and they both freeze. She’s been gassy and not sleeping well. The bottle hits the floor and startles her awake. Katniss pushes Gale off of her and hurries to Raven’s crib, tugging her nightgown back in place as she goes and ignoring the squish of lube between her legs.

“I’m sleeping on the couch,” he says and storms from the room with his clothes in hand. “I have to work tomorrow.”

 

* * *

Katniss sets out the blanket and then the baby bouncer. Raven in the bouncer, Katniss on the blanket. Gale stretches out beside them and falls asleep. She coos and sings and Raven...bounces. Her chubby baby legs flail and Katniss smiles. A bright flash of color catches her eyes then and she gasps.

“Look, Raven. Butterfly!”

Raven watches, rapt as it flutters above them. Then her lips twitch and Katniss hides her sigh, waiting for the next dirty diaper. Instead, Raven’s face cracks wide open in a beautiful smile and she squeals.

“Gale!” Katniss elbows him awake, ignoring his annoyed grunts. “She’s smiling!”

“Yeah?” he asks and they coo together for a moment as Raven smiles and babbles happily at the butterfly. It flies away and she returns to her stoic bouncing. “Huh. Wonder where she got that dimple.”

“Who knows,” Katniss says with a shrug and scoops her daughter up to cuddle her. Kisses twice the spot that dimpled on Raven’s left cheek.

 

* * *

“I just want one night with my wife! We never get any time together anymore!”

“We would If your family wasn’t always breathing down our necks! I’d like one night out of this house without you pawing at me!”

“I don’t paw at you!”

“Ever since Raven was born, all you care about is sex!”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a cold hearted bitch--”

“Maybe if you weren’t a selfish asshole!”

“Excuse me for wanting a little affection and appreciation for how hard I work to keep--”

“To keep what? Your mother’s roof over our head?”

“We’re paying our share of the bills. I’m working close to seventy hours a week!”

“And I’m having everything I do judged every step of the way!”

“I’m trying to get us our own place!”

Raven’s screams interrupt and Gale huffs angrily as Katniss soothes the baby. “She’s just started sleeping through the night, Gale. It’ll get better now.”

“Will it?”

Katniss sings to Raven and doesn’t answer that. She doesn’t know anymore. She thought it’d be okay. They were best friends once, but as she stares at him half dressed and halfway out the door, she wonders what happened to tear them apart. Her arms hold Raven closer and she buries her nose in the child’s sweet baby scent.

“I don’t know,” Katniss whispers. “Maybe if we could stop arguing…” she trails off and doesn’t recite her list of complaints. It feels like that’s all they do anymore is fight and complain, never resolving anything.

“I looked it up. Dimples are a dominant trait. Means one of her parents has to have a dimple for her to get one.”

Katniss squeezes her eyes shut and denies what he’s saying. “That can’t be right.”

She jumps when the front door slams.

 

* * *

The flashing lights dance and wave in the night. A sickly ballet that draws her into the house.

“Miss--” one of the cops says and Katniss freezes, holds tight to Raven to protect her.

“Let her in. She’s one of Lilly’s daughters,” Aunt Laverne explains. The cop nods and lets her inside. She moves automatically to Prim and the girls cling to one another.

“Where’s Mama?”

“We don’t know. All her clothes are gone.”

They watch the cops move around their house, trampling through shock and grief they can’t even see. Then they leave, Aunt Laverne slowly closing the door behind them.

“I’m scared, Katniss.”

“It’ll be okay, Prim,” she delivers the reassurance with more conviction in her voice than she feels in her heart.

 

* * *

“I’m worried about you, Katniss. You need to take care of yourself. Find some way to help you relax. If you don’t, you won’t be able to take care of Raven,” Aunt Laverne says when she stops by one afternoon with Raven. Katniss looks away and glares at the pile of boxes in the corner. 

They’ve been cleaning out both houses. Aunt Laverne’s house, which used to belong to her parents. Katniss’ grandparents. Then to Aunt Laverne and her husband — Harry — who died of a heart attack in his thirties. Katniss has no memories of him, but sometimes Aunt Laverne talks about him. They’re cleaning out Aunt Laverne’s house to sell it. Cleaning out this house — the one with Katniss and Prim’s growth carefully marked on a wall in the kitchen -- to make more room now that Aunt Laverne has moved in. To take care of Prim. And because they can’t afford the mortgages on both. They might not even manage the mortgage on one.

Prim breezes through the kitchen, calling out that she’s going to see a movie with Jenny and she’ll be back by nine. It seems wrong to live life as though their mother didn’t even exist. Didn’t disappear without a word. But what else can they do?

“Have fun dear,” Aunt Laverne calls and Katniss stands abruptly.

“We should get back,” she says. But she signs up for a yoga class, despite Gale and Hazelle’s scoffing over it. She lingers after to ask the instructor about where to find discount mats and winds up talking with the woman for a few minutes. 

Fulvia Cardew is surprisingly easy to talk to, even with the difference in their ages. Her weekly yoga becomes something Katniss looks forward to and enjoys. A respite from the stifling house of husband and mother-in-law, and four siblings plus baby. From the constant feeling that she’s either failing or dying, one hour at a time and soon she’ll be buried next to her father.

Fulvia invites her for tea and Katniss takes Raven with her. Tuesday tea becomes another part of her routine. One of the few things she has to look forward to.

 

* * *

One sweltering night in spring, when the weather turns suddenly hot for one night before fading back to winter for a spell, Katniss packs Raven up and drops her off with Aunt Laverne and Prim then walks the three miles out to the track. The air makes a sweaty mess of her skin and hair, but no one will be faring well in this weather. Besides, she and Gale first hooked up on a night much like this one. He has no room to complain about her appearance.

Gale’s already out there racing. She finds her spot and sits down to watch, fingering her nearly sheer top and hoping maybe they can make peace. For Raven if nothing else.

He places third and she cheers, standing slowly and making her way to the pit areas. As she watches him celebrate, her stomach sinks and she fights back bile. Leevy MacKenzie throws her arms around him and he holds onto her for a second. Katniss tells herself it’s nothing. Just a hug. She leaves without a word to Gale. 

 

* * *

What she needs right now is tea. Tea and someone to talk to. Her choices in town are limited and she quickly crosses people off her mental list and settles on the obvious choice. With Raven changed and dressed, Katniss walks the few blocks to Fulvia’s house, even though it’s not Tuesday. The weather has taken a turn towards warmer this week, mild and soothing, the first early signs of spring, and the fragrant breeze makes the walk pleasant. Her daughter babbles for part of the walk and eventually falls asleep.

The front door is open to admit the breeze so Katniss scrapes her shoes on the welcome mat and lets herself in the screen door. It’s silent and Katniss furrows her brow. Someone’s oiled the door. With a shrug, she parks Raven’s stroller in the living room, where she can nap for a few more minutes. The house is quiet. Fulvia must be meditating and Katniss heads towards the kitchen to start some tea for them.

A loud thud from down the hallway draws her attention and she’s about to call out to her friend when more noises reach her.

“Uh-uh-uh! Harder! Harder! More!”

Blushing to the roots of her hair, Katniss decides a retreat would be the best course of action, to give her friend some privacy, when the voice that answers Fulvia’s wailing stops her cold.

“You like my cock up your cunt, don’t you?”

“Yes! Oh fu-uuuuuuuck!”

Her feet move her through the house towards the sounds, a pit of dread opening up in her stomach as their shouting begins to overlap.

“Spread those legs for me.”

“Gonna come!”

“That’s right. Fucking come.”

“Gonna come!”

“Who makes you squirt every time?”

“Oh fuck, you! You do, baby! You make me squirt!”

“I own your ass, baby.”

She stands in the open doorway, frozen in shock at the sight that greets her. Fulvia on the bed holding her legs spread obscenely wide, a completely naked man thrusting wildly between them. She’s sickeningly mesmerized at the way his ass and thighs clench with each hard, measured thrust. The way his thrusts make the tattoo on his shoulder blade ripple. Like there’s a harsh wind buffeting the flower. A katniss bloom. Right above her name.

“Ooooooh!….Gale!”

Katniss whirls around, slamming the bedroom door behind her and ignoring the shouting as she races back through the house, unable to scrub the sight from her brain. She gets Raven’s stroller and hurries back out the way she came. She’s almost to the corner and somehow thinks that tiny bit of distance will put this nightmare to an end.

“Catnip! Baby, wait!”

“Fuck off, Gale!” she says and keeps walking.

“You just gonna walk away from our problems?”

“Yes!” she shouts and whirls around to face him, one hand still holding onto Raven’s stroller. “Yes! I’m going to walk away from your lying, cheating ass and never look back!”

He steps back, stunned and her anger burns at the sight of him, barefoot and bare chested, dappled with sweat and his pants not even fastened. His hand clenched on the fly the only thing between Gale and public indecency.

Raven fusses as she wakes and Katniss coos, automatically plucking her up and cuddling her.

“Come on, Catnip. Throw me a bone here. You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder ever since Raven was born. And don’t give me that postpartum shit. She’s over a year old now!”

“I have not been giving you the cold shoulder!” she yells back, but they’ve had this argument a hundred times and it no longer matters. “I have been trying. And are you gonna tell me that was the first time you and Fulvia fucked?”

“It was!” he says and Katniss lifts an eyebrow to stare at him. Raven’s fussing returns and Katniss ignores it to recite what she heard, her voice thick with venom.

“Who makes you squirt every time? Oh fuck you do, baby. You make me squirt. I own your ass, baby.”

Gale’s face pales. “Catnip…”

“She was my friend, Gale. One of the only ones I had left in this town.”

“We can figure this out--”

“Don’t talk to me. Talk to my lawyer.”

 

* * *

She packs her things and moves out of his mother’s house. Back into her parents’ old house with Prim and Aunt Laverne. They turn her old room she once shared with Prim into a space for Katniss and Raven. A front room meant to be a dining room is emptied and turned into a bedroom for Prim.

“You can’t take Raven. She’s my kid too, Catnip. We gotta work this out. Can’t let it fester or run away like your mother did,” he says as she shoves the last of Raven’s things into the back of her dad’s old truck. Her truck now. She spins on her heel to spit up in his face.

“You think I don’t know about you and Leevy? The week after we first had sex?”

“It didn’t mean anything. You and I weren’t together then!”

“And last week with her? After the race? I suppose that meant nothing too?” He argues and she takes far too much delight in watching the fury in his eyes turn to pain when she tells him what they both already suspect. “Raven might not be yours.”

 

* * *

“That’s it, baby girl. You can do it. Come to Mommy.”

She croons as Raven sets one foot away from the sofa and blinks, blue eyes intent on Katniss. Her hips wobble and then she finds her balance. She lets go of the sofa, moves her foot again. Then the other. She lifts the first foot. Wobbles and falls forward into Katniss’ outstretched arms.

“Yes! Your first steps!” Katniss says tearfully, cuddling the baby to her chest and drinking in the happy smiles. Kissing Raven's dimple twice. Prim walks through the room and Katniss shares the news. “Raven took her first steps just now!”

“She did that yesterday while you were at work,” Prim says and waltzes through to the kitchen, oblivious to the destruction left in her wake.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad about missing it,” Aunt Laverne says when Katniss confronts her. “It’s just gonna happen that you miss things like that if you’re working full time.”

“But her first steps?” Katniss asks as she watches Raven tear through a bowl of oatmeal.

“Honey, you just gotta let those things go.”

 

* * *

“We feel that it’s a fair settlement,” her lawyer explains to Gale’s lawyer and she watches the tick in Gale’s jaw as his lawyer looks to him for an answer. Gale stares at the results of the paternity test along with the application to have Raven’s birth certificate changed to leave the name of the father blank. He tosses them on the table, nods once, and the lawyers set to work drawing up the papers. She tries to stall as she’s leaving, but Gale does the same thing and they nearly bump into each other at the doorway.

“Who was he?” Gale asks, and Katniss looks away to protect the picture she’s carried in her heart the past two years. So it won’t be tainted by the darkness that grew between her and Gale.

“Just a guy passing through,” she tells him.

Six weeks later, Katniss lingers in the garage, sitting on the hood of the beat up race car Gale dropped off two days ago, the only thing she got out of the divorce, and only because she agreed to Gale’s concessions. Not to sue for damages based on Gale’s affair with Fulvia. Or the one with Leevy.

Now this is what she’s left with. A beat up car and a brand new birth certificate for her daughter. No child support, no father. Even if she wanted to, she has no way of finding him. She pictures him in rocky terrain, tinkering with the open engine of an off roader, a rag tucked in his back pocket and grease smeared on his forearms. Katniss runs her finger over the empty space on the new birth certificate and whispers his name --  _ Peeta Mellark --  _ and hopes that wherever he is right now, he’s happy.

And that he never wanders back into her life because that would just complicate the hell out of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this was my mores2sl charity contribution back in August of 2018, I have good news for you! It's already written and edited. I plan on updating weekly on Wednesdays until all eight chapters are up. If you read the story as part of the charity collection, thank you for donating! Now you get a treat in a few weeks. Part of chapter six will be brand new material you haven't read yet, and chapters seven and eight are completely new to you!
> 
> My thanks to buttercupbadass and savvylark for their excellent beta reading skills. These incredible ladies are soundboards, plotting helpers, editors, cheerleaders, and dear friends of mine. Thanks, girls!
> 
> As always, comments are welcome and I hope you enjoy this one! <3 KDNFB


	2. GREEN FLAG

She grips the steering wheel and stares up at the headliner, the cigarette stains in the faded fabric as she puffs out air and waits for the announcement to start engines. She should just rip the damn thing out, save the small amount of weight. Her foot flexes on the pedal and she searches for her center, her source of focus. 

It fails her tonight.

She does poorly and rubs exhaustion from her eyes as she drives home, parks the truck and trailer in the driveway, and decides to deal with all this shit later.

In the morning she wakes up and Aunt Laverne is already feeding Raven. She gives Katniss a once over and shakes her head. Katniss scowls at the judgement, kisses her daughter, and fixes her own damn breakfast.

“It was your first race back since Raven was born,” Aunt Laverne says and Katniss stiffens, then relaxes as the words sink in. A soft kiss to her forehead and Katniss breaks into tears. “Oh baby girl, don’t cry.”

Her father’s sister holds her as she cries it all out. They rock and hold onto each other while Raven smashes her cereal to dust. Katniss slowly calms. Each tear leaves more room for resolve.

“I’m gonna take care of her. Raven’s gonna have a good life. We’re gonna get out of this shit hole where everyone knows Gale cheated on me but I’m the one they call a slut. We’re gonna live in a nice house and Prim’s going to college and you’re never scrubbing another toilet that isn’t ours or dealing drugs out the back door of a pharmacy again.”

“Alright, baby girl. That’s your goal, then we’ll make it happen. Just keep at it.”

 

* * *

Months of hard work and sweat, cursing the piece of shit she’s driving. Days working in the mill that killed her father. Nights taking care of her daughter and fretting over the hours she spends away on weekends. Midnights under the hood or the chassis, cranking wrenches in a constant battle against the extreme wear and tear inflicted on a race car. A fight through sweat and grease all while wishing she had an extra set of hands. She was always a better driver and a mediocre mechanic. She does what she can.

She can’t take it to Gale. She won’t take it to Gale or the garage his family runs.

The other mechanics in town won’t touch her car and they barely talk shop with her. They might give a tip or two, begrudging and nervous before they suggest she just give up. 

“That piece is done, darlin’.”

She curses them and what she assumes is a silent agreement with Gale not to help her. A boys’ club solidarity that turns her stomach and fuels her rage. She swears they’re hitting her on the track on purpose. More often and harder than before.

Slowly, she improves, returns to the skill level she was at before Peeta and Gale and pregnancy threw a wrench into her life. She places third. Again and again. Then second. There’s an anticipation of a first win, just out of reach, but she has no intention of giving up.

 

* * *

_ Bang bang bang! _

“Okay, not on that part, Raven sweetie. Hammer over here,” Katniss says and taps on the tire. They need changing anyways. She demonstrates and then Raven smiles.

“Okay, Mommy.” Then she pounds away with her plastic hammer.

_ Thunk thunk thunk clang! Clang thunk thunk. _

Katniss blows air out her lips and bites back a curse. At least Raven’s not big enough to bend the wheels yet. She shimmies back under the chassis and shines a light up to see better, scowling at the bent state of her roll cage and rear axle. Tears bite at her eyes. A few more solid hits and the car won’t drive straight anymore.

She needs a win so she can afford to haul this piece to Panem and pay a real mechanic who can weld and won’t know or care about Raven or Gale or—

_ CRASH! _

“Waaaahhhhh!”

Katniss scrambles and scrapes her arm as she struggles to get out from under the car. Raven stands surrounded by a pile of screwdrivers and bolts. A drawer from her grandfather’s tool chest upside down by her feet and tears streaming down her face.

“Oh my god! Does it hurt? Where’s it hurt, baby girl?” Raven keeps wailing as Katniss checks her over and can’t find anything wrong with her. No bruises forming or angry red scrapes. No lumps on her head beneath the curtain of dark hair.

She holds her daughter close to her chest and rocks them both. Tears slide down her cheeks as Raven’s cries slowly cease. Shoulders shake with grief and fear and frustration that she can’t show to anyone.

“Mommy, you’re bleeding,” Raven says.

“I’ll be fine, honey,” Katniss soothes, brushing back her daughter’s hair. Raven leans back and fixes her with an intent stare. Otherworldly blue eyes. Still unchanged from the day she was born.

“Did I make a mis-sake?” Raven asks and Katniss shakes her head.

“Maybe ask for help with the drawers in here okay?”

“Okay. You want me to kiss it?” Her heart swells and breaks as her daughter kisses just above the bleeding scrape. “All better.”

 

* * *

“And number twelve, Katniss Everdeen!”

She waves and then slips into the car and buckles up for the ride. It’s rough tonight, but she does well during the first race. After, she finds a quiet spot and pops the hood. Stares at the smoking wreckage of her radiator hose and crosses her arms.

“Fuck. You just remember Rodney got replaced by Rhonda the Pitbull and she just had puppies. I can sell you to the junkyard and the whole litter will piss on you.”

“Still bad mouthing your baby,” he says and her entire frame goes completely rigid. “She’ll never purr for you if you threaten her.”

She spins around to scowl at him and his smile wavers. The dimple vanishes. He’s taller and broader and even more alluring than she remembers in her dreams at night.

“I half expected you and Gale to be on the NASCAR circuit by now as a kickass husband-wife duo.”

“Life didn’t turn out that way. Yet,” she says and he nods. “How was baja?”

“Great.”

“So why’re you here?”

“Missed home after all.” She stares at him and he shrugs. “And my dad died, so I was expected at the funeral.”

“Well, sorry for your loss,” she says and turns back to the car.

“Don’t be.”

He doesn’t leave but moves to stand next to her and examine her. She covers her belly, the soft rolls that never went away after Raven was born. Her tank top does little to disguise them and neither does her shirt that’s tied around her waist to keep it out of the way while she works on the car. She’s exposed and feels naked with him staring at her.

“So should I scram before your husband welcomes me with a shotgun?” She snorts and looks over at him with a scowl. Mainly because she doesn’t really want him to go. Not yet. He once made her feel vibrant, alive, beautiful and powerful. Like she could conquer the world if she wanted. He made her feel all of that on a night when she’d been sure her world was falling apart. She could use some of that again.

“I could use a mechanic. But I might not be able to pay you.” At the very least, he’ll be able to give her one more race. Just one more and maybe, if she wins, she can finally get this car whipped into shape. 

He smiles and she shivers in answer.

“Same deal? And maybe watch my back so I don’t get shot.”

“Gale won’t be here,” she tells him and then waves towards the race car. “Alimony, you remember Peeta. Peeta this is Alimony.”

He whistles and sets his bag down. “No offense, but you got screwed.”

“In more than one way,” she mutters. He doesn’t comment but grins as he digs something out of his bag.

“I brought something with me. Just for you.”

“A brand new fuel line. Got a radiator hose in that bag of tricks, too?”

“Glad you asked,” he says and produces one.

“You sure know how to spoil a girl.”

 

* * *

“So can I ask what happened or is that forbidden?” Peeta asks as they secure the car to the trailer.

“He had a mistress. Or four,” she shrugs, still flying high on her win. 

A win! Finally she can taste the possibility. The future that awaits. 

“Why the hell would he do that?” Peeta asks and looks her up and down in a way that warms her through and makes her laugh. Makes her remember the way she felt in his arms one magical summer night so long ago.

But that was a dream and this is real life. Katniss won’t let anyone hurt Raven. She’s been surviving just fine on her own for three years since the divorce. They don’t need Peeta.

“So is that place still open? Sae’s, right?” he asks with a hopeful smile, and she can’t allow that.

“I have an early shift in the morning. Have a safe drive back to Panem.”

 

* * *

“Yo ho, yo ho! Pirates like to be mean,” Raven sings, her chubby toddler legs kicking the backseat and the base of her car seat.

“Where’d you learn that song?” Katniss asks with a glance in the rearview.

“Auntie Prim!” Raven announces and continues singing the jaunty ditty, oblivious to the scowl her mother gives her great aunt, who Raven knows as ‘Grandma’ because that was easier to say than “Great Aunt Laverne.”

“Eyes on the road, Katniss. It’s just a Disney sing-along video.”

“About pirates? I think I have some kind of say in what my daughter is watching.”

Laverne sighs and rubs her temple. “It’s not nearly as bad as some of the things that are said in the stands at the tracks.”

“Well she ain’t been to the tracks yet,” Katniss says as she makes the turn onto County Road 8.

“At least she’s singing more accurate lyrics for the song.”

“That’s not the point!” Katniss insists.

“Mommy? Are you mad at me?”

“No, baby girl.”

“You can’t expect to control or monitor every aspect of Raven’s life if you’re gone almost every weekend.”

Katniss growls under her breath and parks the truck in front of the garage. “Alright, look. There’s a diner over there. Take Raven to get something to eat while I talk to Grady.”

“I don’t like this bringing your car to another mechanic. Why can’t you just—“

“Because Mike might be your boyfriend, but he drinks beer with Gale every Saturday and won’t give me a fair deal. And unless you got money to help me pay for a welding course or five, I need a real mechanic! The closest place to find one that might still work with me is here in Panem.”

Laverne stares and purses her lips. Then she nods. “Alright, Raven. Let’s go get some lunch, baby cakes.”

Katniss watches them for a moment before climbing from the truck. She steps on the wire across the floor in the garage doorway, activating a classic double note gas station bell. Takes in the inauspicious garage, the sound of impact wrenches whirring and tools carelessly dropped on the concrete floor. Boisterous laughter.

“Hey! How can I help ya?” A middle aged man with creases at the corners of his eyes asks. She stuffs her hands in her back pockets and tries for a smile.

“I’m looking for Grady.”

“Ya found him.”

“I’m Katniss. We talked on the phone yesterday,” she says then waves towards her car on the trailer. He eyes it at a distance but doesn’t move. “The roll cage is bent but not unsalvageable. I think if maybe—“

“That’s at least a few weeks of work.”

Her eyes narrow and her hand hits her thigh. “You haven’t even looked at it yet.”

“Well we just had a fella drop off two cars needing some major work. Plus what we already had lined up. We’re backed up. Give me a few weeks and I can get to ya.”

“I need her for this weekend.”

“Maybe try Hank’s place then, over on Third Street.”

“Fine.”

“We just ordered,” Laverne says as Katniss picks up her daughter and tells them both to get back out to the truck. Katniss ignores the protests.

“Nah my welding guy is in Raleigh until next Friday,” is the answer at Hank’s Garage. “Try McGee on Spruce.”

“You want my honest opinion?” McGee asks as he lowers the lift holding Alimony and she holds her arms crossed over her chest to keep from punching him. “Sell it for scraps and build a new one from the ground up.”

“Not an option right now.” It’ll take her a year of working every available shift at the mill to make enough to even think about doing that.

“Then better try Cartwright’s place over on Apple.”

“Mommy, I’m hungry. Can we eat now?”

“There’s a bakery right next door to Cartwright’s that sells a good lunch too,” McGee informs her.

“Thanks for your time,” Katniss says and drags a protesting Laverne back to the truck.

“How many mechanics are you gonna let turn you away with flimsy excuses?”

“As many as it takes.”

They park in front of the garage and Katniss gnashes her teeth at the  _ Out to Lunch. Be Back At - 1:30  _ sign hanging on the door.

“You should eat something too,” Laverne suggests.

They tromp into the bakery -- which is also a deli -- place their order, and pick a table. Raven dances on her toes instead of sitting down.

“Mommy, I hafta go,” she says.

“I’ll take her,” Laverne offers and they’re gone before Katniss can argue. She rests her head in her palms and sighs. Her shoulders won’t relax and her pulse is pounding painfully.

“Hey! Peeta! How’s your first day back?”

“Eh, same old, same old.”

She freezes at the name and the voice. Peeks through fingers. Horrified at the predicament she’s put herself in, lured by the illusion of safety in the size of Panem. He’s wearing a dark blue shirt with the name  _ Cartwright’s _ embroidered on the back in yellow. Of course.

“The usual?”

“Not for me. Donald wants the turkey on rye. I’ll take the spicy club.”

“Feeling adventurous today, huh?”

She holds herself still and hopes he stays facing the counter, hands braced on the glass, back to her. But luck is not on her side today. The girl who took their order comes to the counter and slides a tray onto the glass top.

“Everdeen! Your order’s up!”

Peeta glances back at her as she stands and steps forward to take the tray. His lips part in surprise and she glares at him. He doesn’t get the hint to leave her alone.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” she says as she grabs the tray and turns back to the table.

“I uh… so what brings you to Panem?” he asks, abandoning his conversation with the bakery worker to follow her.

“Errands,” she says and takes note of the grime under his fingernails, the pieces of paper sticking out of his breast pocket with numbers printed on them. Tags for keys. “You work at that garage next door?”

“Yeah, it’s...well that’s where I worked before I went traipsing cross country. Figured I gotta start back somewhere.”

“That’s nice. Don’t let me keep you from your lunch,” she says and he smiles. A full dimple smile that only makes her palms sweat. She wipes them on her shorts.

“Oh goody! Cheese samich!” Raven says and scurries into the booth, takes a huge bite. “Mommy! You eat too!”

“Who’s this?” Peeta says, with a bright tone.

“Oh excuse!” Raven says and stands on the bench, extending one crumb covered hand to Peeta, her sandwich clutched in the other. “Raven Everdeen.”

Laverne slides into her own seat, eyes examining Peeta as he takes Raven’s hand and shakes it. Panic rises in Katniss’ throat.

“This is my daughter,” she says and Peeta’s eyes dart to her then back to Raven.

“Nice to meet you, Raven Everdeen. I’m Peeta Mellark.”

Raven smiles, satisfied with the meeting and plops back down with her food. 

“And I’m as close as you’re gonna get to  _ her  _ mother. Laverne Everdeen.” 

“My dad’s sister,” Katniss explains.

Laverne speaks up again, ignoring the scowl Katniss sends her. “Do you work at that garage next door? Cartwright’s?”

“I do, ma’am,” Peeta says.

“You got any problems working with a single mother race driver? You know how to weld and fix a roll cage? Axles?”

“Laverne,” Katniss tries but Laverne continues to ignore her warnings.

“No problems, ma’am. And yes, I can fix both.”

“Well you’d be the first in two towns who can manage that feat.”

“Don’t be rude,” Katniss says through clenched teeth.

“Manners be damned, and when did you ever care about them anyways? This is getting ridiculous. We’ve driven all over this town, towing that damn race car with us.”

“I’m sure Peeta is busy.”

“Not really,” he interjects. “What’s wrong with Alimony? She seemed fine the other night. Oh wait...that hit you took on the last lap. She was driving kinda screwy after that, wasn’t she?”

There’s a beat of stilted silence and Aunt Laverne turns a ferocious glare on Katniss.

“You know this young man?”

“I--”

“Why in tarnation didn’t we just come here first?”

“I didn’t know he worked here,” Katniss hisses and Laverne scoffs.

“Grandma, you sound angry. We should do breaving,” Raven says and sets her sandwich down. Laverne opens her mouth to argue but snaps it shut. Takes a few deep breaths as Raven hums.

“Can we talk outside?” Katniss grabs Peeta by the arm before he can answer and drags him towards the door.

“I’m sorry if I caused problems with your ...aunt. I didn’t--”

“It’s fine,” she cuts him off and releases him once they’re outside on the sidewalk. 

“You really gettin’ turned away because of your daughter?”

“Take your pick. I’m a woman, a single mother, I won’t sleep with any of them, they’re all buddies with my ex.”

“You know, the more I learn about your ex, the more I think he needs a kick to the nuts. Whatever issues you two had, he shouldn’t be taking it out on you like this. Hurting his daughter too.”

“That’s beside the point.” Her hand cuts through the air and she shakes her head.

“Then what is the point, Katniss? You don’t sound much like you want me working on your car this time, but it also sounds like you need me to.” He rocks on his heels and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Look I’m sorry if what happened five years ago caused you problems with Gale. I thought you two were just good friends at the time, but--”

“What we did five years ago was reckless and dumb,” she snaps. His gaze hardens and his jaw clenches.

“Yeah. Dumb teenage shit, right?”

“Exactly,” she says, relieved that they agree on that. “Look, I’m sure your boss is pals with Gale, too. I don’t wanna get you fired. So I’ll just leave and we never have to speak to each other again.”

“Wow. Katniss, you’re...confusing me. I mean we’re not even on a race track and I’m getting whiplash here.”

“Maybe you should stick to wrenches then.”

“You seemed just fine lettin’ me fix up your car the other night. I thought we worked pretty well together. I mean, now I get why you turned me down after. There’s about a hundred reasons for that. But your car needs work again, and it’s pretty clear you want me to get the hell away from you. I’m not sure what I did to deserve your… disdain.”

“Nothing.”

“Mr. Peeta! We have your lunch!” Raven races down the bakery stairs, carrying a paper sack and grinning happily. Laverne follows, eyes intent on the pair as Peeta kneels and smiles at Raven.

“Thank you, Raven. That’s very kind of you.”

“You’re welcome. Grandma says I am especial polite for my age.”

“How old are you?” Peeta asks, clearly biting back a laugh, and Katniss’ stomach sinks as Raven smiles wide. Dimpled and blue eyed, holding up four fingers.

“I turned four in March.”

Peeta blinks. Laverne asks if Katniss should start the truck up so they can get the car in the garage so he can get to work on it.

“Yeah, I’ll get the door,” he says. Three steps towards the building, he looks back, eyes fixed on Raven. He almost runs into the garage door.

As Katniss climbs into the cab, Laverne pins her to the seat with an impenetrable stare.

“What?”

“Don’t you ‘what’ me, young lady. You have some explaining to do after we’re done here and there are no little ears listening.”

 

* * *

Raven kicks her feet in the air, laying on her belly and coloring. Her tongue pokes out the corner of her mouth as she concentrates. Hides when she sings along to the video playing on the TV. Alimony is in Peeta’s hands until Friday. He’s promised to meet Katniss with it in Malbis this Friday for the races. Her stomach hasn’t unknotted itself since running into him at the bakery.

Katniss grips her glass of sweet tea and braces herself for the inquisition as Laverne settles into her chair in the kitchen, across the table from Katniss.

“He’s her father. Isn’t he?”

There’s no point in lying. It’s not a real question anyways. Laverne’s already figured it out.

“Yes,” Katniss breathes and Laverne nods.

“Does he know?” Katniss shakes her head. Laverne swears under her breath. “So what do you want to do, baby girl?”

Katniss closes her eyes. The lake and reflection of the moon as clear and beautiful as that night. Even the rainstorm that night held its own wild beauty. She can see it preserved in her memory. Perfect.

Real life's not that beautiful. It’s a fight, every inch of the way. She knows nothing about Peeta Mellark, not really. He could be more dangerous to them both than anything they’ve already faced or will face. She can’t lose Raven or put her at risk.

 

* * *

“I can’t afford this,” she says as Peeta guides Alimony off the trailer and into the grass. The announcements and cheers from the pre-race festivities mock her.  “A paint job? Full body work? I just needed the fucking roll cage and axles bent back into shape and reinforced.”

“Well once I got started, I had a hard time stopping,” he says as he reaches through the window and engages the brake. “I already know you can drive the wheels off a piece of shit. Wanted to see what you could do with something a little better.”

“What else did you do to her?” she nearly screeches.

“Fire her up and find out,” he says with a smile. 

Katniss shakes her head. Fights back tears. Succeeds in her will not to cry in front of him or anyone. Shame, anger, fear. A thousand other things.

“It’s too much. I can’t accept this. How the hell am I supposed to pay for this?”

“Go get a win,” he suggests and nudges her arm with his elbow. 

She moves towards the window, almost in a daze. Sits on the window ledge and swings one leg through, pauses when he rests one hand on the roof and one on her waist, supporting her and making himself impossible to ignore as he whispers.

“And answer one thing for me...Who’s Raven’s dad?”

The lie is ready on her tongue.

“Katniss…”

But just like it was pointless to lie to Aunt Laverne, she knows he’s already figured it out and is just looking for confirmation. 

“You are,” she says and climbs into the car, cranks it to drown out anything else he might ask. Rests her hands on the steering wheel and absorbs the harmony of the engine. Perfect.

 

* * *

She divides the winnings in half. It hurts to give him half, all the things she won’t be able to pay for now. But she refuses to owe him. The sooner she pays him back, the better. When she’s done, Katniss makes to leave but his words stop her cold.

“Were you going to tell me?”

“Send me the bill for the rest,” she tosses over her shoulder.

“Katniss--”

“You can walk away scott free, Peeta. Your name’s not on her birth certificate.”

“Maybe it should be,” he says and she spins back around to glower at him.

“You weren't here. We have been fine without you. For over four years.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“It’s not like I could have picked up the phone and called you!”

“You could have said something when I called you. Other than telling me you’d already gotten married.”

“What good would it have done? I didn’t know if she was yours or his then! Even if I had, would you have believed me? It was one night! Was that really enough to bring you running back?”

“Fucking hell. I don’t know now because you didn’t tell me!”

“Go ahead! Curse me out, call me a slut. It’s nothing I ain’t already heard.”

“Alright, fine! I can understand you not mentioning it then. But last week at the track...you knew then?”

“Yes! I’ve known since she was a year old!”

“And you still didn’t say anything.”

“What was I supposed to say? Oh hi Peeta! Haven’t seen or heard from you in over four years and for all I know, you might be a serial killer, but congratulations! You’re a father!”

“It would have gotten the point across! I’m here now, Katniss. I don’t know what you’ve been through the past five years and I don’t want to think about everything I’ve already missed because it’ll drive me insane. But if she’s really mine, I don’t want to miss out on any more.”

She can feel eyes on her and crosses her arms over her stomach, shrinks back into the shadows of the poplars. Waits for the group of people to pass by so they don’t witness the rest of this discussion.

“Look, just...thank you for fixing the car. I’ll pay you back when I can, but---”

“No,” he says. Her head jerks up at the finality in his tone. “No. You don’t want me, or my help with the car anymore, that’s fine. But you can’t keep me away from my daughter.”

“You have nothing to stand on. No proof.”

“Okay...a paternity test.”

“What?”

“That’s the cost of the repairs to Alimony.”

“You can’t do that!” She waits for him to budge, but he’s not going to. She can see it in his eyes. “You don’t believe me?”

Peeta scoffs and runs a hand through his hair. “Three hours ago, you were ready to lie to keep me out of her life. A week ago, you conveniently forgot to mention that I got you pregnant five years ago. Five years ago, you didn’t even mention that it was a possibility when I called you. So excuse me for not trusting your word just yet.”

“There’s only two people who could’ve been her father and the other one’s already had a paternity test come back negative.”

“Then I guess you don’t have anything to be nervous about, do you? Except...if I am her father, I want my name on her birth certificate.”

 

* * *

“Test isn’t back yet,” she says, leaving the screen door locked between them when she answers the door.

“Anyone else willing to help you fix up Alimony for this weekend?”

They stare at each other and she concedes. “Left side of the house, I’ll let you through the gate.”

 

* * *

“Now what’s he doing?” Katniss asks, dropping her bag and cursing her job at the mill. She already has a headache and she’s come home from an extra shift to a constant whir that grates on her nerves. She stands next to her aunt, scowls out the window at Peeta.

“Cutting the grass,” Laverne says and takes a sip of her tea while Katniss scoffs. The hot July sun bakes down from a pale sky today, and she can see sweat glistening on his arms.

“He’s been here every Sunday for three weeks, Katniss. Raven’s been asking about him. You can’t keep them apart forever if he wants to be an involved parent. As soon as that test comes back, he can take you to court if you don’t work with him, don’t figure something out together.”

Every Sunday morning since Katniss told him he’s Raven's father, Peeta arrives early to repair race damage done to Alimony. The week before this one, when he was done with the car, he repaired some roof shingles. The week before that, he cleaned out the gutters on the house. And now he’s mowing the grass.

“I still don’t know a thing about him,” Katniss mutters and Laverne hums in answer. Noncommittal. Probably judgemental. “It was one night when we were both sixteen. He was passing through, leaving on a two year contract with a baja team. It was the night Dad died and… I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.”

“I know,” Laverne says and Katniss stares at her. “Not which night it was. But I asked him, baby girl. When I took him somethin’ to eat earlier. You should think about taking him something to drink. Looks mighty hot out there.”

“I coulda done all this myself,” Katniss grouses.

“Course you coulda. You  _ have _ been doin’ it almost all by yourself. But…I think it’s nice to have a man helping out around here again. And he’s not exactly hard to look at either, is he?”

Laverne walks off and Katniss gnashes her teeth. “Not my fault you’re lonely and horny. I didn’t ask you to break things off with Mike,” she grumbles to no one.

They were fine. They were good. She could have made it on her own just fine. But the things Peeta can do to her car...it hasn’t run like that since her dad died and Gale made changes to it that fit his driving style. Since Peeta took over as her mechanic, she’s gotten two wins. He’s also given her more time to spend with Raven now that she doesn’t have to devote as much of the precious stuff to fixing the car.

She sighs and stomps into the kitchen, fills a glass with ice and then water before stomping past Aunt Laverne and Raven in the living room and out the front door. The screen door squeals and slams behind her.

She marches straight towards him, and when he spots her, he stops the mower.

“Here,” she shoves the drink at him and crosses her arms. She’s still gross from her shift and wants a cold shower and he’s keeping her from that.

“Thanks,” he says and chugs the cold liquid down, hands her the glass when he’s done.

“Anything else?” she sneers, unable to be grateful or gracious.

“I’m not that easy to get rid of, Katniss. Save that scowl for the boys on the track. Works better on them anyhow.” He restarts the mower and she steps aside with her mouth hanging open as he continues to mow their yard.

 

* * *

Peeta tears into the envelope and sits still as he scans the contents. His reaction gives nothing away and she does start to feel nervous. It’s impossible that it says anything different from what she expects, but his continued silence unnerves her.

“Happy now?” she asks when she can’t take anymore.

“No,” he says and looks up at her with a fierce determination in his eyes. “Her birth certificate. I want that changed.”

“That costs money and takes time.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

 

* * *

“I just need you to fill this out and I can get the paperwork started for you,” Leevy MacKenzie says, handing Peeta a blank information sheet. Because of course she’s the clerk they have to deal with. “How many copies would you want?”

“One.”

“Two.”

Katniss glares at his contradiction of her and Peeta shrugs. His hands move swift and sure as he writes.

“I told you I’m not that easy to get rid of. Will you stop playing gatekeeper and let me act like I’m her father now?”

 

* * *

“I’m not letting you take my daughter.”

“Why not?”

“I barely know you. Taking care of my car and a few chores around the house tells me nothing about what kind of parent you are. I’m not trusting you alone with my child. You can spend time with her here. Only if I’m here too.”

His lips twitch and she prepares for a fight that doesn’t arrive. “Fair enough,” he concedes.

Reluctantly, Katniss moves aside to let him in the house for the first time.

“For now,” he says and steps past her.

“Raven, honey... Peeta — your dad is here to see you.”

“Hi, Mr. Peeta!” Raven greets. There’s a quick flash of something like hurt in Peeta’s eyes. Katniss waits for him to lose his temper, but instead he sits next to Raven at the table and talks to her about her drawings.

Laverne bustles through the kitchen, fixing supper, and Katniss pores over books for her GED. She’s going to finish it, she’s decided. Because it’s good for her and for Raven, because that’s what her dad would want. It’s difficult to concentrate with the two chatter bug artists hard at work across the table.

 

* * *

“Here,” Laverne says, handing Raven five sets of flatware stacked on top of five napkins. “Can you set the table, sweetie?”

“Sure, Grandma!” she bounces over to the table and Katniss scowls at her aunt.

“We have company tonight?”

“Those potatoes are mashed enough, Katniss. Why don’t you let Prim and Peeta know that supper is ready.”

“I’m not inviting him to supper,” she says through clenched teeth so Raven doesn’t hear.

“I already did. You’re just letting him know it’s ready.”

She tells her sister first, then stalls for twenty seconds before heading out to the garage. His feet stick out from beneath the car and he’s got the engine block suspended on a hoist. Bits and pieces lined up on a rolling cart, clean and polished and ready to go back in. He’s started stripping down the engine and rebuilding it between every race. “Like the professionals do,” he’d said when she asked. As though acting like they’re a real racing team, treating her car like it’s a real racer, will make it so. She didn’t argue at first because it kept him busy and out of the house, but damnit if she can’t feel the difference it makes every week when she drives. The difference to be found when someone cares enough to pay attention to details. To act with them in mind.

“Aunt Laverne wants me to tell you that supper is ready,” Katniss says and a wrench hits the cement floor with a loud noise.

“Ah, thanks. I’ll be right there.” She spins and is at the door when his voice stops her. “Katniss, can I ask you something?”

She pauses and waits as he rolls the creeper out from under the car, wiping his wrench clean on a rag. There’s a streak of dirt on his cheek and his hair is flattened on one side, like he spent too long craning with his head turned one direction while he worked and sweat in the hot garage.

“How’d you pick Raven’s name?”

“First one I thought of when the nurse put her in my arms.” Katniss shrugs and shakes her head. The memory a haze of time and anger, regret and fear, but also fragile hope. She was expecting a question about the car. He asks hundreds of questions about the car, making sure she’s exactly how Katniss wants her for each race. 

Then something tickles her memory. 

“There was a few months when I was carrying her. My blood pressure spiked up to a level that made the doctors nervous. I had to cut back my hours at work. They wanted to put me on bed rest, but I was still trying to finish school and working. Gale and I were already fighting over every little thing. My mother couldn’t seem to get past her grief over losing Dad. Everything was just unraveling so fast. And um, Prim painted my nails this black metal fleck shade one day, to cheer me up. Raven at Midnight.” He smiles, and she falters for a second before she can keep going. “Anyways it made me feel like this badass who could kick her way through life, survive anything. I thought my baby might need a mother like that and...well I still had some of that polish on my toes the night she was born.”

“Right before midnight,” Peeta supplies softly and Katniss nods.

“Yeah.” The summer air is thick and hot as the day fades away and Peeta watches her. “So...supper.” 

 

* * *

“You have to be putting a ridiculous number of miles on your truck,” Katniss says, annoyed when the only response is a shrug of his shoulders before he goes back to flipping through the rack of wires. 

He’s there every Sunday like clockwork, spends the whole day with her and Raven, minus an hour or two he devotes to whatever pressing household repair Aunt Laverne asks him to take care of. Monday thru Thursday, he makes the drive after he gets off work in Panem. More hours working on Alimony that, at this point, Katniss could never hope to recoup. Some of those weeknights, she joins him and the work goes faster, more smoothly with two sets of hands and eyes and brains on the job. Even with Raven there to talk to them and sometimes distract them with her songs and dances she makes up on the spot.

Fridays are for races. He shows up just in time to toss his bag of tools and tricks into the bed of her truck and climb in next to her, shedding his work shirt as they drive to whatever hovel is hosting a race that night. He still only accepts a quarter of the winnings, nothing if she doesn’t place. And Katniss has a sneaking suspicion he puts that money right back into Alimony.

Saturdays are the only day she doesn’t see him. After Alimony is tucked into her garage post-race, he drives right back to Panem to work a full day.

“I know what you’re doing,” she whispers and glances behind her to check on Raven. Their daughter is flying a toy car around the store, garnering adoring glances from the patrons. Katniss waits for someone to recognize the girl or her mother and for the smile to turn to a sneer. Shopping for parts in Seam is risky business.

“What is it you think I’m doing?”

“Making yourself indispensable.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“It will be when you eventually walk out and tear Raven’s heart to shreds,” Katniss whispers and he finally looks up at her, blue eyes narrowed in anger.

“That’s not an option for me,” he says.

Before she can ask why not, he tosses what he needs in the basket he’s been carrying and moves to another aisle. She follows and almost runs into him when he stops next to the paint samples. Waits for an explanation as he flips through until he finds what he’s looking for. 

Black. Metal flecked black. Katniss stares as he holds the three middle fingers of his left hand up to the samples, comparing them.

“What is that?” She points to his painted fingernails and he glances down then meets her eyes.

“Mommy, can I have the toy car?” Raven tugs on her shirt and holds up a gorgeous diecast Corvette. A rub of temples and a quick calculation based on the price of the toy compared to the power bill and the school supplies she’ll need to buy for Raven’s pre-school. Prim needs some kind of fancy calculator for her math class, too.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. Not this time. Can you put it back?” Raven scowls for a second and then tugs on Peeta’s shirt.

“Daddy, can I have the toy car?”

When she’s on the track, waiting for the green, there’s always about a second when the world seems to freeze. Sounds vanish and the earth pauses in it’s rotation. Then the flag waves and life zooms forward at breakneck pace.

Katniss waits for the breakneck resumption of time as Peeta looks down at their daughter. It’s the first time Raven has referred to him as “Daddy,” and Katniss just knows he’s about to crumble and turn her into the monster.

“Your mother just said ‘no,’” he says gently. “Maybe if we find--”

Raven’s screech cuts him off and he quirks one eyebrow then goes right back to flipping through paint samples. Furious that she has to deal with the tantrum, Katniss rolls up her sleeves and prepares to carry Raven out of the store, but Peeta flicks his eyes at her and shakes his head.

People are staring but Peeta only scribbles down a paint number then flips to other colors, scribbles two more. He tucks his pencil behind his ear, impassive until Raven stops. Eyes watering and stunned that she had no effect. In the silence, Peeta meets her eyes.

“You done?” he asks her. Raven shifts nervously on her feet and thinks for a moment.

“Yes?”

“Do you feel better?” Peeta asks.

“Not really?”

“And you’re still not getting the car, so throwing that fit didn’t get you what you want,” Katniss interjects. “We have school shoes and a brand new backpack to buy tomorrow. Remember how excited you were this morning about a new backpack?”

“Bet we can find one with a Corvette on it,” Peeta offers.

“I’ll put it back,” Raven sighs dramatically and Peeta hides his laughter as she does. When she returns, he scoops her up and carries both child and basket of parts to the front. He places his order for the paint he wants.

 

* * *

Katniss helps Raven from her seat. Peeta parks in the spot next to them and joins them.

“How do I look?” Raven asks Peeta, holding out the skirt of her red plaid dress she picked out herself and twirling. Her black book bag with two Corvettes bouncing against her back. She’s asked everyone in the family so far, and Peeta doesn’t disappoint when he answers.

“Marvelous. I really like the leggings. That’s the crowning touch.” Raven giggles and looks down at her hot pink leggings. Shifts her feet in tiny black boots. Peeta tugs gently on one of her two braids. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

They’re almost to the door when Raven steps back and tucks herself into Peeta’s leg. Shoves her thumb in her mouth and eyes the boys racing up and down the front steps.

“Something wrong?” Peeta asks, placing a hand on Raven’s back to soothe her as Katniss kneels so they’re on eye level.

“Do I have to stay all day, Mommy?”

“Only part of the day. Grandma will be here as soon as school is done to pick you up, okay? Maybe she’ll take you for chicken nuggets or something fun.”

“You liked Ms. Phillips when you met her, yeah?” Peeta says and Raven nods.

“Well you’ll be with her the whole time while you’re here,” Katniss reassures her. “I’m sure if you’re feeling upset or scared, you can talk to her about it.”

Raven nods and lets go of Peeta’s leg, but she grips one of each of their hands and won’t let go. At three wide, they have to maneuver themselves oddly through the front door. Raven asks for two extra hugs when they reach her classroom. One from Mommy and one from Daddy. Katniss gives her one first, then looks away, pretends to be distracted by the bustle in the classroom when Raven winds her arms around Peeta’s neck and whispers that she loves him. Just like she did to Katniss a second ago.

“Love you too, sweetie,” he murmurs. 

They both pause in the classroom doorway and turn to check on Raven, but she’s already talking to another little girl. As they watch, Raven smiles and says something that makes the other girl laugh.

“Come on,” Peeta says, nudging her shoulder. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and Katniss crosses her arms over her middle as they walk back to the parking lot. “See you later.”

“Yeah.”

His truck door opens and she fumbles with her keys, eyes focused on her door. His door shuts again and his hands rest on her shoulders, gently turning her to face him. Then her nose is buried in his shirt, her shoulders shaking and his hands soothing up and down her back.

“You have to get to work,” she chokes out. He got up early to make the drive and be here for this, had to ask for a few hours off work with the understanding he’d skip his lunch or work late today.

“So do you,” he reminds her, but they stand there holding one another until most of the parents have already left. When she feels like she won’t burst into tears at the slightest thing, Katniss steps out of his embrace and wipes her cheeks clean.

“Drive safe,” she says and climbs into her truck.

 

* * *

“Shit,” Katniss mutters as she stops the truck, suddenly enough that they feel the impact of the trailer when it stops a split second later.

“What is it?” Peeta asks and follows her eyes to the beat up red truck towing an empty flatbed car hauler.

“Gale,” she says and turns the wheel to park elsewhere. She’s heard the rumors that he and his brothers were building a car. Brand new from the axles up. Eventually, she knew they’d cross paths like this, but the foreknowledge does not halt the squirming in her belly that feels like a pile of maggots. Of course it’s today, when she knows Peeta’s given Alimony a completely new paint scheme but wouldn’t let her see, because “It’s a surprise.”

“Does he know…” Katniss shakes her head at Peeta’s unfinished question.

“I never told him your name or anything about you, but...”

“It’s a small town.”

“Yep,” Katniss kneads the steering wheel in her hands. And people have seen the three of them together. Peeta’s daily visits to her house wouldn’t have gone unnoticed either.

“Got any idea how hard he can punch?” Peeta asks and she looks up at him, laughs at his question and sobers as Peeta digs through his tool bag.

“What are you doing?”

“Here,” he says and tosses her a small glass vial. She catches it and he smiles. “Put some of that on while I get Alimony off the trailer.”

“Wait,” she stops him when the truck door is open. “Just do me a favor...try not to smile around him?”

“Smile? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Maybe nothing,” she says and he shrugs.

“Okay. No smiling. Got it.”

The truck jostles as he works and she paints her nails. It’s messy and will probably chip within minutes, but the color has the same effect as it did years ago.

“Okay. Let’s do this,” she psychs herself up before climbing from the truck and staring in shock at her car.

“What do you think?” Peeta asks, sounding almost nervous.

Her eyes follow the lines he’s painted over the hood and the fenders. Down the body to the tail. They bring to mind the curve of wings. He’s painted Alimony almost all black with accents of green and hot pink -- her and Raven’s favorite colors. They talked about favorite colors a few weeks ago, when the three of them drove to Capitol for an art festival.

“Peeta,” she breathes and runs her hands over the intricate script of her name over the window, the final “n” trailing into a black wing.

“Do you like it?” he asks and she nods, making a weird choking-laughing-crying noise.

“Alimony, honey,” she says with a grin, walking around the car and trailing her finger lightly over the curves. “You’ve never looked better.”

“Let’s get her in place, then,” Peeta says and positions himself at the back end. Katniss sets her helmet and gloves on the seat then reaches through the window and works the wheel while he pushes.

Once the car is in place, they move together for final preparations. She can feel eyes following her and ignores them. Her skin prickles and sweat pools in her armpits, behind her knees. Her surety wavers and then the inevitable happens. She looks up and finds Gale watching her.

They’ve crossed paths over the years. It’s unavoidable in a town this size, but this will be the first time they face off on a race track. It seems wrong, almost unthinkable that this is what they’ve come to. But Gale is her past and Raven is her future. 

She brushes nonexistent dust off Alimony’s roof then smiles at Gale. Tilts her head playfully. It’s sass she doesn’t feel in her bones and knows she can’t maintain for long. He shakes his head at her and looks away. 

Gale’s not the only one watching her, either. She can almost feel the hostility in their gazes tonight. Worse than normal, fueled by Gale’s presence and Alimony’s complete transformation at Peeta’s hands.

“Okay, I think we’re ready,” Peeta says as he lowers and secures the hood. “I was gonna give you a radio so we could talk while you’re out there, but ran out of time. Now I wish I’d gotten that done.” His gaze flicks over to where Gale stands next to his car.

“Next week,” Katniss says as she retrieves her helmet and gloves, hands them to Peeta so she can shake her hair free of its ponytail.

“Is that him? Number 21? Tall, dark, and pissed off?”

“That’s him,” Katniss says and finger-combs any tangles from her hair so she can braid it back.

“Great. I’m looking forward to getting my ass handed to me tonight,” Peeta says sarcastically and Katniss laughs as she secures her braid.

“You’re strong, and smart. You could take him,” she says and accepts the helmet. She’s about to remind him that Gale has no way of knowing for sure exactly who Peeta is, that to Gale, Peeta could just be a boyfriend she met recently.

“Mommy! Daddy!”

They both turn as Raven weaves through the cars lined up and waiting, a huge smile on her face, Laverne in tow.

“Shit,” Katniss mutters again and then smiles wide as Raven flings herself at Peeta and he lifts her into his hold. Her feet hit his legs and leave smatters of red dirt on dark denim.

“What are you doing here, baby girl?” Katniss asks.

“She’s been wanting to see you race,” Laverne explains, eyes looking over the car. “Oh my. Peeta, the car looks amazing.”

“Thank you, Ms. Everdeen.”

“It’s our favorite colors, Mommy. See?” Raven points out. “Green for you, pink for me, and orange for Daddy.”

Under the bright lights of the track, Katniss catches the faint orange highlights she didn’t see earlier, hidden inside the pink. Subtle and barely noticeable but giving depth to the contours. Like he’s not even sure he’s allowed to include himself, but knows that he’s inseparable from Raven.

An announcement warns guests and family to clear the track. 

Her ears burn as she gives Raven her kisses, two soft pecks to her dimple. Peeta kisses her other cheek and then their daughter lurches back towards Laverne.

“Good luck,” Laverne says.

“Good luck, Mommy!”

They stand there, awkwardly getting Katniss ready.

“I’ll um, see if I’ve got an extra headset to protect her ears,” Peeta says. Katniss nods. She climbs in the car and Peeta reaches through to help her strap in. They move through their routine as though nothing out of the ordinary just happened. She’s putting on her gloves, taking a last glimpse at her black nails that match her car when Peeta tugs on the end of her braid. “Kick some ass.”

“Peeta,” she says, grabbing his arm as he retreats. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“The car...she really does look amazing. I just wanted you to know before they...they’re gonna be gunning for me tonight. They’re gonna...knock the shit out of her and all your hard work...” her words fade beneath more loud cheers from the stands. The sounds churn in the muggy night and she shakes her head, unable to convey the regret she feels for what she fears is about to happen. 

“Lucky for you, your mechanic spent four years working on cars that are built to take a beating and knows a few tricks.” He grabs the window net, pauses then smiles at her. “Knock back. Alimony can take it.”

The net is up before she can respond and the call comes to start engines. Fast spurts and barks fill the air. Alimony roars to life, her sounds lost in the crowd, but Katniss can still feel the vibrations. The purr beneath her. She adjusts the mirror and checks her belts. Takes a deep breath and waits for the flags. Her fingers tap on the wheel as the flag raises. The world freezes. The flag drops and deafening roars shake the earth.

Someone hits her right out of the gate. Then another. She’s jostled back and forth and glares at the bumper in front of her. He’s going too slow. Keeping her penned in and trapped. She gnashes her teeth, and waits for her opening. They’re tearing her car to the frame, one hit at a time. Not enough to get themselves warnings or tossed off the track. Just enough to send her a message.

It hasn’t rained in days and puffs of red clay obscure most of the track. It’ll be hard to see a thing. She waits for a thick cloud of the stuff to hide her and floors it. Rams into the car in front of her and pushes her way free. The dust clears and she backs off, veers right to go around. A bright flash warns her and she lets off, jerks back left and watches a car smash into the one she just pushed. Up into the wall.

Yellow flag and she breathes easier, although now she wishes she had that radio Peeta wants to add. He could tell her how the car looks, how she’s doing, remind her not to give up. Her daughter is in the stands tonight, and the thought purrs through her blood.

They don’t let up, but neither does she. 

By the time she sails beneath the checkers, her body aches from being bounced around the track. Her heart aches with frustration. She has no idea where she placed. It was all she could do to keep the car on the track and running. Moving forward.

Hands shaking, she unbuckles her belts and peels off her gloves, then her helmet. The net lowers and Peeta bends down to peer in at her, concern apparent in his eyes.

“You okay?” he asks and smooths some of her hair off her face. Cradles her cheek in his palm as he examines her eyes and searches for signs of pain or damage. She nods and shifts to climb out. He’s there with steady hands, keeping her from falling over. There are a few scattered cheers from the stands and Peeta glances behind her.

“That’s for you, by the way. Wave and let the crowd see that these assholes didn’t get to you.” She turns, his hands on her hips holding her upright. Waves to the crowd and blows a kiss towards where she can see Raven and Laverne working their way towards her. The cheers intensify for a second before Peeta spins her and props her against what’s left of the car. Then her mother -- no her aunt -- is there, asking questions and checking her wrists and ankles and ribs. Peeta holds Raven, off to the side and talks quietly to her.

 

* * *

Peeta drives them home. It’s well past midnight and Katniss can barely stay awake. It started raining before the second race could begin. While Katniss and Peeta stuck around to see if it would pass, Laverne brought Raven home hours ago. Eventually, they called the track undrivable and cancelled the second race.

Disappointed that she didn’t place, angry at the battered state of Alimony, Katniss’ only consolation was that Gale didn’t even finish. His was one of the cars taken out in the initial melee.

When they reach her house, Peeta carries her inside while the crickets and the frogs chirp, despite the chill in the air. Autumn is almost here, the end of another season.

“I can walk,” she complains.

“You’re still half asleep.”

“Am not,” she protests, but snuggles closer to his warmth and sighs when he places her in her bed. She should shower, but can’t bring herself to care enough to move, except one thing. “Check on Raven?”

He peels back the covers from the bed across the room, presses a soft kiss to Raven’s forehead before tucking her back in. “She’s sound asleep.”

Then he removes Katniss’ shoes, frowning at the tape holding the soles together. She tugs her feet away from him. He pulls the covers up over her and refrains from commenting on the state of her shoes.

“Good night, Katniss.”

“Peeta,” Katniss says reaching out and stopping him. “Wait…”

“Yeah?”

“How am I gonna drive a five hundred mile race one day if that took it out of me?”

A huff of air leaves Peeta’s mouth and he sits on the bed next to her, cups her hands in his and rubs some warmth back into them. Her skin still chilled from waiting in the rain.

“Because they won’t allow that shit on a regulated NASCAR track. There might be some degree of beating and banging, but not like tonight.”

“How bad was it?”

“It looked like a fucking demolition derby,” he growls and she snorts, imagines that just maybe his anger is actually concern for her, not for the car he worked so hard on.

“Alimony took it like a champ, though.” She slips under and barely hears his answer.

“So did you.”

 

* * *

It’s a struggle getting out of bed in the morning, but she manages. Stretches and decides she needs a heating pad before she heads to the mill for work. In the kitchen, she kisses Raven’s head and hugs her aunt, then scrunches her brow as she glances outside and doesn’t see Peeta’s truck in the driveway.

“Where’s Peeta?”

“I assume he went back to Panem for his shift…”

“We didn’t get back here until close to three in the morning,” Katniss says, gripped in fury as she dials the number for Cartwright’s and Donald Cartwright answers. “Is Peeta there?”

“Sort of,” Donald tells her then yells for Peeta that he has a phone call. She taps her foot as she waits for him.

“Hello?”

“You drove all the way back to Panem and went to work? On what, an hour of sleep?”

“Something like that. How are you feeling this morning?”

“A little pissed off and sore but that’s not why I called. That was dumb and reckless, Peeta. You should have just stayed the night here and called in sick.”

“I...didn’t think I was allowed to do that.”

“Well now you know. And don’t ever do that again. It’d kill Raven if something happened to you.”

 

* * *

“Daddy’s here, Raven!” Katniss leans back to yell, hands frantically finishing the last of the dishes and placing them on the rack to dry.

“Daddy!” Raven shouts as the screen door opens. Squeals as he lifts her in the air and pulls her close for a hug.

Katniss leans against the kitchen doorway and watches as Raven tells him all about her day in music class and how Ms. Hubbard had Raven demonstrate the songs for their fall pageant.

“It’s next Thursday around lunch time, if you can make it,” Katniss tells him.

“I’ll have to talk to Donald, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh! And Mommy said--”

“Shhhh!” Katniss cuts Raven off and the little girl slaps both hands over her mouth.

“Oopsie. I almost ruined the surprise.”

“It’s fine, baby girl. Why don’t you show him?” Raven wriggles down out of his hold and grabs his hand, drags him into the kitchen and spreads her hands to reveal the car seat with a huge pink bow on it.

“Ta-da! Mommy said if I asked nicely, maybe you’d take me for ice cream today.”

“Sure,” Peeta says, although he doesn’t seem as happy as Katniss expected.

“Raven, go get your shoes on,” Katniss says and smiles as Raven scurries off, then turns to Peeta, who’s staring at the car seat. “It’s for your truck. If you’re going to take Raven sometimes, or you know if you have to pick her up at school one day…”

He nods, and she’s not sure what to say or do. She thought he’d be happy. Doubt creeps in to spoil anticipation.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” she asks, confused.

“Don’t you want to drive us to go get ice cream?”

“Oh...oh, no. I thought it’s probably about time you and Raven had some time together. Just the two of you.”

“Really?” he asks, and his eyes and voice light with exactly the spark of joy she was expecting.

“Yeah,” she says. For one second, she finds herself wrapped in his arms. A swift  _ Thank you, Katniss, _ and then he’s off, dragging the carseat out to his truck and securing it. Raven races out to him, he says a few words and she runs back to the house, pokes her head in and shouts.

“Bye Mommy! Bye Grandma! We’ll be back later! Love you! Muah!” A blown kiss and she’s gone again.

Katniss stands in the front window and watches them drive off, fighting an irrational wave of something like sadness.

“Oh baby girl,” Aunt Laverne coos and hugs her from behind.

 

* * *

They meet in her driveway after they both get off work one Thursday. His truck parked behind hers. Raven calling greetings to them both from the living room floor where she’s tinkering with a toy set of tools and her firetruck. Laverne calling that supper’s running a little behind, but should be ready in about thirty minutes.

“That gives me enough time to get that radio finished,” Peeta says, kissing Raven once before heading out to the garage.

“How was your day?” Laverne asks and Katniss shrugs, rubs the back of her neck to ease the ache of long hours on her feet.

“Fine,” Katniss says.

“Good. I was thinking you should ask Peeta to stay here tonight. Save him some driving since he’s not working tomorrow morning before ya’ll leave.”

Katniss pauses and stares at Aunt Laverne. “Should’ve offered yesterday so he could come prepared for that.”

“Well yesterday you were in a foul mood.”

“I was not.”

“Were too,” Prim teases as she wanders in and hugs their aunt. “Smells delicious, Mama L.”

“Thank you, I added just a pinch of--”

“Laverne, you and Raven alright? Prim?”

“We’re all fine,” Laverne says as Peeta barges back into the kitchen.

“None of you have seen anything weird today?”

“What? Nothing I can think of.”

“What’s wrong?” Katniss asks and Peeta shakes his head, clenches his jaw and just motions for her to follow him.

As they walk towards the garage, he hands her a busted padlock. “That was on the ground.”

Her stomach turns the second he pushes the door open. Brightly colored silly string covers Alimony along with some kind of liquid. Her paint is streaked, eaten away in wide swaths. Puddles of reddish fluid coat the garage floor. A fishy smell hits her nostrils.

“Brake fluid?” she asks and he nods. 

“They covered her with it and cut the brake lines too. There might be more, I’m not sure yet.”

“Who did this?”

“I can think of a few candidates,” Peeta says, running a hand through his hair in agitation.

“Can you...fix it?”

“Not in one night,” he says.

They call the police. Are informed that not much can be done. One suggests it was a garage accident. Either she or Peeta must have done it. The other at least says that vandalism like this usually goes unsolved and unpunished unless a confession is made somewhere.

When they’re gone, Peeta cranks up loud music and dons work gloves. He scrapes and sands off the rest of the paint, stripping Alimony down to her skin. Katniss mops up the floor. By the time they’re done cleaning up the mess, Raven’s already asleep.

“Stay here tonight,” Katniss urges him. She’s yawning and fading fast.

“I still have work to do. You should get some sleep. You have to get up early to get Raven to school before work,” he says instead.

And this is how it ends, she thinks as she lays in bed staring at the ceiling. Faint sounds of him working on the car reach her through the night. Sometime around two in the morning, she wakes when his truck starts and pulls out of the driveway. She lets one tear streak down her cheek before she hides her face in her pillow.

He’ll come back for Raven, at least. She’s fairly certain of that. The rest isn’t strong enough to stand up to something so corrosive as Katniss. Now he’ll see exactly what he’ll be facing working with her and he’ll leave. Maybe it’d be better in an actual regulated league, but there’s no telling how long it’ll take her to get noticed and offered a ride. If ever. No telling how much Peeta would have to endure until then.

“Why would he bother?” she asks the night, angry when there’s no answer.

 

* * *

She’s stunned when he’s there in the morning, after she gets back from her half shift. He’s got Alimony on the trailer, bare and unpainted, but at least he was able to repair enough of the damage to make her drivable. Peeta nods to Katniss, but that’s all the greeting she gets before he starts his truck. Katniss hurries inside to grab her things and see Raven for just a second.

“Don’t bring her tonight,” Katniss whispers to Laverne and her aunt nods.

“Be careful, honey.”

 

* * *

“Fuck!”

Her wheels lock and the wall slams into her right side. She fumes over the radio while Peeta tries to calm her down. 

“Yellow,” he tells her and she yanks off her gloves.

“She’s dead.” Now it’s Peeta’s turn to swear.

“Alright, I’m on my way. Be careful getting out.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters as she starts working on her belts.

“Katniss--”

The entire car lurches as someone rams into her. Hard. And she screams in reflex.

“Katniss!”

“I’m fine. Just rattled.”

Her heart pounds in her chest as she hears Peeta cursing and yelling over the radio. Something about a dirty hit and “Bull _ shit _ he didn’t have control!” She vaguely hears someone shout back that he’s about to be ejected from the track, and Katniss comes to her senses.

“Peeta…” He doesn’t respond at first, too busy cussing out the track official. “Peeta!”

“What?”

“I’m fine. Stop yelling at them. They’re just looking for an excuse to toss us both out of here.”

Afterwards, Jethro-Tull Pierce walks by and tells her maybe she needs to be less liberal with handing out her sugar and people would respect her more.

 

* * *

“Where were you?” she asks as he stops on the porch, shoes scraping on the concrete. Pristine and clean because he power washed the porch, the sidewalk, the driveway -- all of it -- just last week. 

It’s a familiar dance. This question and evasion. She’s done it before. It shouldn’t affect her this time. She already knows where he was. Why he’s late tonight. And yesterday. She drives by Ripper’s bar every day on her way home from work and saw his truck parked outside, next to a few other familiar vehicles.

“Had a stop to make. For Alimony,” he says. She bites her tongue and doesn’t budge when he goes inside to see Raven.

 

* * *

The cool air helps clear her head as she takes a moment to herself, in the shadows of the trees around the track. She half expected Peeta to back out, abandon her. At least he appears to be sticking it out for the last race of the season. Tomorrow, she thinks. Tomorrow he’ll come to her with a carefully prepared speech about how he can’t work with her anymore. 

She’s a good driver, but not good enough to keep someone like Peeta around with all the extra shit that her being a single mother, divorced from one of their buds, brings with it. Especially not when they all believe she cheated on Gale with Peeta then lied about Raven’s parentage to get Gale to marry her.

She can take it, she reminds herself. As long as Peeta doesn’t stop being Raven’s dad, Katniss can handle it.

But she won’t tolerate him breaking Raven’s heart.

Pausing just shy of the pit areas, she watches him move around Alimony. Checking and double checking. Katniss smiles.

It fades as she watches Jethro-Tull Pierce wander by with a few buddies and a couple blondes in Daisy Dukes and primped hair. It’s too cold for the way they’re dressed and she’s pretty sure she can see their nipples poking through their flimsy shirts from here. Peeta laughs at something Jethro says. One of the blondes pets Peeta’s arm and smiles up at him. They look so chummy. All of them.

Betrayal.

She feels the swift bite of betrayal. And it nearly brings tears to her eyes.

She reminds herself that she doesn't need him. She didn’t need him before and she won’t need him after.

He waves at the group and slings himself beneath the jacked up chassis. They linger for a second, Jethro looking around like the rat he is before swiping a gallon jug of some fluid Peeta had sitting on the back end.

“Hey!”

Fury overcomes betrayal and she marches after Jethro. He ignores her and keeps walking. When she pulls abreast of Alimony, Peeta’s voice reaches her.

“Let it go, Katniss.”

“What? Look, I realize the past two months have been rough, but whatever he just took--”

“I wanted him to take it,” Peeta says and slides out from beneath the car. Stands next to her so his back is to Jethro’s retreating form and only Katniss can see his face. Soft and pleading. Completely incongruent with the distant way he’s been acting around her lately. “Trust me?”

She wants to fight. To yell at him that she can’t. Not since he’s been buddying up to the same assholes who have tormented her, blocked her, judged her, trampled over her for years. Even before she got pregnant with Raven. And he  _ knows _ that. Peeta knows that. He saw her put Jethro in the wall for making crass comments the night they met. The night they made Raven.

“Trust me. Please?”

She shakes her head, but the call to head to the starting line arrives before she can say a thing. In a daze, she moves through their normal preparations. Katniss stares at the radio on the dashboard, then the dials as needles swing wildly with the start before settling where they belong. Peeta leans in and helps with the belts, talks to her over the radio and she nods, numb and afraid until he tugs on her braid, drawing her attention up to his blue eyes.

“Stay away from Jethro tonight.”

She shakes her head, confused what he means and exactly how she’s supposed to do that.

But then the track is cleared and she focuses on what must be done. Before she can blink, the flags are up then down. She flies forward and wrangles herself into what she thinks is fourth. Lost as to what to say to Peeta, Katniss keeps quiet and drives. He doesn’t seem very talkative either. No matter. There’s enough noise on the track to keep her occupied anyways.

On the second lap, Peeta laughs in her ear.

“What’s so funny?” she says. 

“You’ll see.”

When she rounds turn two again, she sees Jethro-Tull Pierce’s car up against the wall, smashed on one side. He’s climbing out the window and yelling something fierce.

“What happened?”

“Dunno,” Peeta says, but she can hear the levity in his voice. She doesn’t know what exactly Peeta did, all she needs to know is that it’s his doing. The heaviness she’s been carrying lifts free and flies away. He hasn’t betrayed her after all. “You focus on winning this thing, okay?”

He doesn’t tell her how she’s doing until five laps to go. Then he mentions off hand that she’s one away from the lead. Her heart leaps for a second and then she asks if they can get burgers on the way home if she wins. Peeta laughs and after that, they speak in measured, unexcited tones. Almost removed from the action as she passes the leader with one turn to go.

When the checkers wave and Peeta’s jubilation reaches her over her headset, she can barely contain herself. She flings aside helmet and gloves to crawl from her car. She’s not even all the way out when Peeta grabs her and pulls her the rest of the way, lifting her in the air. She spots a flash of hot pink headed her way and blows a kiss at Raven.

Cheers and whistles reach her. Chants of her name. Feet stomping the metal stands. The three of them wind up in a huddle and Katniss clings to her daughter for a precious moment of victory.

 

* * *

“What was in that jug?” She whispers after they’ve handed her winnings to her and she’s given Peeta his cut. Raven is with her Grandma and Aunt Prim, dancing next to the car. 

“Mostly water, but with some food coloring and a dash of Donald’s aftershave so he’d think it was something else.”

“You sabotaged his engine?” Peeta shrugs at her incredulous tone.

“He sabotaged it himself. And he shouldn’t have trashed Alimony.”

“It was him?” Peeta nods solemnly. “I thought it was Gale.”

“So did I at first. Seemed the obvious choice until I started snooping around town a bit.”

“Hey, asshole!” Jethro yells before Katniss can ask Peeta how he got Jethro to put that shit in his car.

“Okay, time to get you and Raven out of here,” Peeta pushes her towards their daughter and turns to face the music. Only, Gale steps between him and Jethro and stands firm, crosses his arms. Protecting her and Peeta.

“There a problem here?” Gale asks in a voice that makes Katniss freeze. Jethro’s eyes dart between Peeta and Gale for a second, weighing his odds. He must not like them much because he shakes his head and slowly backs away. When he’s got some distance, he pauses and finds some of his stupidity. Points around both men at Katniss.

“You better be ready for next season, bitch. I’m coming for you.”

“Yeah, see that’s where you’re wrong. Katniss isn’t a bitch,” Peeta says. “But Karma is.”

Jethro’s face is red as he walks off. When he’s out of sight, Gale faces Peeta, arms still crossed, face still glaring and Katniss holds her breath.

“I should knock your lights out.” Peeta’s shoulders stiffen at Gale’s words but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t flinch.

“Just do better by them than I did,” Gale says and walks off before Katniss or Peeta can say a word.

“What in the hell just happened?” Peeta asks and Katniss laughs as he turns and embraces her.

“I have no idea.”

Just when she’s sure the night can’t get any stranger, someone else demands her attention.

“Miss Everdeen?” Katniss turns towards her name, taking in the polished man with red dirt on his fancy shoes and hems of his pants. He looks completely out of place, and yet acts as though he belongs at a rough and tumble dirt track. “I’m Seneca Crane. I assume you know who I represent?” He waits for her nod before he continues. “Excellent. We’ve been watching you this past year and I think we have a deal that might interest you.”


	3. PIT STOPS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's another long chapter. Sorry.

“God this is all so confusing. Is this even English?” Katniss holds the sheet of paper up to the light, as though illuminating it from behind will give her some kind of clarity as to what the hell all this legal jargon means.

“We need a lawyer,” Peeta agrees and thunks his head on the table twice before leaving it there to rest. She reaches over and rubs the back of his head. His curls feel soft under her skin and she doesn’t stop.

“Only lawyer I know is a divorce and traffic court lawyer. Not sure how much help he’ll be,” Katniss says and Peeta snorts. Then his head jerks up, forcing her to stop caressing him.

“Wait a second…”

“What?”

“My aunt married a lawyer. The family stopped talking to him years ago after they got a divorce, but I think Mom still has his phone number. She keeps up with things like that.” He stands and pauses with his hand over the kitchen phone. “Can I…?”

“By all means,” Katniss waves towards the thing. “Save us from this quagmire because I can’t afford enough Tylenol to get us through reading this shit.”

“Yet,” he reminds her with a smile and she shimmies happily in her chair.

“Yet.”

She tries to keep reading the draft contract and not eavesdrop on Peeta’s conversation. The temptation proves too great. He hardly ever speaks of his family, and she’s never met any of them. She remembers him saying that his dad didn’t give two shits about him and his mother wanted him to finish school. He’s got two older brothers. His dad passed away and he came home for the funeral...that’s all she can recall.

“Hey, Mom,” he starts and then almost immediately curls his body around the phone on the wall. “No… No I won’t be there, I… Mom I can’t afford airfare out to Oregon right now, you know that… I sent a card and a present already. That’ll just have to be enough… Well it’s not like he’s never been married before… Okay, leave her out of this, Mom… Mom! I just need Uncle Haymitch’s phone number, please? ...No! Nothing like that. Just some business contracts I need his help making sense of… yes Mom so I don’t screw up like with the last one. Can you just--”

Then he stops talking and braces one arm on the wall, rests his head on it and stays silent while Katniss can hear the drone of his mother’s voice over the line. At one point, he writes something on a scrap of paper and then taps the pencil on the counter, fast and agitated. She feels wrong seeing this, but can’t bring herself to look away.

“Yes, Mother,” he finally says with a sigh and then hangs up and clears his throat. “Sorry about that.”

“She sounds…”

“Awful?” he supplies and turns around to show her the paper with a phone number on it. Before she can ask him anymore about his mother and whose wedding he’s skipping out on and who exactly he wants his mother to leave out of things, Peeta picks up the phone and dials again.

* * *

“Did you pack Raven’s giraffe?” Katniss shouts down the hall as she frantically irons the closest thing she’s got to a business suit. Purchased second hand and tailored by Aunt Laverne. It’s really just slacks and a blouse, but it will have to do.

“Ooh, don’t forget your denim jacket to wear with that. It’ll totally make you look like a badass race car driver. And sunglasses. Oh! And your black boots that are currently in my room don’t hate me they’re too rad to resist!” Prim says as she skips through the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Out where?”

“Out there,” Prim waves vaguely outside the house.

“If Hank Peddleton is involved--” Prim rolls her eyes and Katniss yanks the iron back from her blouse, just shy of scorching the fabric.

“Says the girl who got knocked up and married at sixteen.”

“And you’re not gonna repeat that.”

“I’m already seventeen so -- can’t,” she shrugs and then shouts down the hall. “I’ll be back for supper, Mama L!”

“Be safe, Prim!”

“Hold it right there.” Prim sticks out her tongue and vanishes before Katniss can stop her. “Primrose!”

“You smother her, she’s only more likely to do exactly what you don’t want her to do,” Aunt Laverne says as she enters the kitchen. “Giraffe located and ready to go.”

“Good. Peeta should be here any minute now,” Katniss says and shakes the blouse once before returning it to it’s hanger over the black slacks. “That still looks like it came from a thrift store, doesn’t it?”

“Hey, relax, baby girl. They want you for your driving abilities, not your closet.”

“I know, I’m just so…”

“Worked up?”

“Yes!”

“You know what could fix that?” Aunt Laverne asks and starts humming a few bars of a Marvin Gaye song that has Katniss’ jaw hanging open.

“Aunt Laverne! I can’t sleep with Peeta!”

“Honey, you had a child with him. I know you’ve already gone there.”

“That was years ago. Besides, he doesn’t want me like that anymore.”

“Oh my sweet, sweet, Katniss,” Aunt Laverne says with a hearty laugh. “It’s a good thing you’ve got better instincts behind a steering wheel than you do with men.”

“Grandma! Can’t find my pink leggings!” Aunt Laverne rolls her eyes and hurries back out of the kitchen.

“They’re folded on my bed, Raven! All clean and ready to pack.”

“Um...Katniss?” Prim says as she walks back through the kitchen door. All sass gone from her now pale face and her hands worrying her ponytail. Gale and a police officer follow her into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Catnip,” Gale says. “It’s about your mom.”

* * *

Found dead in a gutter of a drug overdose. The only thing in her pockets a handful of old, soiled school pictures of Katniss and Prim, a snapshot of their dad, and a slip of paper with Katniss’ name and address at the Hawthorne’s listed. Katniss stares at her hands as the truck lumbers down the road towards Atlanta. Laverne insisted they go anyways, despite the bad news.

Raven nodded off an hour down the road, leaving her parents in a strange silence. Trees fly by as they continue down the highway. Some barren, others golden and burnt in fall foliage.

“Did you...want to talk about it?” Peeta breaks the silence first and Katniss turns to look out the window instead.

“Just doesn’t seem real,” she says. Words become impossible after that.

* * *

“Mommy, can’t sleep,” Raven says, rolling over one way and then the other before wriggling closer to Katniss. “Sing to me?”

Katniss wraps her daughter up in her arms and kisses the crown of her head. “Is it the strange room, baby girl?”

“That box ate a monster,” Raven whispers and shudders. Katniss glances up as Peeta flicks on one of the lamps, still lying awake in the other bed.

“The heater?” Peeta asks.

“Under the window,” Raven confirms. He slides from bed and walks over to the heater, adjusting the temperature dials and listening to it for a second. “Be right back.”

While he’s outside, retrieving tools from his truck, Katniss murmurs softly to Raven, asking her about her favorite part of the drive today -- hot chocolate and apple pie at a farmer’s roadside stand -- if she wants to go to the zoo or to the aquarium after Mommy and Daddy’s meeting tomorrow -- the aquarium because she’s never seen a whale, or any ocean creature, in real life. When Peeta returns, he pops the cover off the heater and sets to work.

“Sing now, Mommy?” Raven pleads again. Tucking back some of Raven’s hair, Katniss takes a deep breath and hums a few notes before she starts singing.

 _I see a red door and I want it painted black_ _  
_ _No colors anymore I want them to turn black_ _  
_ _I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes_   
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

By the end of the first verse, Raven’s eyes begin to droop. The shades of blue in her irises shifting in the dim lighting, changing with each dilation and contraction of her pupils. Pulsing like starlight.

 _I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black_ _  
_ _With flowers and my love both never to come back_ _  
_ _I see people turn their heads and quickly look away_   
Like a newborn baby it just happens every day

The song continues to flow from her lips, into the night as Katniss remembers another voice singing this song as a lullaby. A slower tempo and more mournful tone than the original version. She remembers the timbre of his deep voice every time she sings this to Raven. The night she was born. Long nights of teething and disturbances that come from living in an overcrowded home of people working multiple jobs with shifts at all hours of the day. Before Katniss would head out for a late night shift at the mill and leave Raven in someone else’s hands. Tonight, the memory burns afresh. With pain in her chest that bleeds into the melody.

 _I look inside myself and see my heart is black_ _  
_ _I see my red door I must have it painted black_ _  
_ _Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts_   
It’s not easy facing ‘em when your whole world is black

Halfway through the song, Raven’s asleep and the heater is fixed. No longer growling but quietly humming. Still, Katniss can’t stop singing.

 _No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue_ _  
_ _I could not foresee this thing happening to you_ _  
_ _If I look hard enough into the setting sun_   
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes

She can feel Peeta’s eyes watching her as she returns to the chorus. Almost afraid of what she’ll see when she does, she braves it anyways and meets his gaze. He’s sitting on the floor, knees bent up, arms draped over them. A screwdriver laced through his fingers and an unreadable expression in his eyes.

 _I see a red door and I want it painted black_ _  
_ _No colors anymore I want them to turn black_ _  
_ _I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes_   
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Her voice wavers on the last few lines, wishing for the sky to be painted black. Black as coal. To blot out the sun. The words feel wrong somehow, but she voices them anyways. Hums a few final notes and kisses Raven on the cheek. When the song is finished, Peeta blinks once, very slowly, and then stands to replace the cover on the heater. He flicks off the lamps and she listens to him climb back into bed.

The new silence eats at her until Katniss can’t take it anymore.

“I know it’s not a traditional lullaby,” she says and her throat tightens. Maybe she’s coming down with a cold, she thinks. She hears Peeta shifting in the dark and she closes her eyes, imagines his steady blue gaze on her across the chasm between their beds. “My father used to sing it to me when I was little and when the nurses on the maternity ward suggested I sing to her when she was fussy…Some nights that’s all that would calm her.”

“I can see why. Your voice is…”

“Grating?”

“Enthralling. Mesmerizing,” he says and she lifts her head slightly. “Hypnotic almost.”

The heater purrs in the night, warming their hotel room. Eventually it kicks off and she’s sure he’s asleep until he asks her a question.

“So what happened to your father? You talked about him a little the night you and I…” Peeta’s words trail off in the black of night, but Katniss understands.

“He died at the mill. A chain failed and he was crushed…” she can’t finish and swallows.

“I’m so sorry, Katniss.”

She nods, even though he can’t see her. “My mother never got over it. She just sort of...shut down. Lost herself in booze and cigarettes. Then one day I guess it became too much. She packed a bag and left us.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Raven was still a baby. Not even a year old yet. Gale and I were married and living with his entire family. Aunt Laverne stepped in and took charge of taking care of Prim. I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t.” She takes a few deep breaths, imagines the pain swirling around her in a dark cloud instead of consuming her. “My mom...she used to say that their love was like a fairy tale. She adored my father and he adored her. Sometimes she’d say she could see starlight in his eyes. I thought that’s what real love looked like. I even thought that about your eyes when you were kissing me. Newborn stars are blue, right? But then...then she abandoned us and that’s not...that’s not love. You don’t leave the people you love like that.”

Peeta’s quiet for a moment. Now her eyes droop, pulled down by exhaustion and the weight she feels constantly pressing down on her. Then he asks for more.

“And your dad? When did he…?”

“The night I met you.” He has no answer for that except a shifting of his body in the sheets. Sleep pulls at her, making her tongue loose. “I woke up in the morning and he was gone. He was gone and so were you. Then I found out I was pregnant about a month later.” The last words slip out right before she succumbs to sleep. “Raven was the only good thing that came out of that night.”

* * *

“Okay, here we are.” Peeta parks the truck and they sit staring at the wall of concrete in front of them. Peeta pulls a crumpled paper from his pocket and double checks the directions. Raven bounces impatiently in her seat.

When they manage to climb from the truck, Katniss is breathing harshly and tugs on Raven’s jacket to straighten it. Peeta murmurs reassuring words as he hands her the folder with their copy of paperwork detailing her future. Her chance at something better for Raven.

He carries Raven and answers a million and one questions as they make their way through the parking garage to the tall building. It soars skyward with walls of windows that let in the light and make the place almost blinding, even on an overcast day.

“Are we in the clouds?” Raven asks breathlessly.

“Looks that way,” Peeta tells her and Raven extends her arms to flap them gracefully, like a bird. Peeta laughs and twirls with her, aiding their daughter’s imaginings and making Katniss smile.

They have to make it through a receptionist, a bank of six elevators, another receptionist and finally find themselves waiting in leather chairs. The wealth of the place is overwhelming and Katniss rubs her hands over the buttery leather while Raven pulls a book from her bag and asks to be read to. Peeta takes over and Katniss gives him a weak smile. Her stomach in knots of dread she can’t explain.

He finishes reading and they’re still waiting. Anxiety departed about ten minutes ago and annoyance is firmly in its place.

“What kind of lawyer is this uncle of yours again?” Katniss asks as Raven lays on the floor with a few of her favorite toy cars, driving them over the thick carpet.

“Not exactly sure. All I know is he represents about half of the Atlanta Falcons.”

“You’d think he’d be better at time management then,” Katniss grumbles.

“And I’d think some upstart hillbilly race car driver would be more appreciative that I managed to find ten minutes for her sorry ass,” a voice growls from the doorway as a man in a suit lumbers past them.

Peeta stands and smiles. “Haymitch. Good to see you again.”

“Cut the crap, kid.”

They stand there, gaping as Haymitch tries the door to his office and sighs. “Effie!”

“Sorry Mr. Abernathy,” the petite receptionist they spoke to earlier races to the door and fumbles with a set of keys while Haymitch calmly sips his coffee.

“I thought her name was Susan?” Katniss whispers and Peeta shakes his head.

“Alright let’s get this over with,” Haymitch says as soon as the door is open and he barges through. They hesitate as Susan hurries back to her desk. “Today, hillbillies!”

Katniss jumps and scoops Raven into her arms. Peeta grabs the stray toys and they enter Haymitch’s office. He’s already shed his overcoat and tossed a briefcase onto a massive desk. He’s working on getting his suit jacket unbuttoned. The office is just as plush and splendid as the waiting area. The polished wood desk alone is probably worth about what Katniss spends in a month on basic necessities. Maybe more.

“Wow,” Raven breathes and wriggles free to run over to the huge window. She presses her hands and face against the glass to peer out over the world laid at her feet. “Now we really are in the clouds.”

“Raven, honey,” Katniss starts to warn her daughter back from the window, to not leave fingerprints on the glass, but she’s too late. Haymitch has already spotted her.

“Whose rugrat is this?”

“Mine. Ours,” Katniss says and Peeta gently picks her up.

“Ours?” Haymitch asks, both eyebrows lifting.

“Daddy, that man looks grouchy,” Raven whispers and clings to Peeta’s collar. “Maybe he needs a nap time.”

Haymitch blinks once then barks in sudden laughter. “What’s your name, squirt?”

“Raven,” she says.

“Hmm, well Raven. Think you can play quietly while I talk to your parents?”

“I brought a coloring book,” she tells him and Haymitch motions towards an open square of carpet next to the desk, where she’ll still have a clear view out the window. “Thank you, Mr. Grouch.”

She starts coloring and Haymitch turns to the adults, a glower back on his face. “You two idiots married?”

“No,” they both answer at the same time.

“So you’re just her baby daddy,” Haymitch says, pointing at Peeta. They both open their mouths to protest and Haymitch shakes his head, slices a hand through the air to shut them up. “Get used to being called that, kid. That’s about all you’re gonna be in this picture. I’m not even sure why you’re here except to maybe babysit that cutie.” Haymitch jerks his thumb towards Raven.

“They suggested I bring her,” Katniss argues, spine stiff as she senses judgement for bringing Raven along.

“Course they did. You pay attention to the way these racing leagues work, it’s a goddamn family business. Not easy to get anywhere unless you’re connected to someone with a last name of Gloss or Chapman or Jenkins. You’re their new mother hen and they’re hoping for a golden egg with you. That contract is a real piece of work, I gotta say. I wouldn’t want to go up against these Snow Racing lawyers in court and nitpick clauses with them.”

“What’s that got to do with Raven and whether or not Peeta and I are married?”

“Well, sweetheart,” Haymitch says and pulls a stack of papers from his briefcase before smacking them on the desk, “because this contract makes it very clear that what they want is single mother and race car driver Katniss Everdeen. They’ve got some kind of story they want to tell with you, and while I’m not exactly sure what it is yet, I can say there’s no room for happily ever after. Not with him at least.”

“Peeta’s my crew chief,” Katniss argues and sits up straighter.

“You can try that line of arguing, but it probably won’t go over well,” Haymitch says then softens a little when he faces Peeta again. “Look kid, I like you. You were the only one of Mabel’s kids who wasn’t a little punk and actually had some brains in his head. Right up until that stunt you pulled at age sixteen. But this thing doesn’t mention you once. It’s all about Sweetheart here.”

“That makes no sense! If this is a family business as you say it is, wouldn’t they want Peeta in the picture too?”

“You’d think that, but I’m guessing it’s because you’re the driver and he’s the grease monkey. If it were the other way around...well then he’d be the one in the spotlight and you’d be “and girl” standing by your man. But he’s not gonna be in the spot of glamor. You are, Sweetheart. And my best guess is they all want to believe they’ve got a chance to score with you. That’s part of the story.”

“I’m not going to—“

“You won’t have to. It’s about the appearance, the fantasy they can build in their heads around you. Happy little monogamous family won’t fit the image they’re building of a tough as nails, single working mother who fought her way to the top of the racing world. Now, can we go over a few things that stood out as red flags to me and have counterpoints ready for tomorrow? I assume you called me because you don’t want Katniss getting screwed in this deal.”

“Yes, that’s exactly why we called you,” Peeta says and leans forward in his chair. Before Katniss can argue that she won’t sign anything if Peeta’s not in there too, Haymitch has already launched into explanations that take all her brain power to keep up with.

* * *

“I don’t like it,” she says as Raven sits close to the thick glass, bathed in blue light and watching whale sharks and manta rays, massive gentle creatures of the sea, soaring above her.

“I don’t either,” Peeta says and leans back on both hands. “But how often is a chance like this gonna come your way?”

“You want me to sign it?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe there’s another solution.”

“Haymitch said it’s not a full season contract. Just a partial season in the Tribute League. I still gotta work my way up to Victor’s Cup.” A partial season contract to fill an empty space made by another driver who suffered a concussion and a broken leg, and will be out for at least four months. But he had a great season last year and they want the car on the track the whole year to rack up the points.

“Yeah.”

“Which means I could be without a ride and back on the dirt tracks by June.”

“Unless you show them how good you are,” Peeta says. “Then someone will pick you up as a driver.”

“There’s no guarantee of that...but it’s a lot of money, too.” Katniss twists her fingers together. “Means college tuition for Prim. Some of it anyways. At least enough to buy us some time.”

Her mind churns it over and over as she watches Raven. There’s no solution evident in the deep blue artificial sea.

* * *

“Good morning, Katniss! I’m so thrilled to finally meet you.”

There’s a hand reaching towards her. A pale, delicate hand glittering with gold rings and a soft lavender nail polish. She takes the hand, almost afraid to shake it. Rough hands of a dirt poor mill worker up against the pampered hands of a wealthy businesswoman. She orders her feet not to shift. Her body not to shrink while juxtaposed to so much soft femininity. Perfectly manicured nails, perfectly applied makeup. A tailored skirt suit and silk blouse that look like they were made just to be worn by this woman and sky high heels that have her towering over Katniss, making her feel insignificant and plain.

“Same here,” Katniss says, completely unaware of who this is. The woman seems to sense this and laughs before flipping her honey blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Oh Katniss, you don’t have to pretend you know who I am. Most people know my grandfather and my father, not me. But we’re about to change that. For both of us. I’m Ariana Snow-Waites. I’d drop the Waites but unfortunately, I hit career success before my divorce, so those who do know me know my married name.”

She rolls her brown eyes and puckers her peach lips in a simper that oddly sets Katniss at ease. Enough to let out a short laugh.

“Guess I got lucky that way, got divorced and then made a name for myself,” Katniss says and Ariana Snow-Waites laughs.

“Oh I love the story about your car being your alimony. It’s fantastic. Come inside and we’ll get right to business. And Haymitch Abernathy. Well all I can say is that I am stoked our newest driver already pulls so much clout.”

“Favor for family, Ms. Snow-White. Don't get too excited.”

“Oh. Are you two related?”

“No,” they both answer and Katniss pauses, momentarily caught in thoughts of Peeta. But Haymitch told her not to lead with that request. To see how soft they are and how deep their pockets go before demanding that Peeta be somehow included on her team. It’s not easy with the next question that comes at her, along with motions for them to be seated at the large conference table.

“Now what about your adorable daughter. Will we be meeting her today?”

“She’s with her father,” Katniss says and Ariana seems startled.

“Oh! I hadn’t realized he was still involved.”

“That’s a more recent development,” Katniss explains. “But he is very involved.”

“Okay...well, let’s get started. I’ve noted your changes, Mr. Abernathy. We’re fine with most of them. There are just a few tiny details we’d like to nitpick.”

A cranium pounding back and forth across a shining conference table large enough to seat at least forty people ensues. She follows as much as she can, but Haymitch winds up doing most of the talking. Water appears at her elbow and she drinks greedily, interjecting when she feels comfortable doing so. Time ticks by, her brain wandering to Raven and Peeta, who planned on exploring one of the parks in the city.

“Are we all satisfied?” Ariana asks when the contract has been written over in red, crossed out and annotated into something new.

“Not yet,” Katniss speaks up and Ariana turns a smile on her, slightly less bright than the one that first greeted her.

“Is there something else about your contract you wish to change?”

“Not mine,” Katniss explains and carefully sets her now empty glass of water on the table. “My crew chief, Peeta Mellark.”

“Oh right, the mechanic you had working on your car.”

“He’s more than just a mechanic. I’d like him on the team,” Katniss explains, but Ariana is already shaking her head.

“As much as I would love to give you everything you want, I simply can’t manage this one. You are inheriting an already formed team with an established crew chief, pit crew, and garage crew.”

“He’s the best mechanic I know.”

“Well you haven’t met any of ours,” Ariana points out and Katniss pauses but then shakes her head.

“There has to be something--”

“I appreciate your obvious loyalty, Katniss. But this is not a concession I can make. I’m sorry. You will be racing on asphalt, not dirt. Hundreds of laps, longer distances, and much higher speeds than you have before. The rules are more stringent. The transmissions are completely different. There’s less room for...mechanical creativity with the cars. It’s an entirely different world of racing than what you’re coming from. This Peter just doesn’t have the right kind of experience we’re looking for.”

Katniss shifts forward to argue that neither does she and his name is Peeta, but Haymitch’s hand on her arm stops her. She glares at the harmless touch and then sits there as Ariana calls in a young man.

“Mark! We need these changes made by end of lunch so Miss Everdeen can sign.”

* * *

Peeta swirls his last few fries through ketchup and Katniss searches for words. Eyes following Raven as she plays.

“Peeta, I…”

“It’s fine, Katniss. They’re not wrong.”

“I should have told them about your time in baja.”

“Sounds like it wouldn’t have mattered. What matters is that you’re taking care of Raven’s future. Prim’s future. Your future. Just like you wanted to.”

“All their stupid mechanics had to start somewhere.”

“Maybe. I could wait for an opening as tire changer on your team and apply for that. Work my way up from there.”

She snorts but then tilts her head. “You know, that’s not a bad idea.”

“I was joking. Those guys don’t make shit for what they’re doing unless they’re on a Cup crew.”

“No, I mean...it’s still only a four month contract. Like we said, I could be back in the dirt by June.”

“Go on,” Peeta says, now swirling the fries through the air before eating them.

“Even with the signing bonus, I don’t feel comfortable sinking myself into a mortgage on a house here. Not to mention other than a few solid weeks of practice, they really only need me on the weekends. Most of the other drivers at this level still have second jobs. So there’s no reason for me to move and uproot Raven just yet.”

Peeta hums and the sound encourages her, so she keeps going down this line of thinking.

“You could find a job here in Atlanta easily, if it comes to that. But until I know I’ve got a solid year or more on contract...it’s not wise for you to move here either. And maybe then, I can at least convince them to put you on the garage crew if it’s my team and not one I’m borrowing. All you need is a chance to show them what you can do with an engine and they’d be begging you to come work for them.”

“So what’re you suggesting?”

“I’m saying that we stay where we are for now. I travel for races on the weekends. Maybe quit one job. The diner because it pays less. Can’t keep both with the schedule they’ve got laid out for me here.” She bites her lip and sorts through more details.

“And Raven?”

“Like I said, we stay where we are. Maybe...maybe she could spend weekends with you in Panem. While I’m racing. Yeah?”

“Still needs some fine tuning,” he says and she meets his blue eyes.

“It’s the best I’ve got.”

“So we’ll tweak it til it works,” he says.

* * *

She signs first. Page after page of initials and signatures. Hand shaking as she signs the final block and hands the pen over to Haymitch. He scrawls his name and seals her fate for the next half year.

“Excellent,” Ariana says and her name flows from the pen in a huge flourish. “Welcome to Snow Racing, Katniss.”

* * *

The first thing she notices is that there’s no garage. No place for Peeta to work on his truck during the hours he’s not working for a paycheck or for her. The next thing she notices is the neglected garden. A patch of dirt and weeds, although those are trimmed back and the rest of the tiny, chain link fenced yard is neatly maintained. He steps through the front door to wave at them and Raven squeals happily.

“Daddy!”

“Hey there!” He swoops in to hug their daughter and to relieve Katniss of Raven’s bag, leading them inside as Raven babbles about all the exciting things she wants to do with her Daddy this weekend while Katniss is in Atlanta to meet her team. Katniss holds tight to her daughter’s pillow as she follows them into the small town home wedged between two more just like it in a row. She steps through the door and shuts it, immediately engulfed in warmth.

“Ooh! I like your pictures!” Raven says and climbs onto the couch to point them out.

“Raven honey, take your boots off before you climb on the furniture and get it all dirty,” Katniss admonishes. Peeta picks her up and holds her as she drops the boots to the floor, still occupied pointing out the pictures tacked up on the wall. Car engines, of course.

“What’s this one?” Raven asks and Peeta smiles.

“1969 Boss 302...a Mustang,” he tells her and she points eagerly to the next. “1972 Chevelle...1998 Dodge Dakota.” And another. “Oh that’s my favorite in this bunch. 1985 Chevy Camaro with late 90’s to early 2000’s dirt track racing mods.”

“Alimony?” Katniss asks and takes a closer look.

“Yep,” he says and Raven squints at the picture.

“Where’s the rest of her?”

“On the fridge,” he says with a soft laugh. “We can look at those later.”

Other than the car engines decorating the wall, Peeta’s place has a comforting familiarity to Katniss. Worn furniture and a strange noise in the walls that might be the water pipes, or a rodent making its home in the insulation, or the sounds from a neighboring home. Carpet and paint that needed to be replaced or refurbished ten years ago. It’s at least clean and tidy, and she spots a faded toy trunk in the corner. A quick peek shows that Peeta must have hit up garage sales and thrift stores to pick out some toys for Raven to have here. The place even smells homey. She thinks she smells apples and something cheesy baking.

“Did you want to see your room?” he asks and Raven nods, her braids bouncing and Peeta’s smile growing wide as he sets her down and she leads the charge upstairs. Katniss follows, biting back curiosity and unable to hold it in check. Raven squeals and runs forward. So naturally, when she reaches the top of the narrow stairs, Katniss’ eyes flick to the room to the right instead. To a mattress sitting on the floor but neatly covered with a thick blue comforter, patched in two spots. An overturned box with a lamp set on it and bare walls. Peeta’s leather bag of tools sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed.

It’s the home of someone living paycheck to paycheck and guilt hits Katniss. She took the signing bonus from Snow Racing and had their house in Seam repainted. That only took a small amount and the rest went into something completely new to Katniss...a savings account. Next on her list is new carpet for the house, but this glance at Peeta’s home drives in the point that he’s being left out where he shouldn’t. They likely wouldn’t have offered this contract if it hadn’t been for him.

Then she steps into the room behind Raven and can’t help the surprised gasp. Raven’s already made herself at home on the pretty green and white quilt, socked feet tapping the head board as she pages through a book for a second.

“Can you read this for bedtime, Daddy?”

“Sure,” he tells her and she sets it on the nightstand then grabs Katniss’ hand.

“Look, Mommy. More pictures.” Only these are hand drawn and painted right onto the walls. A colorful garden of flowers over a small dresser. Raven’s room is easily the most put together and carefully decorated room in the house.

“I didn’t have time to get her clothes to keep in there, but maybe for next time.”

“No, it’s fine,” Katniss reassures him. “Raven, do you like it?”

“I love it. Where do you sleep, Daddy?”

“Just around the corner,” he says and shows her how close he’ll be. Then where the bathroom is. The only notable thing about that -- other than the brand new hot pink towels and pearly white cup with a new, child’s toothbrush in it -- is the giant orange jug of pumice cleaner, degreaser, whatever the heck it is that every mechanic Katniss knows swears by, sitting on the sink. He keeps one in her garage too, and she smiles a little.

“Can we see the kitchen now?”

“Back downstairs,” Peeta says exuberantly and scoops a giggling Raven into the air to carry her back down. Katniss pauses in the bedroom doorway to take one last look and then shakes the odd feeling off before following them downstairs.

They’re on his fridge. Raven’s school picture and more. Smiling with ice cream all over her face, cheek to cheek with Katniss after they had their faces painted at an art festival in Capitol. There’s one of Alimony in her black-green-pink paint scheme, shining under the lights. Even one of Katniss leaning back against the rear, waiting for a race to start. There’s also a laminated list of phone numbers. Emergency numbers, their house in Seam, one for Katniss while she’s in Atlanta, Raven’s pediatrician.

“What’s in the oven?” Raven asks and Peeta flips on the light to show her.

“Mac and cheese.” Raven dances in delight and claps her hands. “It’s almost done.”

He lifts a lid off a pot on the stove and stirs a thick, caramel colored stew — cooked apples based on the smell of it. Katniss’ mouth waters and Raven finds a nearby stool to set up in front of the stove.

“Can I help?”

“Sure,” Peeta says and speaks softly to her as he shows her how to stir the apples without getting burned and reminds her that cooking is to be done with help from an adult until she’s at least seven or eight years old.

Katniss feels her throat closing, a tightness in her chest and she once more wonders if she’s caught a bug. It’s really not a good time for that. She clears her throat.

“I should probably hit the road.”

“You don’t want to stay for supper?” he asks but she shakes her head. Her throat squeezes tight and she feels almost feverish.

“I don’t want to be driving too late. And it looks like you have this under control.”

“Hugs!” Raven says and throws herself in her mom’s arms. Katniss spends a few minutes reminding Raven to behave herself and that they can call her for any reason while she’s gone. Two kisses to Raven’s dimple and that’s all she can manage. Or she might not leave at all.

“Peeta, her room is...amazing. Let me pay for it,” she says as he walks her to the front door.

“Why?” he asks, and she sees something in his eyes that she can recognize. Pride. He’s proud that he could do this for Raven and Katniss can’t bear to crush that or take it from him. She needs to give him a reason that won’t hurt.

“Because you put so much work into Alimony and I never really paid you for all of it.”

“It’s no big deal, Katniss,” he says and shakes his head. “Call us when you get there?”

She barely makes it into her truck and down the block before the tears start.

“Why are you crying, Everdeen?” she asks the cold winter sky.

* * *

“Ready. Ready. Brake. Too late. You’re past the line.”

“Let’s try it again,” she says as she waits for the pit crew to finish changing the tires. She’s still getting used to the rapid tilt and jolt of the car as they change four tires, refill her tank, make small adjustments all in 14 seconds or less. The shudder of the tires as they spin for a second before they catch and the car takes off down pit road. The unmuffled rumble of the engine at idle and the high drone of it at speed. The way the walls flash by in a blur and the turns happen with hardly any input from her.

Then there’s the disdain in the faces of her team when she asks questions about the car, the changes from dirt tracks to asphalt. She may never stop blushing from the time she asked what was wrong with the alignment, why the car couldn’t drive straight in the straightaways.

“It’s built for banked tracks,” was all the explanation she got.

She was too embarrassed to even tell Peeta about that after she figured out what they meant.

Katniss doesn’t even know her crew chief’s real name. Everyone just calls him Titus. She misses the warmth found in the voice over the radio of someone who believes in her.

The garage feels almost forbidden, and any suggestions she makes for the car unwelcome. Met with hostile glances and subtle reminders that “Cato doesn’t like it that way.” Blatant jabs about having to recalculate weight distribution because they had to move the seat to accommodate shorter legs and a smaller frame.

Cato Chapman, the driver whose car she’s borrowing for a few months. Racing royalty, and she should be grateful for the honor of sticking her ass where his should be. Or at least, that’s what people keep insinuating.

She calls every night she’s gone. Sometimes Raven asks for a song. Other times she wants Katniss to listen while Peeta reads them both a bedtime story. He makes goofy voices, different for each character and one for the narrator. And somehow, he makes them both laugh.

The phone calls are wonderful, but they’re no replacement for holding Raven in her arms.

* * *

“How’s it going, Katniss? All ready for Saturday?” Ariana asks over the phone a few weeks before the season opener. Katniss leans back and watches Aunt Laverne and Raven twirling in the living room. Longing to join them, and unable to until she makes sure everything is squared away for the race.

“I think so,” she says.

“Great. The boys haven’t been giving you too much of a hard time, have they?”

“No worse than I was expecting,” Katniss admits and Ariana laughs.

“Hang in there. You’re tougher than them. Just remember how whiny men get when they have a cold.”

“Thanks,” Katniss says with a laugh.

* * *

“Why can’t Daddy and I go with you?” Raven asks with a pouty lip as Katniss drops her off at Peeta’s place.

“Because you’ve got school on Monday,” Katniss reminds her. “I won’t be back in time for that, so Daddy will take you home on Sunday and Grandma will drop you off at school, okay baby girl?”

Raven hugs her but then snatches her pillow and runs inside.

“I’ll talk to her. She’s still getting used to having you gone so much,” Peeta offers, but the words make her angry.

“Because you can fix anything, right?”

* * *

Tires squeal and metal crunches.

She can’t move her head. It’s encased in plastic and foam and latched at the neck to her seat. Safety equipment pins her in place and makes her reliant on someone else’s eyes. Someone she barely knows and doesn’t trust.

All she sees is smoke.

“Am I clear?”

No answer.

“Am I fucking clear?”

“Whoa! Don’t get your panties in a twist. Go high and you should be fine. Sheesh.”

She makes it to the end of the race. Through a few soundbite interviews that no one will see. To the trailer that is supposedly her home at the track before she breaks down in the shower.

* * *

“You’re doing great, Katniss. Exactly what we wanted,” Ariana assures her and offers her some kind of berry-acai fruit blend drink that Katniss nearly chokes on.

“I haven’t finished above twenty-fifth,” she says and Ariana crosses her legs, tilts her head.

“But you’ve finished every race so far. Trust me, you’re already proving them wrong.”

“Who?” Katniss asks but Ariana asks how Raven’s doing with all the changes and attention and if Katniss will be bringing her to the track anytime soon.

* * *

They get into an argument about tires. Fucking tires. She insists the right rear is about to go.

“It feels wrong.”

“It’s got at least a dozen more laps on it.”

She grinds her teeth and ignores the comment over the radio from someone on the pit crew, asking if anyone else wants to “share their feelings.”

The tire blows two laps later and she flips Titus off as she leaves the pits with a fresh set and her right rear quarter panel stripped away.

* * *

“Hey,” his voice is heavy with sleep and she curls in on herself. Wraps her arms around her middle. “Raven’s already asleep.”

“Figured she would be. I’m sorry to wake you.”

“No, it’s fine. What’s up?”

“Nothing. I just…”

“You just had a rough night with an asshole crew chief and had to communicate your displeasure with him.”

“Shit. You saw that?”

Peeta laughs and the sound warms her down to her toes.

“Anyone watching on TV saw that, Katniss.”

“God that’s just what I need. They already hate me.”

“He should have listened to you. A good crew chief learns his driver’s strengths and weaknesses. Knows when to listen and when to tell the driver to piss off and drive.”

Now it’s Katniss’ turn to laugh. “So how do you know he should have listened to me?”

“Because you’re a helluva instinctual driver, Katniss. When you’re behind the wheel, it’s like you become a part of the car. She’s an extension of your feet and hands and you can feel her thrumming through your blood. If she tells you something’s wrong...something’s wrong. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.”

She lays there and lets his words sink in, the first kind words she’s heard about her driving in weeks. Listens to the sound of him breathing over the line. Wishing for him to hold her, the way he did the day they dropped Raven at her first day of preschool.

“I should get some sleep,” she says as she shakes off the wish for something that’s an illusion.

* * *

“Prim has news!” Aunt Laverne says and Katniss ducks out of the garage to block out some of the noise. Maybe she’ll get better reception outside.

“I got into college! Charleston!”

“That’s great news! I’m so proud of you, Prim.”

“Oh my gosh, I have so much to do! I think I’ll live on campus. Then I can just use the campus dining halls, bus system! I have got to get these housing forms filled out so I get a room and don’t get stuck on the waiting list. Peeta can you help me with that? Orientation is in July and then… Move in date is in the middle of the week in August, so maybe you can be there?”

She stands in the hot afternoon sun, unsure at first who Prim is talking to.

“...Katniss? Think you can take me to college?”

“I’ll try to, Prim.”

“Eeeeek! I’m so excited!”

* * *

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!”

She ignores the shouting in one office and keeps walking straight to Ariana’s.

“Katniss! Just the woman I wanted to see,” Ariana says with a grin, shuffling papers on her cluttered desk. “I’ve already called Haymitch to sort out details, but I have good news. Great news. Cato Chapman just landed his hot head in deep water. Can’t say that I’m surprised. He always was a loaded cannon.”

“What exactly does a fourth generation racing legend have to do to land in hot water?” Katniss asks as a handful of men stomps past Ariana’s door, a few spouting colorful swears.

“DUI. Wrecked a brand new Viper and cost a couple thousand dollars of damage to city property. He’s just lucky he didn’t kill anyone. He’ll be in rehab for at least four months. Which means I can now offer you a two month extension on your contract.”

* * *

“Maybe...maybe you should bring Raven one weekend.”

“The real question is why you’ve been putting it off.”

“She’s been in school. I didn’t want to wear her out gallivanting from one track to the next.”

“That it?”

“Aunt Laverne, this has been hard enough without you doing your weird mind reading, reverse psychology shit on me.”

“That bad, baby girl?” Katniss can hear the sounds of supper preparation in the background. Prim laughing and chatting to Raven. Aunt Laverne clanking pots on the stove and ordering Peeta away from the oven. His protests that he needs to check on the cake before it burns.

“The only reason I haven’t punched one of them yet is because the headline would read something about women being too emotional for racing.”

“Never mind that getting in a trackside brawl is almost a rite of passage for a male driver, right?” Peeta asks and Katniss laughs.

“Who cares if he can draft. Can he punch?” Aunt Laverne says in a snide voice.

“I’ve got it. You should make that move you pulled on Jethro when we were sixteen your trademark fight starter.”

“What move?” Prim asks.

“Oh it was great. She did this awesome spin, lift, and knee right to the nuts!” Aunt Laverne laughs and Katniss blushes at the realization that Peeta saw that too. “Then she put him in the wall during the race. On his side so he’d never forget the point.”

“He forgot anyways,” Katniss reminds him.

“To be fair, that was five years later.”

“Well no one ever called Jethro-Tull Pierce a smart cookie,” Aunt Laverne says. “Katniss, honey. I really like this fancy speakerphone you got us. Makes it feel more like you’re here.”

“Mommy, when are you coming home?” Raven asks and Katniss bites her cheek to stop the rise of guilt and wishful thinking.

“Couple of days, baby girl. Make sure you give Aunt Prim a huge birthday hug for me, okay?”

They sing “Happy Birthday” to Prim and then Katniss blows kisses before hanging up and stupidly crying into her pillow instead of getting herself some supper.

It’s only as she’s drifting off to sleep that something occurs to her. She has no idea when Peeta’s birthday is.

* * *

She taps her spoon on the table and cranes her neck as someone else walks in the door to the posh restaurant. Not Ariana. With a sigh, Katniss relaxes back into her seat. Ariana suggested girl talk over lunch, but she’s already ten minutes late and Katniss worries that she got the restaurant or the time wrong. Maybe she should call. Maybe it’s better if Ariana doesn’t show. Girl talk lunches with what amounts to your boss is probably a bad idea.

Yeah, it’s a bad idea, Katniss decides and stands up, her chair scrapes back and knocks into someone passing behind her.

“Oof!”

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” she says to the man bent over and clutching his knee. He laughs and waves off her apology.

“No, no, it’s my fault,” he says and stands up straight, gifting Katniss with a million dollar white smile. She’s stunned speechless by his familiar face. “I was in such a hurry to introduce myself that I forgot to watch out for race drivers exiting pit row. I’m Corbin Gloss.”

“I know who you are,” she says and his smile widens, something she didn’t think possible.

“Then that makes two of us. I’ve been dying to get a chance to talk to you, Katniss.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” he says and motions towards her table. “Can I impose on you? Or did you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh. No, just um...making a speedy exit for no good reason.”

He sits across from her, completely at ease and in place here in his tailored slacks, polo shirt with sunglasses tucked in the open collar, his cover shoot worthy smile and slicked back dirty blond hair.

“Practicing for pit row. Always a good idea.” She laughs a little and the waiter stops by. Corbin Gloss, Victor Cup champion racer, orders them wine and food, insisting that it will be on him. Small compensation for blocking her getaway. “I couldn’t help but notice that it looked like you were waiting for someone.”

“Ariana Snow-Waites,” Katniss explains and he chuckles softly. “Is that funny somehow?”

“Only because that’s who I was waiting to meet as well,” he explains. “Seems like she stood us both up.”

“Seems that way.”

“Listen, Katniss. I think I know what Ms. Waites is about. There’s a couple of paparazzi photographers outside this restaurant. I guarantee they’re taking pictures through the glass right now. So smile, enjoy your lunch. This could benefit us both. You and I have more in common than you know.”

* * *

“What do you get out of it?” she asks as they walk down the street towards where she parked her truck, still not sure what “it” is.

“Let’s leave that out of this for now. I rather enjoyed your company today.”

“Ah because low ranked rookie Tribute League drivers are so worth your time.”

He laughs and a small thrill goes through her. “You are, Katniss.”

* * *

She takes a detour into a shadowed area and celebrates with herself. She took the pole this week. Starting first. It might not mean anything in the grand scheme of things, but it makes her feel like maybe she’s showing them she belongs here.

Until she wanders into the garage to congratulate the crew on an awesome car and they have the hood up, working furiously.

“What’s going on?”

“Inspections came back saying we’re outside tolerance.”

She watches for a second while they work, slowly deflating all her earlier happiness. If they make the changes needed to bring her car within regulation then she loses the pole. Starts the race at the back of the pack. If they don’t, she’s disqualified and won’t race at all.

“‘Scuse me,” one of them says and she stumbles to the side so he can get into the tool box behind her.

Once more feeling that she’s just in the way, a nuisance, Katniss leaves them to it. For one petty moment, she wonders if they did it on purpose but shakes that off. There’s no way anyone could predict she’d have the best time in qualifying. Sometimes these things just happen.

* * *

“My daughter, Tammy. My two boys, Jensen and Dale.”

“Aw, they’re precious,” Katniss says and he nods, slides the picture back into his wallet.

“They’re my everything, but my ex-wife doesn’t think they should be.”

“Can I ask why not?” she asks as she sips her wine and leans her elbows on the pristine white cloth.

“A couple reasons. I’m gone all the time. I didn’t want them to feel...the pressures that I did growing up in this world--”

“Because of your father?”

“And his father. Four Victor Cup championships in the family was a lot to live up to. I didn’t want my sons to feel that they had to follow my footsteps unless they wanted to. Didn’t want them to feel as though they were living in someone else’s shadow like I did. So I kept them away from this as much as possible. To protect them. And that...put strains on all of our relationships.”

“I can understand that,” she whispers, thinking of how she’s kept Raven away from so much of this, almost afraid to expose her daughter to the rough and tumble world of racing where girls aren’t always welcome. She thinks about Gale and how when he excluded her from racing because she was pregnant, she felt isolated and cut off from a part of herself. She wonders now if maybe Gale felt the same way during those awful two years, cut off from her because of Raven and because he was trying to protect Katniss, even if it was misguided.

“So what about yours?” he asks and Katniss pulls a faded picture of Raven from her wallet to show him.

* * *

“Do you want a drink for the road?” Peeta asks as Raven charges up the stairs, feet pounding loudly. Katniss sets Raven’s bookbag on the kitchen counter and pulls out the bright green folder and a stack of crinkled artwork.

“Sure. Whatever you have that’s cold.” She has to stop looking through the papers to yawn.

“And caffeinated,” Peeta adds before returning with a can of some kind of cold brew espresso. “I can take care of that if you need to get going.”

“I got it,” Katniss says and opens the folder to read the teacher notes for today. She had to bring Raven straight from school or risk being late for her practice slot this evening. She signs the block for today and shoves the folder back in as Raven pounds her way back downstairs.

“Oh!” Raven says and snatches some of the drawings from Katniss’ hand. “These are for Daddy. Can we hang them on the fridge?”

“Sure thing, pumpkin,” he says and helps her arrange magnets to hang what is clearly a drawing of their family. Katniss, Raven, Aunt Laverne, Prim, and Peeta. One of just Raven and Peeta together, in a field of flowers with butterflies fluttering around their heads. There are new photographs on the fridge, too. From the Atlanta Aquarium, Raven running through a sprinkler. Sitting on Peeta’s shoulders, and Katniss wonders who took that one.

“Now you have all of us on the fridge!” Raven says. “Mommy, there’s one for Grandma’s house too. Daddy’s not on our fridge there. See?”

Katniss glances down, at the drawing Raven hands her and bites her cheek. This one is of just Katniss and Peeta, and a race car. Huge smiles on their faces.

“These are great, Raven. Thank you,” Peeta says and Raven sighs dramatically.

“It’s a lot of work drawing for two fridges. Maybe one day, I’ll only have to cover one!” She skips out to the living room and starts rummaging in the toy bin.

Peeta coughs and scratches the back of his neck. His eyes flick towards Katniss and then away. “Guess she doesn’t know about your boyfriend.”

“I hadn’t told her.”

* * *

“So. How do you like Corbin?” Ariana asks when she stops by to check on Katniss Saturday morning.

“He seems...nice.”

“Oh honey, he’s more than nice. That, my dear, is your ticket to Victor’s Cup. Play nice, get a win, and we might have an opening up there for you next season.”

The conversation leaves a foul taste in her mouth and she’s distracted during the race. An early wreck takes her out of contention, although she manages to finish.

* * *

“Ah there she is,” Haymitch says and motions for Katniss to follow him into his office. “I’ve been watching the tabloids, Sweetheart. You’ve got quite the romance going, don’t you. How’s that sit with your baby daddy?”

“It’s not a romance,” Katniss protests, but the cheap newspapers that Haymitch drops on his desk with a raised eyebrow suggest otherwise. She shakes her head. “Peeta and I...aren’t together.”

“So this is some sort of angle to get Snow White to put the kid on your racing team? Get yourself a permanent contract? Move you up faster? You play her game, she gives you what you want?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I’m so far out of my depth here. I guess I’m trying to figure out if I’d be breaking my contract by refusing to see him. I remember something about PR stunts or whatever.”

“Well allow me to provide some illumination, since I’ve got nothing better to do than to help you sort through your boy troubles,” Haymitch says and sits in his chair, props his feet on the desk, and cracks open one of the tabloids. “Corbin Gloss, son of three time Victor Cup champion Hezekiah Gloss Jr, grandson of Victor Cup champion Hezekiah Gloss Sr. Well so far we know your boy dodged a bullet on the name train.”

“He’s not my boy, and I’m aware of his ancestry.” Katniss says and Haymitch hums.

“Here’s the deal, Sweetheart. There’s nothing explicit in your contract that says you have to date him, kiss him, fuck him, or even like him. Your wardens -- sorry benefactors -- might be able to claim that they arrange public appearances with him for PR purposes and if you back out, get you that way. Contractually, it’ll amount to a slap on the wrist. What you need to be more concerned with is the fact that this asshole is basically racing royalty. You screw him over, he can end your racing career hopes and those of anyone you’ve ever so much as said “Fuck off” to, got it?”

* * *

“She’s loose in the turns,” Katniss says and works the wheel back.

“Copy that,” Titus says and passes on orders to the pit crew for their next stop.

There are no snide comments tonight. As she peels out of her pit box, she swears that stop went faster than usual.

“Good job, boys. Twelve point two on that stop,” Titus tells them. Several of them cheer. “Now it’s up to you, Everdeen.”

There’s no huge celebration when she speeds beneath the waving checkers. Only grudging acknowledgement that a few of her more spectacular passes made it possible. Tenth place is her season best.

Bursting with excitement, she calls the first person she knows she wants to share it with. Peeta and Raven start yelling happily into the phone before she can even finish saying “Hello.” When she hangs up, she can’t figure out why she’s crying.

* * *

“Does it have to be so...public?” she asks as they walk down Daytona Beach, in the shadows of the track. They’ve run into several fans and she’s spotted at least one reporter snapping pictures of them from the dunes.

“You talked to your lawyer.”

“Can you fault me?”

“No. I’d be concerned if you hadn’t. You’re a smart woman, Katniss. And a very talented driver. You’ll go far with or without my help.”

“You can just make it happen faster and less painfully?”

“How’s Titus treating you?” he asks with a smile.

“See that’s exactly what I was trying to avoid.”

“Getting help?”

“Standing on someone else’s legacy instead of my skill. I thought you would understand that.”

“Good point. I’ll back off on interference with your race team.”

“You still haven’t told me what you get out of it.”

“Remember that strain on my marriage that I told you about? My wife had an affair because of it.”

“How does fake dating me help you with that?”

“She owns two racing teams. Inherited them from her father. She says I cheated on her first.”

“Did you?”

“No. Never.”

Her steps falter on the sand as a sudden image rises up in memory, bringing all the bile and shame and fury of the past with it. “I’m sorry. My...the boy I married when I was sixteen had a few affairs and...ultimately that’s what tore us apart.”

“I told you we had more in common than you thought. But of course, nobody believes me. As a result, I see my kids maybe three times a year. We’re in the middle of a small custody battle. Judge claims I’m erratic and irresponsible.”

“So fake dating me makes you look stable?”

“That’s what I’m hoping for. I’m not looking for drama, Katniss. When we’ve both gotten what we need, it ends neatly. Sound fair?”

It could sound worse.

* * *

Raven wakes first and climbs on top of Katniss in her bed.

“Mommy,” she whispers. “I want to see where you work.”

“Alright, baby girl. Just let me get dressed, okay?”

They talk quietly as Katniss dresses in shorts and a t-shirt, fixes her braid and grabs a few biscuits leftover from breakfast yesterday, smiling at Peeta asleep on the couch turned bed. The trailer is crowded this week, but Katniss likes that they’re all here.

“We should leave Daddy a note so he knows where we are,” Raven whispers. They scribble a quick one and tape it to his chest before leaving the trailer, hand in hand.

They start at the top, where the spotters stand, and watch the sun as it finishes rising. Pink covers the horizon then slowly shifts to purple then blue. Raven wants to see everything. The press boxes. Pit row. The start-finish line. She has a hundred questions and fires them at Katniss almost faster than she can answer as they dart around the track, laughing and enjoying their time together. Katniss feels like she hasn’t gotten to just have fun with Raven in ages and soaks it in like the warm rays of the early morning sun.

“How fast is your car? How come you wear that helmet that hides your face? Are you friends with the other drivers? How do you go to the bathroom during a race? Why does the steering wheel come off? Isn’t that dangerous?”

Eventually, they make their way to the garages and Katniss shows Raven her car, hoists her into the seat and reminds her not to flip any switches. Raven pretends to drive for a moment then stands up on the seat and leans on the window.

“Is this where Daddy would work? If he were on your team?”

“Yes, baby girl. This is exactly where Daddy would work,” Katniss says. “See those tool boxes over there?”

“Ooooh. Those are fancy.” Katniss laughs and lifts Raven out of the car to show her the shiny tools inside.

“Now these aren’t mine, so we look but don’t touch.”

Raven names a few of the tools and Katniss lifts one eyebrow at her daughter. Raven preens happily. “Daddy lets me work with him on Al-imony too sometimes.”

Before Katniss can ask when or why Peeta’s been working on Alimony, someone joins them.

“Am I interrupting?” Katniss turns, startled to find Corbin Gloss in her garage.

“Um, I suppose not.”

“You must be Raven. Your Mommy has told me all about you.” Raven hides behind Katniss’ leg and peeks around her mother’s hip.

“Mommy. Not ‘sposed to speak to strangers.”

“I’m a friend of your Mommy’s.”

“He’s one of the other drivers,” Katniss says at the same time Gloss speaks. Raven’s eyes dart between the two of them and she pokes her hand out but doesn’t move from her hiding place.

“Hi Mommy’s driver friend.”

* * *

“So I guess that makes you two official,” Aunt Laverne says as Raven tells Peeta all about her morning with Mommy. Katniss ignores the comment and braids her hair. Sounds from the gathering crowd trickle in through the open window. “Katniss, honey...you need to be careful.”

“This is the last time Raven comes to the track,” Katniss whispers and Laverne sighs.

“That isn’t the answer.”

“It is if they expect me to allow my daughter to get embroiled in a PR stunt. I don’t care how rich and famous he is. I won’t let them use her that way. None of this is worth it if it hurts Raven.”

“You have no idea how happy she was to come here. She’s going to want to do this again.”

“We can’t always get what we want,” Katniss says and heads towards her room in the back. Laverne follows and shuts the door so Katniss can change into her fire suit.

“And what about Peeta?”

“What about him?” Katniss asks and Laverne sighs.

“Nothing.”

* * *

“Daddy and I made something for you,” Raven says and Katniss kneels on the hot asphalt to watch as Raven pulls something from her pocket. A gold, heart shaped locket. Her little fingers struggle to open it and finally it spreads to reveal a picture of Raven on one side. Aunt Laverne and Prim on the other.

“Oh, thank you, baby girl,” Katniss says and moves to secure it around her neck. Then hugs Raven close, stands with her in her arms and buries her face in Raven’s hair. “Now you’ll be with me whenever I drive.”

“Good luck kiss!” Raven says and smacks one on Katniss’ cheek. She returns it, two on Raven’s dimple as the shouts from the crowd pick up a little. Not as thick or loud as it will be on Sunday during the Victor’s Cup race, but loud enough to excite a five year old.

Katniss hands Raven over into Peeta’s arms and moves to climb into the car.

“Wait! Daddy, you have to kiss Mommy’s other cheek! We don’t want her uneven!”

Her stomach twists in knots as Peeta tries to explain to Raven why that’s not a good idea.

“Engine needs to be balanced!” Raven insists, crossing her arms and scowling at Peeta. “Remember, Daddy?”

“I can’t argue with the expert,” he says. Then whispers before softly pecking Katniss on her other cheek, “Kick some ass.”

Then he smothers Raven with kisses that make her giggle and distract Katniss from the awful feeling in her chest.

* * *

She climbs from the car and can’t stop the smile so wide that her cheeks hurt. She leaves the helmet on to hide it from the world, along with the tears leaking out of her eyes. Standing in the window, leaning on her roof, she searches the infield and finds the hot pink and black scarves Aunt Laverne made for them to wave. She blows a kiss towards them and then turns to accept the checker flag.

Wins are currency in this world, steady ground to make demands from. She needed this.

She needs the soft contentment later that night as Raven lays in her arms and drifts to sleep.

What she doesn’t need is the picture of Gloss kissing her after the race juxtaposed with the picture of Peeta kissing her cheek before it splashed across the tabloids and all the racing shows on TV. Or the insinuations that she’s a hussy, sleeping her way into the boys’ club.

* * *

“It would’ve been nice to know that you’re seeing someone else.”

“I’m not seeing Peeta. He’s Raven’s dad. I’m not even seeing you. Not really.”

“I was thinking we should change that.”

“Why the hell would we do that?” She still can’t decide how she feels about him kissing her. It was unexpected and fast. Hard, and over before she knew it had started.

“You and I could still help each other quite a bit.”

It’s cold in this room and Katniss holds her jacket tight around her body.

“I don’t expect you to fall in love with me, Katniss. But you and I could have something special and unique.”

“Why do I feel like there are strings to this deal?”

“This guy can’t be kissing you randomly. He needs to disappear quietly.”

“ _This guy_ is Raven’s father. They mean the world to each other.”

“If I recall correctly, he wasn’t even part of her life until about a year ago. Deadbeat dads don’t change.”

“It wasn’t like that. I won’t ask him to walk away.”

“If he knows what’s best for you and Raven, he’ll do it on his own.”

* * *

She wanders out to the garage after putting Raven to bed. Sits on Alimony’s hood and stares at the changes Peeta’s made. Nothing drastic, just maintenance that’s been needing to get done for years. He cleaned the place up, added a few lights to brighten the space. Cleaned and sealed the floor so oil and fluids will be easier to clean up, won’t leave stains. The place looks almost professional. Her dad’s old tool chests cleaned up, polished, repainted.

When has he found the time to do all of this, she wonders. Even Alimony looks almost pristine. Like she’s ready to hit the dirt tracks on Friday night.

She still hasn’t told him about what Corbin Gloss said to her. Keeping Raven away from the tracks, and Peeta by proxy, is the easier way to deal with the problem.

“She looks good, doesn’t she?” Katniss startles at Prim’s voice but relaxes when she sees her. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“My baby sister is going to college tomorrow.”

“I know!” Prim squeals and sits on the hood next to Katniss. “I couldn’t sleep either!”

“Are you scared?” Katniss asks after they lean on one another for a moment.

“Maybe a little. But I know that I have loving family to help me pick myself up if I screw it up. You, Mama L, Peeta. Raven’s already drawn pictures for me to hang on my fridge.”

Katniss chuckles, but feels a strange twinge in her gut. When did Peeta become part of Prim’s family? She knows he’s been around, mainly for Raven and to help Aunt Laverne, but she didn’t realize he’d worked his way so firmly into Prim’s heart, too. She shakes it off and focuses back on Prim.

“Just don’t screw it up too much, Duck.” Prim giggles at their dad’s old nickname for her.

“No one has called me that in years,” she says and they both fall silent. Breathing in the fumes of the garage for a moment until Prim takes a deep breath. “Peeta did a really good job with her, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Katniss murmurs. “He might have to again if I can’t get another contract extension soon.”

“Do you want that contract?” Prim asks and lifts her head slightly. “I mean, Corbin seems nice, but…”

“But what?”

“You could do better, Katniss. You don’t seem...happy around him.”

“Happiness is overrated. I just never want to be splitting cash into envelopes and deciding if I can buy Raven shoes or if I need to pay the phone bill first.”

“Well I tried to help. I got them to pay for a third of my tuition with scholarships.” Prim bites her lip, a chagrined expression marring her fresh as morning dew beauty.

“Oh Duck. You going to college was always part of the plan, okay?”

* * *

“Katniss! Katniss! How do you feel about Cato Chapman’s return next week?”

“You don’t have to answer that,” Ariana mutters under her breath as they push their way through the crowds.

“Are you and Corbin Gloss eloping?”

She bites her tongue and keeps walking, grateful for the sunglasses hiding her eyes. Otherwise these reporters would draw some conclusions from her murderous glare, and she doubts they’d be correct.

“Ariana! Ms. Waites! Is there a spot at Snow Racing for Katniss after Cato takes back over the number 2?”

“We’re working on details right now. Katniss Everdeen is an important part of the Snow Racing family.”

“Katniss! Over here, Katniss!”

She’s focused on her goal, the end of this walk and the driver’s meeting to go over track rules, etiquette, notes for the race later today and weather conditions. But a small, dark brown hand hanging over the barrier catches her eye.

Black painted nails sparkling in the sunshine. The little girl watches her, hazel eyes wide as Katniss and Ariana approach. Her footsteps slow as she takes in the dark braid identical to her own and the mother standing behind the girl. Both of them wear hot pink shirts with the name _Katniss_ screen printed in beautiful black script, wings on the tips.

The girl stands up straighter and Katniss opens her mouth to say something, but Ariana’s hand on her back pushes her forward. Away from the young girl.

All through the driver’s meeting, she stares at her bare nails and searches her memory for the last time she painted them black. She can’t remember.

* * *

“Gentlemen! Start your engines!”

She takes one last look at the black polish on her nails and tugs her glove into place, grins as she flips the toggles to start the engine. If she’s going to race for the last time on asphalt today, she’s going to make sure it’s memorable.

It comes down to the wire, and she’s not even sure she’s won until Titus congratulates her on going out with style. She removes her glove before she accepts the flag and waves it once before allowing herself one quick burnout in celebration. No more than that because it’s no longer her car.

She smiles through all the Victory Lane interviews and pony show. As she walks away, needing to call home and hear Raven’s voice, Gloss calls out to her and she shakes her head.

“Katniss!”

She pauses and turns around, because they had an agreement, even if she never wanted any part of it. “Don’t make this messy, Corbin.”

He clenches his jaw and nods. The judge ruled in his favor, expanding his time with his kids. She knows this because she saw him with the three of them after practice yesterday. “So what’s next for you?”

“I guess I go back to the dirt for a little while,” she says and he lets out a small laugh, more a puff of disbelieving air.

“Somehow, I don’t think it’ll be for long.”


	4. YELLOW FLAG

“And this is where my math class is,” Prim says with wide arms. “Very exciting.”

“The real question to ask is where the parties are held,” Aunt Laverne mutters under her breath.

“We’re too old to party,” Katniss says.

“Speak for yourself,” Peeta says as Raven hangs upside down from his arms and giggles. He tickles her belly and she squirms, laughing uproariously. “College looks like a great place to find a date. Maybe I should have finished school.”

“You’re a Dad. You’re not supposed to be hunting for hot tail. You’re supposed to be serious. Dignified,” Katniss says, biting back a smile at Raven’s laughter.

“Unless it’s to tell really corny jokes,” Prim adds.

“Will you be all ears for my jokes?” he asks and Prim groans. Aunt Laverne laughs. Katniss scowls.

“Ha! Ha!” Raven says. “Get it, Mommy? Because corn has ears!”

Prim continues the tour and Peeta continues with the dad jokes. The day is wonderous, the sky a gorgeous blue, dotted with puffy white clouds. A soft, warm September breeze making the humidity tolerable.

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” Raven says and Peeta takes a breath. Katniss slaps her hand over his mouth and scowls at him.

“Don’t say it.” She can feel him smiling under her palm, his lips brushing against her skin. She shivers and yanks her hand back.

“Nice to meet you, Hungry--”

“Ugh stop! I regret this already!”

“-- I’m Dad.”

“You should have regretted this about twenty jokes back,” Katniss mutters to Prim, but she’s smiling stupidly as Peeta has to explain the joke to Raven.

Prim takes them to one of her favorite places to eat, and before Katniss is ready to go, open house day is gone. She watches Aunt Laverne talking to Prim next to the truck. Peeta helps Raven with her belts. All around them, families hug their loved ones. Some of them are about the same age as Katniss and Peeta. Students with an entire bright future in front of them. Kids who probably don’t know the struggles of raising a child or making decisions on how to split the paycheck. How to make it to the next one.

Seeing their happy faces strengthens her resolve. Prim will finish school. Somehow. It’s Katniss’ job to make sure the money doesn’t run out. She hugs her sister and kisses her temple, tells her to study hard and have fun. That she loves her.

 

* * *

 

He’s already out in the garage, hood up and a socket wrench clicking rhythmically when she walks in after a long shift at the mill. She drops her jacket over one of the work benches and rolls up her sleeves as she comes to stand next to him.

“So what are we doing today?”

“Uh...undoing, actually.”

“Undoing?”

“Something that lady at Snow Racing said to you stuck with me. That I didn’t have the kind of experience they were looking for.”

“What’d you do? Alter Alimony to be a stock racer so you could practice on her?”

“Sort of…” His eyes dart off to the side and she stares at an entire engine block and transmission assembly sitting on a dolley. “It’s um...been in my house in Panem for the past few months, but if you’re going back to the dirt, then I need to get it back in her.”

“So what’s that?” she asks and points to the engine currently inside Alimony. Now that she’s getting a good look at it, it is a little too shiny and polished and...angled differently.

“A 385 cubic inch, 850 horsepower push rod V8. Four speeds with no synchro. Built it myself,” he says sheepishly.

“How’d you pay for that?”

“I’ve been clipping coupons.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Donald floated me a couple customization jobs and let me keep most of the profits. Also let me use the garage to machine some of the parts.”

Katniss leans towards him and smiles. “Did you drive her?”

“Well...I had to make sure it worked,” he says and Katniss laughs.

“You’re lucky you didn’t get a speeding ticket or worse,” she says and Peeta shakes his head.

“How would they catch me in this bad bitch?”

“This isn’t exactly a subtle paint job. Everyone around here knows who she belongs to.” And the car isn’t street legal with her normal dirt track racing configuration, let alone with this beast in her belly.

“I promised old man Cray ten cases of beer if he’d shut down a twenty mile stretch on highway thirty-eight for an hour one night. Had half of the Panem County Sheriff’s Office watching and drinking, clocking her. A good time was had by all.” She laughs again, and it feels good. So impossibly good to be laughing with Peeta again while standing over an engine needing work.

“I almost wish I’d been here for that. How’d she go?”

“Like a bat outta hell. I think I stripped some of her paint.”

“It’s a hell of a rush, isn’t it?” she asks and he nods, smiles at her. 

“I can see the appeal.” Something flutters in her chest as his cheek dimples. 

“So how can I help?”

 

* * *

“Don’t forget your lunch!” She shouts after a running Raven as she picks up the ringing phone. “And you left your tail! Hello?”

There’s a flabbergasted moment of silence and Katniss repeats the greeting.

“Oh, hello. May I speak with Katniss Everdeen?”

“This is she,” Katniss says as Raven runs back in the kitchen and snatches up the tail for her fox costume for her class play later today, turns so Katniss can pin it in place. “Right shoe is untied, baby girl. Don’t wiggle too much or I might stab your butt.”

“Ah, is this a bad time?”

“How long will it take?”

Whoever it is takes a deep breath and spews out words so fast that Katniss is sure she’s imagining things. “My name is Mesalla Kay. I work for Plutarch Heavensbee of Heavensbee Motorsports. We’d like you to come race for us. Would you be available for a practice session and potentially a contract signing next week?”

She stares dumbly at the wall and Raven tugs on her shirt. “Mommy! Gonna be late.”

“Aunt Laverne! I need you to come get a phone number from this man so I can take Raven to school.”

“I am in my curlers still!”

“Heavensbee Motorsports! On the phone right now!” she shouts and sets the phone on the counter.

“Holy smokes!”

Laverne runs into the kitchen as Katniss and Raven run out the door. “Tell him I’ll call him back in thirty minutes!”

 

* * *

A whole year. 

They want her to finish this season in one car for a driver who was moved up to Victor’s Cup to fill for an injured driver. But the contract outlines an entire year with them next season, with the option to expand up to five years. A sponsor already lined up and a crew chief selected. All she’ll need for next year is the car and the crew itself.

She shares a look with Haymitch and he nods. Sitting straight in her chair, Katniss meets the eyes of Plutarch Heavensbee. It’s difficult to be sure when he’s got a cigar in his mouth and is squinting through the cloud of smoke rising up around him.

“My dirt track crew chief. Peeta Mellark. I want him on my team next year.”

“On your team how?”

“Garage crew, if possible. Pit crew if not. Here,” She slides the stack of 12 by 18 glossy pictures across the table. “His portfolio.”

Plutarch spreads a few of them out on the dark cherry surface. Mesalla leans in and looks at the pictures. So does Mitchell, who will be her new crew chief starting now and continuing into next season. Mesalla taps one of the before and afters on a custom job Peeta did last month. Mitchell whistles and snatches up Alimony Two, which is what Peeta and Raven were calling Alimony with her bulked up engine.

“Where’d he get this?”

“Built it himself,” she says and tastes triumph as Mitchell’s eyebrow lifts.

“Did it run?”

“Clocked at 180. I’ve got the phone number for Panem County’s Sheriff if you’d like to verify.” Mesalla chuckles.

“Boss, I think maybe we oughta consider this. At least bring the guy in for an interview,” Mitchell says behind his hand, but Katniss still hears him.

They talk quietly over the pictures. Katniss answers their questions as best she can.

“He’ll have to apply, just like everyone else,” Plutarch delivers the verdict. Mitchell looks slightly disappointed.

 

* * *

“It’s the best I could do, but they know your name and I’m sure they’ll give you an interview. Mitchell seemed really interested. He’ll be my crew chief. I’m sending you the application now.” She holds her phone between her ear and her shoulder and seals the envelope, carefully prints the address.

“At least they’re willing to consider it this time,” he says and then murmurs something to Raven.

“Haymitch didn’t alter this contract nearly as much, so I’m thinking these guys are more reasonable. And I brought your portfolio with me.”

“My portfolio?”

“The mess you have hanging on your living room wall. I had copies printed.”

“How did you--”

“Raven found your negatives for me.”

“Young lady, we need to discuss your snooping.”

“They were in a box on the shelf! Next to the movies, Daddy.”

“Hmmm. I think I need to find a better hiding place for my Oreos.”

“Too late!” Raven shouts and Katniss laughs.

“I better go before our daughter ruins her dinner.”

“Okay.”

“Call us tomorrow, tell us how practice goes?”

“I will.”

“And thank you, Katniss.”

“You’re my only real friend, Peeta. I don’t know if I can do a whole season of this again without you and Raven here with me.”

 

* * *

“And back on the track tonight is Katniss Everdeen. She filled in for Cato Chapman earlier this year and now she’ll be filling in for Bobby Wade. Katniss, how’s it feel to be back?”

“Great. I’m really excited to be racing again.”

“Now when you left us, you were still dating Corbin Gloss, I believe.”

“Corbin and I are still good friends, Caesar. There’s no animosity between us.”

 

* * *

“Another girl?”

“Shit. Is Heavensbee building a race team or a fucking harem?”

“At least this one’s hot. Mason just scared the shit outta me.”

“Shut it, Joe. Mason might be back down here in the weeds next year.”

“Fucking christ. They’ll wind up on the same cycle and wreck the cars.”

“Who’s her sponsor? Tampax? Vagisil? Victoria’s Secret?”

“At least then we’d get to see her tits.”

She ignores the whispers and holds her head high. She catches a brief glimpse of Cato Chapman smirking at her and wants to punch him. He should be thanking her for keeping his seat warm and his rankings respectable for most of the season. Her knee itches to smash their nuts. All of them, just like Peeta suggested. But trackside brawls will do her no good here. She’ll let her driving do the talking.

 

* * *

The world upends and all she hears is her own breathing over the microphone. The face shield on her helmet fogs over then clears. Again and again with each heavy breath. Then the horrendous crunch of metal on asphalt. Squealing. Smashing. 

The world finally stops rolling in front of her. Hidden in clouds of smoke. Her head feels like it’s rolling but she knows it’s not. She’s still strapped in. Five points across the chest. Her neck and head secured.

There’s swearing and chatter in her ear and then someone bellows for everyone to shut up.

“Thank you. You alright Everdeen?”

“I think so.”

“You’re right side up at least. Recovery and medical are on their way to you. Get the net down, sweetheart.”

“Right,” she says and fumbles with the window net, finally gets it down, the understood signal that she’s concious and moving.

There’s applause from the stands to her left. Which means the car is turned facing the wrong way. Hands reaching in to help her unstrap. Remove her steering wheel.

“Peeta?”

“Can you climb out?” A strange voice asks. He unhooks her Hans device and she nods. Grabs hold of his arm as he helps her from the car. More applause and she gives them a quick wave. Sways on her feet. “You want a stretcher?”

“No. I’m just a little dizzy.”

“Alright, let’s get you on the cart.”

She’s helped into the seat and slumps over as they drive her to infield care. Lights flash in her eyes and she blinks.

“Keep them open for me?” A gentle voice asks. She tries to comply. “Okay good. Now follow my finger. What’s your name?”

“Katniss Everdeen.”

“Okay Miss Everdeen. Where are you from?”

“Seam, Alabama.”

“Do you know what day it is?”

Twenty minutes later, she’s declared fine. No concussion. Maybe a bruised rib, but otherwise fine.

“Is there a phone I can use?” she asks the nurse before she leaves. Hers is in the trailer and she wants to call Raven now. As soon as possible. “I need to call my daughter.”

“Here,” he says with a soft smile and hands her the cell phone from his pocket. “You can borrow mine.”

She dials the number and faces the nearest wall so no one can see her expression. Plugs her other ear to drown out the sounds of the race still going on outside.

“Mommy!” Raven shouts over the line before Katniss even says a word. She can hear Peeta in the background asking if it’s Mommy then reminding Raven to let him get the phone next time.

“Hey baby girl, I’m fine,” Katniss says. Her voice is amazingly calm as tears stream down her face. She’s not even sure Raven hears her, she’s talking so fast and sounds so upset. The sounds coming from Raven’s mouth break Katniss’ heart.

“Katniss? Katniss is that you?” Peeta asks even as Raven keeps talking. They overlap one another. Her reassuring Peeta that she’s okay and him reassuring Raven.

Eventually Raven runs out of words, reduced to whimpers as Peeta speaks softly to her and Katniss cries. Speaks when she can. She imagines him cuddling their daughter, holding her in his arms and rocking her. She wishes she were in that embrace too.

When she finally hangs up, Katniss balks at the call time on the screen and quickly wipes her face clean before finding the nurse who loaned her his phone.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to use so much time. I can repay you.”

The nurse smiles at her, the expression reassuring. He has kind brown eyes and dark brown hair. “It’s fine, Miss Everdeen. There’s no need to repay me for anything. How’s your daughter?”

“Scared and upset, but I think she’ll be okay.”

“I can imagine she would be. Would you like a ride back to your trailer?”

“No, um. I think I’ll walk,” she says and he nods. But she notices the medical cart that follows her at a distance.

 

* * *

“They won’t even suspend him for one race?” Katniss asks and Mitchell nods.

“Afraid so, darling. All he got was a warning.”

“Cato caused that wreck! Deliberately!”

“Wrecks happen,” one of the garage crew says and slides under the car, the quick whir of a power tool cuts off any response she could make.

“Look,” Mitchell tries to placate her. “You and I both know it was a dirty hit. Much as I’d like you to take him out next week, your best bet is to play nice.”

“He didn’t.”

“No, but he’ll have to start if you don’t punch back. He does it again without provocation, they’ll have to suspend him then.”

“And in the meantime, we’ve wrecked another car,” Katniss says and Mitchell shrugs.

“Can’t be helped. Plutarch’s still building this company’s name in stock racing. He’s got a good footing in Indy, now he wants a stake over here, too. What he doesn’t want is a blood feud on the track, especially not one involving…”

“A girl?” she sneers and Mitchell at least has the decency to wince. He motions for her to step aside, away from the crew working to get the car ready to move. 

“You’ve got spunk, Katniss. The kind of fire Plutarch likes to see in his drivers. But you’ve also got a quiet kind of dignity. You’re unshakeable in the eyes of the audience. They like that. And Cato’s pissed that you did so well in his ride. He had a decent season last year, but he didn’t have a single win. You got two wins this season. In his car. With his crew. Oh and you’re a rookie.”

“So I bruised his ego?”

“Yep.”

“Pretty fragile ego if a couple of wins can bruise it.” Mitchell smiles at her.

“There’s the spunk, honey. Hold tight to that and don’t let him get to you.”

 

* * *

“That’s two cookies, Daddy!”

“Waff ‘ot,” he denies around a mouthful and Raven plants her hands on her hips to scowl at him. He swallows guiltily and hands her a second cookie. “Alright. Chefs get two cookies each. But no more until they’re done!”

“Oh those smell fantastic,” Laverne says as she enters the kitchen and slowly lowers herself into a chair with a sigh.

“Aunt Laverne,” Katniss says as she pours a glass of milk and holds a plate out for Peeta to place two cookies on it. “I was thinking you should retire from the pharmacy.”

“What? Why, baby girl?”

“Because my paycheck next year will take care of us just fine. Maybe more than fine if I get a few wins.”

“I’m not ready to retire,” she says as Katniss places the cookies and milk in front of her.

“Your old bones might be ready to retire before you are,” Katniss says. Laverne waves her off.

“I’m not that old yet. Move us to Charlotte for your fancy racing job and I’ll find something cushy there.”

“You could host lavish Gourmet Chef parties and make a fortune off wealthy ladies and gents who lunch and will never actually use your products. You’d never have to get out of your chair,” Peeta suggests with a wave of his oven mitt and a sweeping bow.

“You are a sassy young man.” Laverne twists up a kitchen towel and snaps it through the air at Peeta’s backside. Peeta yelps and Raven giggles. He clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. Katniss opens her mouth to ask him what’s wrong when Laverne asks something that stops her cold. “You never told me how that date of yours went last week.”

“Date?” Katniss asks.

“Not very well. There won’t be a second date, so forgive my pride for not sharing the details of that fiasco,” he says, his cheeks turning pink and his blue eyes meeting Katniss’ for just a second.

“I think I forgot to water the porch plants,” Katniss gasps out and quickly grabs a pitcher of water and hurries outside. The screen door swings silently shut behind her and makes her close her eyes. That door used to squeak horribly. She didn’t take care of that. Peeta must have.

She shakes her head and focuses on what’s in front of her.

The screen door might be silent, but his feet aren’t. His shoes scrape on the porch, and she can’t bring herself to look at him.

“Katniss--”

“These look like they’re dying. Maybe they need some Miracle Gro.”

Peeta sighs and she turns her head enough to see him brace his hands on the porch railing. “My mother set it up months ago. I had to keep rescheduling because she works nights except on weekends. When I had Raven.”

Months ago. When she was still seeing Gloss. “It’s not important.”

“It might be.”

“You can date whoever you want,” Katniss says. “I’m just concerned with how this affects Raven. What happens if it turns serious?”

“I wouldn’t spring someone on Raven without you meeting them first. I hope you’d extend the same courtesy to me.”

She cringes at the subtle jab over what happened with Gloss, but she agrees that it sounds fair. 

“You should date if you find someone who interests you. You’re still only twenty-two. Kind, thoughtful, generous, an amazing father. Any girl would be lucky to have you. And we aren’t...you and I aren’t...we’re...I was just caught off guard, that’s all.”

“What are we, Katniss?” he asks and she stares up at the porch ceiling. Picturing a thousand ways he’s made her life better. Flow more smoothly. How little he asks for in return. There’s one brief flash of a memory. His eyes in the night, lit with awe and desire. Otherworldly. Not real, she reminds herself. He doesn’t look at her like he did when they were sixteen anymore. Love like that is an illusion that dies and turns foul eventually.

“We’re a...we’re a team. Friends. Two people raising a child together.”

 

* * *

The skin is off the car as she wanders through the garages. The sky outside a murky gray. She sips her coffee and views the world through her sunglasses as she checks in with Mitchell and he points her towards the guys making last minute adjustments to the car. 

They don’t see her at first and she hovers, listening in. They had to rip out and refit the seat for her since she’s at least a foot shorter than the driver she replaced. One of them is in the seat, his legs threaded through the openings in the roll cage as he whines about short drivers making this shit difficult, his torso twisted so he can work on something on the panel. Probably fix the wiring that got knocked loose in practice.

She spent the night lost in dreams of her mother’s hollow eyes and Prim’s hollow cheeks. A constant pain in her chest at the remembrance of her mother’s abandonment and the things she had to do to keep her family alive and well. Haunted by the possibility of Raven suffering the same fate one day.

She has no time for bullshit and this scruffy looking dung heap of a mechanic has found the end of her patience.

“I can’t work under these conditions,” he whines. “When do we get a real driver again?”

“If you’re looking to switch teams, I hear the number 6 is hiring. If you’re lucky, they’ll pay you in sponsor product instead of cash. You could use it.”

She spins on her heel and marches out to silence. Someone drops a wrench and Mitchell snorts with laughter. She counts until she hears the guy shout in protest and the others burst into guffaws. 

Twelve seconds. Twelve seconds for him to connect the dots from number 6 to their sponsor...Viagra.

 

* * *

“Is this seat taken?”

Katniss stops rubbing her temple and glances up, absorbs the slow smile in a familiar face. The brown eyes.

“I -- no, it’s not.”

“May I?”

“Please,” she says. He sits and she scrambles for a name. All she can remember is his face and his kindness in loaning her his phone. “I’m sorry…”

“Thom. Thom Bradford. Infield care nurse,” he says and laughs at the face she makes. “It’s okay. I’d only be concerned if it was your own name you couldn’t remember.”

“That’s a relief. I do remember your face, and that you let me borrow your phone. Thank you for that by the way. At least let me buy you a coffee,” she says as the waitress shows up and Thom orders a coffee black, cream and sugar.

“I was happy to help. How’s your daughter taking the aftermath?”

“Better than I am,” she says and then shakes her head at his expression. “I mean, we were all a little shaken, but we’re okay. No weird symptoms or anything...I’m making this worse, aren’t I?”

He laughs and thanks the waitress as she brings his coffee. With just a few words, he could have her benched for medical reasons, and that makes Katniss nervous. 

“Well you’re making me want to give you a follow up or two. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Qualifying in the morning.”

“And in the evening?”

 

* * *

She wakes gasping for air and unable to move, still strapped in her seat with the world rolling around her. Awareness is slow to return. The harness becomes the sheets twisted around her legs. She groans and kicks to free herself, walks on silent feet to the window and cracks it open to allow some fresh air into her room in the trailer. The moon hangs low over the track, casting an otherworldly glow over the empty stands that surround her in a bowl. Her hands shake and she hugs herself to hide it.

Something is hollow inside her. Perhaps it always was. As she stares at her empty bed, she curses the lonely sheets and the nightmares she can’t seem to kick.

 

* * *

The loud noises at the mill stifle almost everything else. She’s learned to tune it out with the aid of hearing protection required by law. Something her dad didn’t have. The luxury of safety equipment.

Katniss may have signed a contract, but anything can happen on the track. Her heart wanted to drop this back breaking job but her head said to stay just a little longer. To hoard as much money as possible. At least until they find a house in North Carolina.

Her mind is split between work and thinking through everything she still needs to take care of. She’s not ready for the tap on her shoulder and jumps. Confused when her shift manager motions for her to head up to the office.

“Phone call for you, Everdeen,” he says and waves towards the phone when they’ve got the door shut, muffling most of the mill noise.

“Hello?”

“Miss Everdeen, this is Ms. Franklin, Raven’s teacher.”

 

* * *

Raven sits in a hard plastic chair inside the office, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. A hole torn in her jeans and blood crusted over a large scrape. Her face is dirty, the grime washed clean in streaks where her tears fell.

“Raven, baby are you okay?” Katniss asks as she hurries towards her daughter.

“Miss Everdeen, the principal would like to speak with you first.”

She glares at the secretary and kisses Raven on the head. “I’ll be right back. I love you, baby girl.”

Raven sniffles and doesn’t look up at her.

“Thank you for coming in Miss Everdeen,” Anthony Thread waves towards the seat in front of his desk and Katniss sinks into it, keeping her face stony. “I’m sure Ms. Franklin already told you that Raven hit another student at recess today.” Katniss nods. “We’re concerned with her level of aggression. School yard fights aren’t normal in kindergarten.”

“What did the other kid do?”

“Excuse me?”

“Raven wouldn’t hit another person unless they gave her reason to. What did they do to her?”

“Nothing, as far as I’m aware.”

“Did you ask Raven?”

“Well no...It’s possible that living with a broken family and a mostly absent mother has--”

“Broken family?”

“Her father does not reside with you? You are unmarried? Divorced, I believe?”

Katniss grips the edge of the chair and grabs hold of her anger. Of her desire to punch this asshole in the mouth for making assumptions about their family life.

“I am unmarried. Raven spends weekends when I am gone with her father in Panem.”

“As I said, a broken family life--”

“Nothing about our family is broken. Peeta is not the person I was married to and then divorced but he is an equally present parent to Raven.”

“You compete in a sport known for aggressiveness and violent fights on occasion.”

“Fights that Raven has never once seen me engage in so I fail to see how that is relevant.”

“Perhaps then you need to speak with her father--”

“About what?”

“Sometimes this rage in such a young child is a result of mistreatment at home.”

“Okay. I’ve heard enough. Peeta would never lay a hand on Raven. And you asking me these things is both insulting and ridiculous. Like this isn’t a tiny town and your father wasn’t the principal here before you and your brother isn’t the principal at the high school and hasn’t been for at least ten years. So you’ve already made up your mind about me, my daughter, and think you already know the answers to all your asinine questions based on nothing more solid than barside gossip.” She stands and the principal asks where she’s going. “To ask my daughter what happened at recess today. You are interested in dispensing fair punishment, yes?”

“We try to,” Mr. Thread says and folds his hands on his desk.

“Then I’m going to do your job and get the other side of the story.”

She breezes past the secretary and sits in the chair next to Raven. Waits silently until her daughter leans towards her and then wraps her arms around her. Raven’s small frame shakes and Katniss smooths over her hair. Drops soft kisses on her scalp and ignores the principal watching her.

“I asked him to stop, Mommy,” she chokes out and Katniss tightens her hold on her daughter. “He kept following me and singing that song. I don’t like that song. He wouldn’t stop pulling my braid and then he pushed me and I fell! So I -- I punched him!”

“Oh honey,” Katniss coos and pries one of Raven’s hands free. She scowls at the scrape marks on her palms, where she must have caught herself on the playground. Bits of asphalt still cling to the broken skin and Katniss glares up at the principal, jerks her head towards the wounds on her daughter’s hands. He at least looks embarrassed.

“What’s the song about?”

 

* * *

“I’d like to get my hands on that pompous asshole principal. And that bratty kid and his gossiping two-bit parents,” Aunt Laverne mutters, pots clanging loudly as Katniss opens the fridge to get a juice and a yogurt for Raven.

“Oh believe me, Raven wasn’t the only Everdeen about to punch someone in that school today,” Katniss says and then sighs. Rubs her temple as the fridge door swings shut and she stares at the mosaic of pictures and drawings covering the surface. “Are they right? Am I a homewrecking whore?”

“Honey without you, there wouldn’t be a home here.”

“But Gale…”

“Gale was already fooling around before you married him.”

“But so did I. I mean, we broke up but then…” she stares at Peeta’s smiling face on her fridge and her stomach flips once before settling back in place. “All it took was one night.”

“Sometimes good things come from bad decisions, baby girl. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad decision to fall in love with that boy. Even for just one night.”

“Maybe. Doesn’t change the fact that I almost knew in my heart she wasn’t Gale’s, even before she smiled and that damn dimple gave it away. But I married him anyways and let him believe she couldn’t be anyone’s but his. Doesn’t change the fact that I kept Raven from her real father for four years and then tried to lie to him about her to keep him away from her for longer.”

“You are the worst liar in the world if that was your goal.” Katniss snorts and melts a little as Aunt Laverne’s arms wrap around her from behind.

“Nothing’s changed. They still call me a slut here. And my mistakes are starting to haunt my baby now.”

“They’re gonna call you that no matter where you go or who you do or don’t sleep with, baby girl. Best you can do is hold that chin up, raise your girl to be strong and brave. Give her a bigger view of the world, live your life the best you can, and hand them their asses on a checkered flag when you beat them on the track.”

Katniss smiles and her eyes prick with tears. A low rumble announces someone’s arrival in their driveway and Aunt Laverne releases her.

“Speak of the devil,” she says and Katniss swipes at her cheeks. “So. How do you want to tell him about Raven getting in a fight today?”

“Like mother, like daughter?” Katniss suggests and Aunt Laverne laughs.

“Don’t give the poor man a heart attack just yet. He promised to get that dead stump removed from the backyard for me so we can plant a new tree.”

 

* * *

She’s been looking for her ever since she got back. The girl with hazel eyes, a dark braid, black nails, and Katniss’ name on her shirt. Every track, every race, Katniss’ eyes scan the crowd. She’s not sure she didn’t imagine the girl. There’s no sign of her.

 

* * *

The car jolts and Mitchell tells her to hang tight. “Five to go.”

“Remind me why I can’t just leave this asshole in the dust? I have a faster car.”

“Yeah you do,” one of pit crew says happily and she smiles.

“Fuel conservation. He’s about to run out and you’re not. If you go much faster, I can’t guarantee you'll make it to the end.”

The car jolts again and she glares at the front of his car in her mirror, wishes looks could kill because then Cato Chapman would drop dead behind the wheel. “He’s trying to force a yellow.”

“Exactly. He’s banking on his pit crew being faster than yours.”

Another jolt and she grits her teeth. Amazed that she’s got any enamel left on the crowns. “All this for sixth place?”

“Fuck. Damnit. Shit,” someone says.

“Yellow flag. Debris on the track. Let's prove him wrong,” Mitchell says and tells the crew to knock it off and get ready. “Right side and gas.”

She locks the brakes coming in and grips the wheel as the car screeches to a halt. Bodies pour over the wall. The right side lifts and she hears the quick five notes of lugnuts being removed. A pause and a thunk as the new tire is seated. Five notes of lugnuts tightened.

“Ready. Ready,” the car drops and Mitchell yells, “Go!”

She smashes the gas and flies out of the box to loud cheers on the radio.

 

* * *

Unable to sleep, she sits on the couch, a notebook in her lap as she scribbles down as much as she can remember about the early years of Raven’s life. Peeta’s been asking more questions about that time. Aunt Laverne has already pulled out stacks of pictures to show him, but Katniss can provide some of the stories she can’t. Like how Raven’s first smile was at a bright orange butterfly. Or how she’d wriggle and sigh in her sleep. How warm she felt against Katniss’ bare chest as Raven nursed. How comforting and panic inducing those nights were. The comfort found in loving someone so completely and the panic at the awesome responsibility of holding that someone’s very life in your hands.

She writes into the night, avoiding the sounds of crashing metal and the rolling, smoke filled earth that greet her most nights these days. The crushing loneliness she feels being away from Raven and the rest of her family. She stares out the window at the track and wonders why she’s still doing this instead of being at home with her baby girl.

Her new cell phone buzzes on the table and she answers as soon as the name pops up on screen.

“Peeta? Is Raven okay?”

“Yeah, she’s okay. I’m sorry we’re calling so late.”

“It’s okay. I couldn’t...couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh? What’s keeping you up?”

“Nothing. You said ‘we’?”

“Raven, honey you wanna talk to Mommy?”

“Hi Mommy.”

“Hey baby girl. I’m so glad you called. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, Mommy. I had a scary dream.”

“Oh sweetie.”

“Daddy gave me lots of hugs and I’m trying to be brave.”

“You are very brave,” Peeta murmurs and Katniss can hear the soft sound of him kissing her head.

“I think I could be extra very brave if you sang to me, Mommy.”

“Of course,” she says and clears her throat to sing the familiar song. The one she sang to Raven almost a year ago while Peeta fixed the growling heater. There’s silence on the other end as they listen and Katniss sings. The song finishes and someone sighs.

“Okay, she’s asleep,” Peeta whispers. “I’m just gonna put her in bed and we’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Peeta?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we...talk after you put her to bed?”

“Sure. You didn’t get into a fist fight after the race, did you? Am I gonna get a call from the track principal?”

“No,” she says with a puff of laughter. “No fights tonight.”

“Give me just a minute.”

She waits and taps her pen on her teeth while Peeta puts their daughter back to bed. Listens patiently to the sounds of him returning to the phone.

“Tucked up safe with her giraffe,” he tells her. “So what’s keeping you awake?”

“Memory,” she says. “I think I need a distraction.”

“You really don’t want to hear my singing voice. There’s a reason we called you in the middle of the night for a lullaby.” Katniss chuckles and tosses the pen on the table.

“Then what about a story?”

“A story?”

“Something happy. Maybe from when you were a kid.”

Peeta makes a strange hissing sound at that. “Ah, that might be difficult. Um, hold on a second… Okay, I think I’ve got it.” She curls into a ball and lays down on the couch to listen.

“Every other Friday, right after she got off work, my Mom would take us to the bank and cash her paycheck. If we’d behaved ourselves all week, gotten our chores done, not gotten in trouble at school, not broken anything, not fought with one another, and not pissed off our father, she’d give us each five dollars.” Katniss wrinkles her brow at the long list of requirements for three little boys to fulfill.

“You and your two older brothers?” she asks just to make sure her memory of what they talked about that night six years ago is solid.

“That’s right. Levi and Ryen.”

“So how often did you actually get your five dollars?”

“Not very often,” he admits. “If we didn’t get the money it was usually because Levi got in trouble at school, or Ryen didn’t do his chores. Sometimes it was my fault too.”

“All or nothing?”

“Yep. If one of us didn’t earn his five dollars, none of us got our money. Great way to promote sibling harmony,” he says the last with a thick layer of sarcasm. Katniss can almost picture three blonde boys fighting over the fact that they once again missed out on payday and whose fault it was.

“And when it was your fault?” she prompts.

“Pissed off Dad somehow. This one week in summer, we’d actually managed to get the money. I think I was maybe seven? Eight? Anyways. Mom dragged us out garage sale hunting that Saturday and my brothers were complaining about being bored. Mom was getting close to losing her patience, and when that happened, she usually started the punishments by confiscating our hard earned cash. So I figured my best bet was to use my money right then and there, on anything that caught my eye for five dollars.”

“What’d you buy?”

“This busted lawn mower. It was actually priced at fifteen dollars and I misread the sign. But I haggled with the guy when he tried to show me that it was working and worth the fifteen. Turned out it wouldn’t even start.”

Katniss smiles at the image of tiny Peeta frowning at some guy yanking on the pull cord, unimpressed and waiting for the engine to purr to life and being disappointed when it didn’t. Buying the broken lawn mower anyways, as she senses where this is going.

“It distracted my brothers long enough to behave and not lose their money. Took both of them to get it into the truck, but we got it home. My mother was annoyed with me for buying something that didn’t work and would just take up space. Took me close to two years of trial and error, but eventually I got it running. Little two stroke gas powered mower.”

“Aw, did you start earning more by cutting the grass for your mom?”

“Sort of. By then, I was big enough to pass for eleven instead of nine. So I started cutting the grass for all our neighbors. They could never keep straight which Mellark boy it was they were hiring anyways, but they paid in cash so it didn’t matter. Used the money to start buying my own tools, fixed someone else’s mower, then a guy’s motorcycle when he stopped at Cartwright’s. The um, the bakery next door? Where I ran into you and Raven and Aunt Laverne that day?”

“What about it?”

“It’s my father’s. Well, it’s been passed down through his family. Levi runs it now.”

“That explains the cake and cookie wizardry.” Peeta chuckles.

“Yeah. By the time I was twelve, I was swapping between shifts at the garage and the bakery. Donald knew I wasn’t technically old enough to be working, but again...paid in cash and pretended my name was Levi if anyone asked.”

“Then it was off to baja at sixteen.”

“And there you go. My gripping autobiography in less than ten minutes.”

“Where was your dad during all this?”

She asks the question thinking of her own father and how essential he was to her growing up. She recalls the gentle encouragement and the comfort of his arms when she felt the world was against her. The way he never doubted that she belonged behind the wheel of a car and how he bought and fixed up her first go-kart racer, and then handed her the keys to a dirt track racer when she was only fourteen.

But the brief silence on the other end of the phone and then Peeta’s sharp intake of breath tells her she’s tread somewhere painful.  _ Pissed off Dad somehow _ , he’d said of the reason for him being the cause for no allowance.  _ My dad doesn’t give two shits about me _ , he said that night when they were sixteen.

“I think that’s enough story time for now,” he whispers.

“Peeta,” she says, desperate to hear a smile in his voice before they hang up. “Thank you.”

“Sure. Memory lane is fun sometimes,” he says.

“No really. Thank you.” She hopes he knows this thanks is for more than the story, even though she’s unable and too tired to put into words all the things he’s given to her that she’s grateful for.

“Anytime, Katniss.”

She tosses her phone on top of her notebook and stares out the window, caught in the story he told and the details of his youth he revealed. So many things that she never knew about him, more that she still doesn’t know, even though she feels as though she knows  _ who  _ he is deep inside so well by now.

Before she can dwell on it too much, feet shuffling on carpet draw her attention to the doorway into the bedroom. Thom yawns and scratches the back of his head, his brown hair still a mess from earlier.

“You alright?”

“Fine,” she says and he nods.

“Thought I heard you talking to someone.”

“Raven had a bad dream. She’s okay now.”

“Good. Why don’t you come back to bed, then?”

 

* * *

“I have my list for the new house!” Raven waves a sheet of paper in the air and then hands it to Peeta to read.

“A staircase with a railing you can slide down. At least one tree with a swing on the branch or a playground in the backyard. Tell you what, we’ll put a slide on a playground in the backyard and no sliding down the stairway bannister, okay?” He waits for her to agree and then keeps reading. “A big garage and a room for…” 

Peeta trails off and kneels in front of Raven. She’s smiling brightly, but as he whispers to her, the smile fades.

“But we’re a family. Ms. Franklin says family lives in the same house! Mommy!” Raven turns distressed eyes on Katniss. “Tell Daddy he has to have a room in our new house!”

“I’ll find a place to live close by. Much closer than I am right now, and you can see me whenever you want,” Peeta promises. Raven’s lip quivers and she lifts her giraffe up to hide her face.

“Grandma said we’d all be together with Mommy’s new job.”

“We will be--”

“We’re s’posed to be together!” She wails and runs back into the house.

Peeta rubs a hand over his eyes and stands, focuses on tossing the bags into the bed of his truck.

“Maybe we could…”

“You really think your boyfriend will be okay with your baby daddy living in the same house as you?”

“Thom’s reasonable.”

“No one’s  _ that _ reasonable,” Peeta says and she stuffs her hands in her coat pockets before following Raven back into the house to coax her into cooperation. They have a long drive and a long list of things to take care of once they get to Charlotte.

 

* * *

There’s no playground in the backyard, but there’s plenty of room to build one. Peeta takes Raven to a hardware store nearby so they can buy what they’ll need to begin construction.

The whole process goes frighteningly fast and Katniss feels nauseous as she signs away such a large chunk of money for the down payment. Thom offers to treat them all to dinner, but Katniss declines.

“Maybe you could just treat me,” she suggests and he sighs.

“I still don’t have approval to meet your daughter?”

“We’re trying to be respectful of each other. I need you to meet Peeta first.”

“You’re her mother. Doesn’t he trust your judgement?”

“It’s not about that.” She fumbles over her words and Thom’s brows draw closer together as she does a poor job of it. “Please just...for me?”

“Alright,” he concedes with a soft kiss on her lips. “If it’s that important to you, I’ll deal with the strange family dynamic and meet Raven’s father first. Okay?”

“Thank you.”

“So when do we go on this third wheel extravaganza?”

“Soon.”

 

* * *

She searches one last time. It’s the last race of the season and her last chance to find the girl with hazel eyes until next year. Katniss knows she probably won’t be here. Tribute League has its last race in North Carolina, Victor’s Cup in Florida on the same weekend.

For one second, she thinks she sees a hot pink scarf in the crowds as she’s walking towards her pit after the driver introductions. Fans with trackside passes still mingle about. It’s just a flash of pink and then it’s gone. Katniss shakes her head, wondering now if she’s chasing ghosts.

 

* * *

The boxes are packed and Raven is registered for her new school. They found a nice town home that Peeta’s renting, not far from the house Katniss bought for her family. A job at a downtown garage to tide him over until the interviews for Katniss’ team next year begin. There’s room in the new house for Aunt Laverne, Katniss, Raven, Prim when she’s on break from school. No more double bunking and no more leaking pipes. A massive garage, big enough for Alimony, Katniss’ truck, one more car and even a workshop for Peeta. 

No more nosy neighbors who’ve already judged Katniss based on one night when she was sixteen.

Katniss stands in the doorway and looks around at her childhood home. Stripped bare and cleaned. She runs her hand up and down the doorway where they marked her and Prim’s growth. Then Raven’s. A thousand and one memories surge through her.

“Hey. You okay?” Peeta asks and she spins around, smashes her face into his chest and then his arms are around her. They stand there while she composes herself and then smiles weakly at him.

“Next on the list...spot on the team for you.”

“Let’s hope I don’t blow the interview.”

“You won’t.”

 

* * *

“So interview on Monday. Not sure...It’s the best I could do on short notice. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a brand new dress shirt so I wasn’t sure and got two...What do you think?” Peeta asks and Raven kicks her feet in the air over her back. Stretched on her belly on Peeta’s mattress, she points to the blue shirt he’s holding up. 

“That one.”

“The green,” Katniss contradicts and he sighs.

“You two are no help.”

“Try them on, Daddy,” Raven suggests.

“Okay.” He slides his arms into one sleeve and then the other, buttoning it up over his plain white T-shirt, tucking in the tails, and striking a pose for them.

“Very handsome,” Katniss says and he spins. Her eyes dip down over his body almost reflexively. His jeans hug his ass and her throat turns dry. She shakes her head to dislodge the thoughts.

Thom, she scolds herself. She’s dating Thom. Stable NASCAR employed nurse Thom who travels to all the tracks and provides care for drivers and fans alike. Steady paycheck. Will be present at every race. No history of running off from home for an adventure at age sixteen and impregnating random girls.

She shakes her head again at the uncharitable thoughts towards Peeta.

Who is she to judge? She basically jumped him that night. They could have stopped half a dozen times, but she’s the one who pushed them to go further once they were sheltered in his truck. Besides, Peeta deserves someone who would never lie to him about the existence of his child. Never marry someone else for the convenience of avoiding the shame in having to say the words  “I don’t know who the father is.”

“Okay, here’s the green,” Peeta says, pulling her thoughts back to the task at hand.

“Oh that one,” she breathes. He pauses and looks at her quizzically. “Don’t you think so, Raven?”

“You convinced me,” she says and claps. “Definitely the green.”

“Raven honey did you get your bags put away in your room?” Katniss asks to distract herself. 

“Yes, Mommy,” Raven says and then points to a gray tie that Peeta’s holding up rather than a green striped one. He nods in agreement and moves to drape the thing around his neck. 

Raven is spending the weekend with Peeta in his new townhome while Katniss and Aunt Laverne get their new house a little more set up. They’ve been living in it for well over a week and boxes still litter the place. The only thing that’s completely set up is Raven’s room. So much unpacking, surely that’s the reason she feels overheated right now. Stress from everything she needs to take care of in the next few months of the off-season. Two months until racing resumes with her new team.

Peeta struggles with the tie for a second and Katniss takes pity on him.

“Here.” She tries once and the thing comes undone. Again with the same result. Finally she huffs and flings both ends wide as Peeta laughs. “I have no idea.”

“I think he looks fine without the tie,” Raven says.

“You are applying as a garage mechanic, not an accountant,” Katniss agrees and undoes the top button so his collar doesn’t look so constricting and stiff without the tie. She lifts her eyes to meet Peeta’s.

The world seems to slow for just a second. Like it does right before a race starts. Terrified of what happens when he blinks and the world resumes it’s normal pace, she makes an excuse to leave. 

She practically dives into the bathroom and shuts the door. Locks it for good measure and starts the water to cover the fact that she doesn’t need to go. She sits on the toilet and orders her body to calm down. Cool down. Stop this insane lusting after someone who shouldn’t want her. Doesn’t want her.

“The cuffs are too small. I can’t button them.” She still hears his voice over the sound of the rushing water. “Does it look silly if I roll them up?”

She rests her head in her hands and takes a few deep breaths. It’s when she finally opens her eyes that she spots it. In the trash can. A tissue sitting right on top of everything, with bright red lipstick in the unmistakable shape of a full pout. There’s something beneath it, and Katniss’ brain screams at her not to look. 

She should have listened.

She stands upright so fast she’s dizzy. Turns off the water and opens the door.

“Raven, honey. Why don’t you go downstairs and get a snack?”

“Okay,” she says with a shrug and hurries from the room. Peeta gives Katniss a questioning look as she vibrates with feelings she doesn’t want.

“Is something wrong?” he asks when Raven’s gone.

“You want to explain the lipstick blot and the used condom in your trash can?”

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “You really think you have a right to ask me about that?”

“I do if it affects Raven.”

“It hasn’t yet. I promised you I’d let you know if anything got serious. It’s not.”

“If condoms and lipstick are involved, I think we’re past serious.”

“I thought I was free to date? Remember? Or do I need permission for that now?”

“What if Raven saw it?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I meant to empty that before you got here but I forgot. She’s got her own bathroom here, so she probably wouldn’t have seen it anyways. I’ll take care of it right now.”

“You forgot,” she sneers quietly so Raven doesn’t hear them fighting. Then something else occurs to her and she wrinkles her nose, points accusingly at his neatly made bed. “Were we sitting in...in—“

“No! I washed everything after she left this morning,” he says and Katniss flounders for a response. “What’s really bugging you, Katniss? The fact that I forgot to get rid of some of the evidence? That’s a small oversight.”

“We’ve only been in North Carolina for a couple weeks! Who is she? Where’d you meet her? How long before you hopped into bed with her? Do you love her? How many others have there been?” The questions pour out before she thinks them through.

“You gonna be equally honest with me about you and Thom?” he asks instead of answering.

Her mouth hangs open and she shakes her head. “No. No, no. I’m not doing this again. I can’t do this again.”

“Doing what again?”

“This!” She waves her hands about. “This poisonous doubt and questioning each other.”

“I’m missing the part where you and I have done this before.”

“Not with you, Peeta!”

“Katniss,” he says very calmly and steps close to her. So they’re toe to toe and almost nose to nose. “We aren’t married. We never were. We aren’t a real couple. I never even got the chance to ask you on a real date because this is what you wanted. Friends. A team. Two people raising a kid together. You’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m only a part of your life for Raven and your race cars. So you can’t act like I’m somehow cheating on you if we’re not even together.”

 

* * *

“Raven brought this home from school. She sounded interested,” Aunt Laverne says as Katniss grabs herself some cheese from the fridge. She accepts the pastel green flyer and scans it.

“Ballet?”

“Yep. It don’t say how much the lessons cost, but I thought maybe we could check the place out.”

“No harm in calling,” Katniss says, watching Aunt Laverne stuff carrot peelings down the garbage disposal.

“That’s what I—“ an awful grinding crunching sound fills the kitchen the second Laverne turns on the disposal. She shouts and turns it back off. “What in the hell was that?”

“I’ll take a look,” Katniss says and dons the dish washing gloves. “Go flip the breaker?”

Katniss waits for Aunt Laverne to return from the laundry room and tell her the power’s off before stuffing her hand in the disposal. Under the mess of peelings, her fingers find something small and metal. Fingers close around it, she has to wiggle it free of the blades

“I think I found the problem.” She pulls it free and stares at the mangled toy car. Aunt Laverne clicks her tongue and Katniss sighs.

“That’s the third thing she’s broken this week.”

“I’ll go talk to her.”

“You need to talk to Peeta. She can tell somethin’ ain’t right between you two. The polar ice caps are warmer than you two have been around each other lately. She can’t adjust to all this change if her parents are all out of sorts.”

“I’ll talk to Raven.” Katniss reiterates, rinsing the car and ignoring Aunt Laverne’s grumbling. She tells Laverne to reset the breaker, the disposal should work just fine now. She heads to Raven’s bedroom, knocks softly and enters to find her daughter wearing her pink leggings, a neon green skirt, her black Mary Janes, and twirling.

“Raven honey, we need to talk.” She shows her daughter the mangled car and Raven huffs. “This was really dangerous, sweetie. You could have gotten hurt.”

“You weren’t s’posed to fix it.” She flops on the bed and kicks her feet, a petulant scowl on her face.

“You broke the disposal so Daddy would come fix it?” Katniss grabs hold of the reigns of patience. It makes perfect sense now, all the things Raven has broken or tried to break around the house the past week. In her sweet young mind, if something’s busted, then Peeta has to come back to fix it. If there’s always something to fix, then Daddy won’t leave. Maybe he’ll just move in.

Raven nods and twists her fingers together. Seems to be fighting back tears. Katniss sighs and moves to sit on the bed next to Raven. Her foot collides with something solid under the bed that rattles with an unmistakable metal sound.

“What the—“

“No!” 

Raven tries to stop Katniss from looking, but it’s too late. She pulls a clear plastic box from under Raven’s bed and stares at the heavy duty bolts Peeta bought to build Raven’s playground in the backyard. They went missing two days ago, delaying construction, and he’s been meaning to go to the hardware store to buy more.

Katniss looks up at her daughter and the waterworks break.

“I’m sorry, Mommy! I know I shouldn’t have!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there with me, I promise this story ends the way you all want it to. <3 KDNFB


	5. GARAGE TIME

The gears grind and there’s another sigh in her ears. “You’re tearing the transmission to pieces.”

“It’s...different,” she mutters and searches for the words. But she can’t find them. She’s driving in a haze and missing the cues she needs.

“Fuck, bring it in so we can make sure you haven’t already damaged the damn thing,” Mitchell tells her.

She slows as she approaches pit row. Hones in on the count for her approach. “Three. Two. One. Stop.”

“Well at least you can downshift today,” Mitchell says. Her cheeks burn as he tells her to cut the engine so they can take a look. “Might as well get out and stretch your legs. May be awhile.”

She unhooks herself and waves off help climbing out of the car. She stands next to the open hood and watches her garage crew inspecting and commenting amongst themselves. They’ve been at this for over a week now. Fine tuning the cars. Meshing her driving with the spotters and pit crew. Choreographing the lightning fast moves of repairs and maintenance and whittling down their stop time.

It’s not going well. Worst of all, Plutarch’s here watching today. His cigar points towards the sky in his clenched teeth, puffs of smoke mingling with the early morning fog.

Whispers slither through the air and she holds her arms over her chest to keep the strange cracks inside her from splitting wide open. She only halfway hears someone behind her chastising “the Rookie” for being clumsy on the last tire change and squeezes her eyes shut as she hears the jab off to her left.

“Whatdya expect? Guy only got the job because he  _ knows  _ the driver.” Someone else makes an obnoxious puckering noise.

It only took Aunt Laverne bringing Raven to one practice for the entire team to make the connection between her and Peeta. She swallows down guilt that he still only got hired as a tire changer. He’s worth so much more. 

And yet he’s still here with her.

“Alright, I got nothing, Mitch,” one of the garage guys says. “It’s fine right now but I don’t know how much more it can take.”

“It’s not set up for her,” Peeta says. For two seconds, the track is dead silent. She’s never heard a race track this quiet before.

“Excuse me?” Mitchell asks and someone scoffs, delighted with the scene unfolding.

“She’s a soft shifter. Not some meathead mashing gears. Usually she can float the gears but you changed the tranny from last week and made third so tall it sounds like fourth.” Mitchell blinks at Peeta and then glances at Katniss.

“Wasn’t a problem in the last two cars she drove. The last one, I know for sure had a similar gear ratio to this.”

“Those cars weren’t set up for her either. They were set up for their regular drivers. So she adapted. Used the clutch until she knew the car. Give her another two laps on the track and she’ll adapt to this one too.”

“She’ll break half a dozen gear teeth by then,” one of the garage crew argues.

“Do you set the car up with the driver in mind or not?” Peeta asks him and Katniss watches the change on Mitchell’s face. “Right now she’s driving on instinct because you can’t make up your damn minds how to build the thing. Yeah it’s a decent car but if you keep changing it and not including her in the process or thinking about who’s driving it, she’s gonna have to relearn it every week and miss gears in the meantime. Either change the tranny to fit her style and leave it or give her another few laps to get the feel of this one.”

“What’s your name and job, kid?” Mitchell asks and the pit boss steps between him and Peeta. 

“Ah he’s a Rookie, Mitch. Front wrench guy. I’ll uh talk to him about staying in his lane after this.” Someone sniggers and Mitchell shakes his head.

“I asked for his name, Darius.”

Darius whispers furiously to Peeta for a few seconds and Peeta takes off his helmet so Mitchell can see his face, his cheeks turning pink. 

“Peeta Mellark,” Darius tells Mitchell.

“Uh-huh.” Mitchell says and fixes Katniss with a hard look for just a second. “Thought we talked about putting you in the garage, Mellark.”

”We did, sir. Didn’t work out that way,” Peeta says and Mitchell nods. 

“That or I got overruled,” Mitchell glances over at Plutarch for a second. There’s a strange look that passes between the two men that Katniss can’t understand. Unable to take another second of this, Katniss speaks up.

“Give him fifteen minutes.”

“What?” One of the garage guys sounds almost offended.

“Give him fifteen minutes with the car. That’s an average garage stop.”

“And about a dozen laps on some tracks.”

“What are we practicing for if not this?” Katniss asks. 

“No one can change out a transmission that fast.”

“No but there are ways around it,” Katniss insists and turns to face Peeta.

He almost cowers from the look she sends him and she jerks her head towards the car.  _ Show them, _ she mouths. He doesn’t budge.

“Fifteen minutes, Mellark. I’m starting my watch,” Mitchell announces. 

_ Go,  _ Katniss pleads. Peeta only hesitates a second and then vaults over the wall.

At first the garage crew steps back and lifts their hands in the air, not wanting to be a part of this. But after about two minutes of watching Peeta crank on the car, one of them steps forward.

“Dude,” he says and suddenly there’s three of them with their hands under her hood. Voices firing back and forth as they work together. Peeta shouts for someone to jack up the back end. Get the drive tires off the ground.

“What can I do?” Katniss asks and Peeta looks up at her with a smile.

“Piss off and drive,” he says. One of the garage guys coughs, but Katniss understands and hops back in the car. When Peeta’s hand waves at her around the open hood, she starts the car. Focused on his hand telling her to give him more, she presses down on the accelerator, listens to the crescendo. Shifts smoothly into second. Then third. And finally fourth.

“Yeah! There it is!” Someone shouts. “Button her up!”

The hood lowers and Katniss releases the gas, downshifts as her crew secures the hood. Mitchell calls for four tires and gas, “Because that only took fourteen minutes and we need the practice anyway.” She straps back in as the backend drops. The car tilts one way for the tire change. As it tilts the other, there’s a tug on her braid.

“Kick some ass,” he says then fixes the window net. She’s smiling when Mitchell yells at her to go.

 

* * *

She wraps the robe around her and holds it closed. Tight against the cold air in the studio, the humiliation in the mirror, and the prying lascivious eyes of consumers. 

“Miss Everdeen?” There are three light taps on the door. “Are you ready?”

“Just a minute!” she says and opens the robe to stare at herself in the mirror. She immediately shuts it back up and shakes her head. Hot angry tears gather in her eyes. 

It’s not that she thinks she looks bad in it. It’s the fact that they decided this was what she was going to wear without consulting her. Her body served up for others to drool over. What does a bikini have to do with selling auto paint anyways?

“No,” she says to the cold air. “I am not posing on the hood of a car in a string bikini. Fuck that.”

She might lose her sponsor before the season even starts, but can’t bring herself to care as she tosses aside the robe and quickly puts her own clothes back on. Jeans and a loose long sleeve shirt over a strappy black tank top. Tall leather boots. She’d been so proud of herself this morning for dressing this way. Looking stylish and maybe like the supposedly successful race car driver she is. She drapes the locket from Raven and Peeta around her neck, checks her hair, and saunters back on set. Around the cans of auto paint in neat pyramids on the floor.

“You’re not...dressed,” Flavius the photographer says, sounding annoyed. 

Katniss swings one leg up over the hood of the car and sits to scowl at them all.

“I am dressed the only way you’re gonna get me.”

 

* * *

“Mommy. Pssst. Mommy.”

Katniss groans as small hands shove at her shoulder.

“Mommy wake up.”

“I’m awake,” Katniss says and rolls over in the bed.

“There are people outside with cameras.”

“It is too early for trackside interviews,” she groans again and pulls the blankets up to cover both their heads.

“We are not ready for our closeups,” Raven says and Katniss smiles at the disheveled state of Raven’s hair. Her own probably doesn’t look much better.

“Sssshhh. If we’re very quiet, they won’t know that we’re here.”

Raven giggles and snuggles closer. “Can you paint my nails like yours today?”

“Sure. The polish is in the--”

Raven produces the small glass vial and Katniss smiles. They stay hidden under the covers as long as they can, whispering to one another and lifting a corner every few minutes to vent the fumes of the polish. 

 

* * *

She walks through the garage on her way to the driver’s meeting. There’s a hushed sort of anticipation. A quiet reserve with officials wandering about, ensuring that any last minute changes or adjustments to the cars are legal and don’t warrant a change in starting position.

Her gaze idles at the bay assigned to the number 36. Electric blue tool chests stand sentry around a small gathering of men in black and electric blue uniforms. A young girl in overalls, an electric blue shirt, a black bandana worn like a headband, and hot pink sneakers stands with her arms crossed and resting on the lip of the open hood. Twin black braids trail down her shoulders. One foot rests on tip toe behind the other and sways as she watches her dad and one other mechanic as they double check then triple check everything. In a few minutes, they’ll move the car out to pit row.

Hers, Katniss thinks. This is hers now.

Wanting to catch the moment, her hands search the cracked leather tool bag sitting next to the shining painted chests. Triumphant, she pulls an old camera from the mess and snaps a quick picture before slipping the camera back in its place. Peeta will get it when he eventually has the film developed.

As much as she wants to linger, Katniss has somewhere to be. At the end of the long line, she passes a cluster of almost neon purple tool chests that match the car within, all emblazoned with the number 14. Equally colorful swears reach her ears and her footsteps slow just a little.

A petite woman in a purple fire suit, unzipped and tied around her waist slips between two tool chests.

“Just get it fucking fixed before the start, Kenny!” Their shoulders bump and Johanna Mason glares at Katniss. “Oh god. They really are letting anyone race these days.”

She ruffles her spiked hair and walks off before Katniss can form an adequate response.

Katniss takes a moment to place her sunglasses on her nose and fix her scowl on her face before walking out into the cool February sunshine. For now, the cameras just record. The questions and the frenzy will come later today.

At one point, she spots at least one hand with the nails painted black, waving above the crowd as if to catch someone’s attention. Just a flash and then it’s gone.

 

* * *

“We’ve not had much time to talk lately,” Plutarch says as he sidles up next to her. She wants to get back to the garage. To Raven and Peeta so they can have a few minutes of quiet family time all together before the start.

“It’s been busy getting everything prepared,” Katniss says and he nods.

“Indeed. How’s your crew working for you?”

“So far, pretty good. Today’s the real test though, isn’t it?”

“That it is. Miss Everdeen, I’ll be frank with you. I don’t suffer dramatics on my teams. I know that’s what the crowds want, but with 43 hotheads with adrenaline issues all on the track at the same time, things can get messy. No need to fan the flames on purpose.”

“Sir?”

“I have some concerns. Try not to pick a fight with Mason. That might not be easy, but...try. I foot the bill for both your cars and don’t care to have both of ‘em busted up at the same time if it can be helped.”

“Got it,” she says and he pulls out a cigar, rolls it between his fingers.

“And your boy...Mellark. I agreed to let Mitchell move him to the garage crew and build team because I trust Mitch’s judgement when it comes to grease monkeys and what he did in practice was impressive. But some of that kid’s application didn’t check out. Plus, I’m not a fan of nepotism. It’s a cancer that’ll eventually kill some of the bigger racing dynasties. Skill on the other hand...skill doesn’t let you down.”

“Then there won’t be a problem,” she says. 

 

* * *

It’s a gauntlet of reporters to get back to the garage. Twangs and twisted vowels answering questions about cars and how they spent the off season, changes to their teams and how prepared the drivers feel.

“Now tell us about what happened, Johanna. What drove the decision to take you out of Victor’s Cup and bring you back down to Tribute?”

“Well Caesar, they keep saying that I wasn’t ready for the Big Bad Boys’ club. But the truth is, they weren’t ready for me,” Johanna says as Katniss walks by.

“I see. So what do you hope to accomplish this season?”

She keeps walking and misses the rest of the interview.

 

* * *

One mediocre pit stop on yellow drops her from third to seventh. In the shuffle of the restart, she gets stuck behind Cato and sighs.

He blocks her again and again. The gap between them and the lead pack stretches wide. To a quarter lap and then to half a lap

“Last time I checked, this ain’t a game of follow the leader,” Mitchell says. “Get around him. You’re faster.”

She waits for her opening in the form of a lapped car and slings around Cato. He veers right into her and sends her bouncing off the wall. Not enough to take her out, just enough to damage the entire right side. When she drops down the track in front of Cato, solidly in fifth place, she hears a collective release of breath in the radio.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” she says. “How bad is it?”

“Looks skin deep only from here. How’s she driving?”

“Hold on,” she says and takes the car through two more turns before answering. “She feels fine.”

 

* * *

The celebrations are short. Mitchell offers a round of beer from a cooler to the entire team.

“Great job today,” he says and lifts his drink as the gathered team falls silent. “Eighth on a debut for a brand new team with a few rookies is a win in my book. Keep it up guys and gals and we’ll be in victory lane before you know it.”

There’s a round of cheers and whistles and Katniss smiles as the team celebrates in the evening light. In a few hours they’ll be packed up and splitting up. Some headed to the next track to setup. Others to their team headquarters back in North Carolina to make sure next week’s car is ready to go.

“I think I should get this little firefly tucked in before things get rowdy,” Aunt Laverne says as she pries Raven from Katniss’ hands. 

“Are you sure? I can tuck her in.”

“You two celebrate with your team. You’ve earned it,” Laverne says.

“Love you, Mommy. Love you, Daddy,” Raven says around a big yawn. “We’ll get a win soon. I can feel it.”

Katniss nuzzles Raven’s cheek, drawing out a sleepy smile that’s still wide enough to reveal her dimple. Two kisses to the spot and she steps back so Peeta can kiss Raven’s other cheek and whisper his good night and love you too. Laverne rests her hand on Katniss’ cheek for just a second before carrying a still excited, but clearly tired Raven to bed.

Without Raven as a shield, Katniss winds up with a beer in her hand. She’s never been much of a drinker and cringes at the first taste of the bitter liquid. But she swallows, determined not to make herself more of an outcast from her team than she already feels. Decides she’ll just drink it slow. Peeta seems to be of the same mind, because after twenty minutes, she can’t remember seeing him take a single drink and his bottle is still mostly full.

The thing tastes worse to her as it warms in her hand and the night wears on. Laughter rises up under the stars, loud in the quiet that falls over the track now that the crowds have made their exit and the crews wrap up their clean up for the night. Someone offers her a second beer and she accepts. It’s much better cold. She finishes it faster this time and then there’s another one in her hands. She has a sneaking suspicion that her team is trying to get her drunk. She gets two good swigs in and has to stop.

Her head begins to buzz and she rests it on Peeta’s shoulder, grateful for the lawn chair she’s sitting in and how solid Peeta is, because standing right now doesn’t seem too easy.

“I’ve been wonderin’ somethin’, Peeta,” she says and he tugs on her drink. She clings to it and scowls. “Get your own.”

“I have my own. But your accent just went from noticeable to holy shit, that’s some twang. Any more beer and you’re gonna regret it in the morning.”

“I tell you what, answer my question and I’ll stop drinkin.’”

“Deal,” he says and she releases her grip on the bottle.

“How’d you get Jethro to put that water in his gas tank?” Peeta laughs and Katniss lifts her head to direct her scowl right at him. “You have to answer or hand me my beer back.”

“I may have led him to believe that it was a fuel additive that boosted speed and your secret to doin’ so well.”

“You are a slick liar, Peeta Mellark.”

“Eh, I felt kinda bad about it at first. He was too easy to mislead. Then again…”

“Alimony.”

“Not just that. The fact that he busted the lock on the garage to destroy her. What if he’d decided to hurt Raven instead of the car? Or you even or Laverne or Prim?”

“I don’t wanna think about that,” Katniss says and her head falls on his shoulder again. “You aren’t drinkin’ are you?”

“Nope.”

“Why not? Don’t you feel like celebratin’?”

“Getting shit faced is not my idea of celebrating. This is good enough.”

“What is? Answering twenty questions? Oh! I have another one.”

“Shouldn’t I get to ask one now?” he says with laughter in his voice and she gets close enough to catch the scent of motor oil on his skin.

“Fine. Ask me a question. I might not answer.”

“Why two kisses on Raven’s cheek? How’d that start?”

“Oh that’s an easy one,” Katniss says. “She smiled late.”

Peeta stares at her and shakes his head. “How do you smile late?”

“Babies are apparently supposed to smile around six weeks. I say bullshit. They smile when they’re ready. Raven waited until close to eleven weeks. Hazelle kept sayin’ somethin’ was wrong with her but I knew… I just had to be patient. She’d smile when she was ready.”

“And when she did…” Peeta prompts.

“I was so happy to see it that I had to kiss her dimple twice. That was when Gale started to suspect that... whatever it’s in the past. My turn now! Heavensbee said there were things about your application that didn’t check out.” Peeta turns his face away from her and looks upset. She almost rethinks the question, but she needs to know. “Whad’id he mean by that?”

“He’s probably referring to the fact that I lied about my name and my age to get that contract with the baja team.”

“I don’t understand,” she shakes her head and immediately regrets it. “Whoa.”

“Here, let’s get you to bed.”

“No, I wanna know!”

Peeta sighs and sits back in his chair. “I was sixteen, Katniss. I couldn’t sign myself into an employment contract like that without parental consent.”

They stare at each other a moment and then her mouth rounds out as it slowly dawns on her. “Your mother wouldn’t’ve signed. She wanted you to stay and finish school. And your dad…”

“My dad was usually too drunk to sign anything.”

A familiar kick hits her deep inside. Memories of her mother slumped over the kitchen table, an empty bottle nearby and cigarette smoke hanging thick in the air. Ashes littering the table. Her fingers flex, wanting to reach out and tuck back a wayward blonde curl. To wipe away the frown now on his face.

“And when he wasn’t too drunk to sign things?” She asks, although the hints and clues begin to line up in her brain and she doesn’t much like the picture they paint.

“Well the man shoulda been a tennis player. He had great form on a backhand,” Peeta jokes, and she finds no humor in it. When she says nothing, Peeta keeps talking. “He’d be gone for days at a time and we’d never know when he’d plan on wandering back in or if he’d be drunk or sober when he did. We all managed to wander into his cross hairs at some point, but most days it felt like I took the brunt of it. Probably ‘cause I had such a smart ass mouth and he didn’t like that. It got worse after Levi and Ryen were both out of the house. Then it was just me he had to take his aggression out on.”

He lifts her beer and takes a deep drink. The look in his eyes shatters her. She takes the bottle back, sets it aside and laces their fingers together so neither one of them can drink.

“So you ran away.”

“I told them my name was Levi Mellark and had a deal worked out with my brother so I’d still get paid. Had an account the money went into and he’d wire out of it to Peeta Mellark wherever I was. It was messy and didn’t always work out. Made things difficult for him sometimes. After the two years were up, I was eighteen but...well the truck I was driving the night I met you…”

A deep, warm flush covers her entire body as she remembers that night. Remembers what they did in that truck. Then something occurs to her. He was supposed to sell it before he took off with the team. But he’s still driving it.

“What about it?” she asks suspiciously.

“Wasn’t mine. That was Dad’s truck.”

“You stole his truck and ran away in it?”

“Dropped it in Capitol and reported it abandoned on the side of the road. Figured at least then it’d make it’s way back to my parents, and it did. But uh...Dad had already reported it stolen and when he figured out it was me that stole it…”

“Is that what Haymitch meant when he talked about the stunt you pulled at age sixteen?”

“The whole thing really, but stealing the truck was a big part of it. That caused all kinds of problems I hadn’t planned on. Dad used the police report on it to keep me out of the state. So when I turned eighteen and could actually sign a contract under my name legally, I did. Stayed and worked until it ran out. By then, Dad was close to dead and Mom dealt with the mess of stolen truck in exchange for me showing my face at his funeral like a good son.” 

Katniss laughs. She laughs because that’s all she can do and Peeta stares at her like she’s lost her mind. 

“Alright, you’re done. Off to bed with you.”

“No, I just...why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“At first...because I didn’t think you’d let someone who’d done all that anywhere near Raven. You’re very protective of the people you love.”

“Win my trust first, tell me the truth never?” she asks. 

“Something like that.”

“And you got mad at me for not telling you about her to begin with. But you’re a car thief.” She jabs a finger into his pectoral and loses her balance. Leans towards him and has to flatten her palm on his chest. His heart drums against her hand and she finds herself staring at his lips. Remembering the feel of his kisses and wondering if it’d feel the same to kiss him so many years later. “Peeta…I want...”

“Sleep. You need to get to sleep.” He stands and helps her to her feet. The world spins and she clings to him as he walks her back to the trailer. She vaguely hears hoots and hollers behind her, unable to place what anyone could be celebrating about right now. Peeta helps her into her bed and then vanishes.

She’s wide awake, though. And hot. She stumbles to the window and opens it, taking deep gulps of the cool night air.

“Back already?”

“Shit Mellark. You can't even manage to hang on for eight seconds?”

“I hear you’re the expert at that, so you’d be a better judge,” Peeta answers to scattered laughter. Someone else says something she doesn’t catch, but she hears Peeta’s answer. “Nah, whatever you assholes think is there, I promise you it’s not.”

For some reason, his phrasing bothers her, even though she knows he said it to defend her.

 

* * *

“I’d like to get a birthday present for Raven. Would that be okay?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. She wouldn’t understand,” Katniss says. “She wouldn’t understand why someone she’s never met is giving her a present.”

“She would if you’d let me meet her. Does she even know that we’ve been seeing one another?”

“Of course she does. Soon. You can meet her soon.”

“You keep saying that, but I’m not sure that I believe it anymore. I’ve met Peeta, you know.”

“When?” she asks, a little taken aback.

“Come on Katniss. He’s on your team. He’s at every race at every track with you. I was bound to bump into him at some point.”

“Well, I…”

“Look, how about this. He’s seeing someone too, right?”

“Yes,” she says and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Then how about a double date? He can get to know me, and you can get to know his girlfriend. Then maybe we can have a real conversation about me getting to know your daughter.”

“I guess that’d be okay.”

“I know how important Raven is to you, Katniss. I want to do this on your terms. But it’s been almost five months. How much longer do you need to decide you trust me?”

“I trust you.”

 

* * *

Aunt Laverne wraps up the leftover cake and Peeta washes dishes. Raven sits in the living room with her Aunt Prim, admiring her presents. A hot pink tutu and a new set of paints from Peeta, a couple of books from Prim.  And from Katniss… a set of screwdrivers and a hammer made for little hands. Aunt Laverne supplemented that gift with a kit to build a wooden toy race car, and a pirate ship. Raven’s already extracted a promise from Peeta to help her build the boat after he’s done with the cleanup. It didn’t take much work on Raven’s part.

With the cleanup done, the family moves outside. Peeta and Raven adjourn to the garage for their project, the others sit on the back porch to enjoy the early spring sunshine and the fragrant breeze. At one point, the girl from across the street wanders over to tell Raven “Happy Birthday” and to see if she can play.

Katniss watches happily as Raven plays with her friend, a warm feeling of contentment washing over her. It’s only after Raven is tucked in bed that worries catch up to her. 

Peeta agreed to Thom’s double date idea. And as she finishes straightening the living room, she admits that she was half hoping he’d refuse. No such luck.

 

* * *

“You have a minute?” Thom asks and she drops off her toes to smile at him.

“Yeah.”

“I got us a reservation for next Sunday. We’ll be back in Charlotte for a race that week.

“Okay,” she says and nods once. “I’ll tell Peeta.”

“Great,” he says and she returns to her search. She saw it twice today. A flash of someone in hot pink and black, and she swears this time there was some electric blue along with it. “What are you looking for?” 

“I’m not sure.” It only takes her a minute to describe the girl with the painted black nails she saw last year and how Katniss has been looking for her since.

“You sure you’re not seeing things?” Thom asks her.

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe we should have a scan done,” he suggests, fingers brushing some hair off her temple. She shakes her head. “You took a hard hit in the wall last week, after all. Might have done some damage. Or it could be delayed from your wreck last year.”

She shakes her head and keeps looking. “The first time I saw her was before the wreck.”

“Okay...what about the nightmares?” With a sigh, she gives up the search.

“I’m dealing with those.”

 

* * *

“Out of my way, Everdeen.”

“Ask nicely, Mason.”

“Fuck off, slut.”

“You first, bitch.”

“Maybe I will fuck off. With your hot little baby daddy. That’s a nice deal you wangled for yourself.”

“What exactly is your problem with me?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, vagina owners are not wanted here. There’s only room for so many of us, and you’re a pain in my ass with your single mom protector bullshit and your romantic drama that’s ready to explode any second.”

“Current standings have nothin’ to do with drama.”

Johanna snarls at her and snaps her teeth before walking off.

 

* * *

She parks her truck and checks her makeup in the mirror. Prim helped her with it tonight, and she hopes it’s not too much. But the circles under her eyes warranted it. 

She feels like she’s driving two hundred miles an hour with no brakes and no kill switch. Between Johanna and Cato giving her hell on the track, the nightmares and Johanna giving her hell off the track, she’s stressed to the limit. 

Raven started breaking things again this week, after Katniss told her that she and Peeta were going on a double date and explained what that meant as best she could to a six year old. This time it was the microwave. She distracted Katniss and then hid a fork in the leftover casserole Katniss was about to heat up for their supper.

After Peeta talked to Raven about it, she stopped, but Katniss and Laverne remained on high alert, all the while trying to figure out where a six year old learned how to sabotage a microwave.

Deciding her makeup is fine, Katniss slides her feet into the heels she borrowed from Prim and climbs down from her truck. She totters for a second before she gains her balance. Prim made Katniss practice walking and sitting then standing from a chair in these things, but they neglected to practice driving or getting in and out of a truck.

Thom’s already waiting for her and smiles warmly, his eyes raking down her body then back up to her eyes.

“You look...stunning,” he says and she can feel herself blushing as he wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her close against him. Whispers in her ear. “I almost want to skip dinner altogether.”

“We could,” she suggests and he sighs.

“Why do I get the feeling you really don’t want to do this?”

“You must be imagining things,” she says with a shrug and a step back from him.

“I was hoping maybe you could come over tonight. After. We’ve barely spent any time together away from the tracks lately.”

“Maybe,” she says. “I’ll have to check with Aunt Laverne. See how Raven’s taking things.”

He eyes her oddly and before she has to answer for her hesitation, she spots Peeta opening the door. He’s handsome in his green shirt and tie under a navy jacket. Then his date sweeps through the door -- a gorgeous redhead. It’s almost unreal and Katniss has to school her expression into one of something other than complete shock. 

She’s curvy and sexy, her hair a shimmering curtain of red silk that probably never tangles and never spends hours at a time coated in sweat and road grime under a helmet. This girl looks like she stepped out of a 1940’s centerfold. Perfect, pouty red lips. Eyes that border on topaz with a long fringe of lashes. Creamy skin, and nails painted red to match her lips. Diamonds in her ears. She wears her dress and her heels like she was born in them. Shapely legs, cleavage on display, and no sign of mommy rolls or calluses on her hands.

The only flaw Katniss can find is that her long, straight, narrow nose makes her look almost like a fox. A sleek, sly little vixen. Katniss gives herself a mental shake as Peeta rests his hand on Foxface’s lower back and guides her further inside the lobby. Foxface’s eyes find Katniss and widen for just a second before she strides straight for them.

There’s about two seconds of awkward silence before Peeta breaks the ice. “So, Audrey, this is Katniss Everdeen and Thom Bradford.” 

She’s finally able to grab hold of her wits and shake the hand of Audrey Lake. Then she stumbles through a pointless introduction between Thom and Peeta. They don’t shake hands, and her cheeks burn hotter than they already did.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you, Katniss,” Audrey says with a smile that only grates on Katniss’ nerves. “I was starting to think you didn’t really exist!”

“I can relate,” Thom chuckles and the hostess rescues them from more awkwardness. Once seated at the table, things go a little more smoothly, but Katniss still feels out of sorts.

“This is such a nice place,” Audrey says as she glances over the menu. “We don’t make it to many fancy places like this.”

The waiter stops by to take drink orders and the talk shifts after he leaves.

“So how did you two meet?” Audrey asks and points between Katniss and Thom. “I am a sucker for romantic meet cutes.”

“Um,” Thom says and looks over at Katniss. “She got in a wreck and I’m a nurse.”

“Oh that’s so sweet!” Audrey says. “So he got to take care of you… It wasn’t a bad wreck, was it?”

“My car went airborne at a hundred and sixty miles an hour then rolled for an eighth of a mile,” Katniss explains. Audrey blinks and Peeta scratches the back of his neck.

“Oh you mean it was a wreck during one of your races.”

Katniss glances at Peeta and lifts one eyebrow at him.  _ Play nice, _ he mouths to her and she rolls her eyes, but takes a sip of her water, hoping the service here is fast because she’s ready to leave.

After food.

“So you work in racing, too?” Audrey asks Thom.

“That’s right. I work in a clinic three days a week, then on weekends at the race tracks.” Thom explains about his job and Audrey makes some asinine comment about how it’s just so fascinating that people can survive any wreck at that speed.

“It’s called a reinforced roll cage, crush zones, and safety harnesses,” Katniss mutters into her water.

They order their food and Thom explains about the medical issues you sometimes see in drivers after wrecks like that. Katniss bounces her foot under the table, uncomfortable with the talk that hits a little close to home. Peeta’s hand brushes her knee under the table and he gives her a quick, reassuring squeeze, his touch gone before she has a chance to truly absorb the effect.

Then Thom asks Audrey what she does for a living. Katniss should probably be the one asking these questions and paying attention to the answers, since the whole point of this is to decide if they’re ready to introduce Thom and Audrey to Raven, but she can’t bring herself to care enough about Audrey’s work as a paralegal. It sounds incredibly boring.

“Now how about you two,” Thom says as he drapes his arm over the back of Katniss’ chair. His fingers trace over her shoulder and she shrugs to adjust the shawl she’s wearing. “How did you two meet?”

“I’ve known Peeta for years.”

“Sort of,” he says and Audrey smiles at him.

“We used to live in the same town but my family moved away when I was twelve years old. And when we ran into each other here, it was just…” she trails off and waves her hand in the air, searching for the words. “Instant chemistry.”

She smiles at Peeta and adjusts his tie. The waiter delivers a basket of bread and Katniss tears into the first one she grabs.

“I was having car troubles and Peeta stopped along the side of the road to help me. We got to talking and realized we already knew each other!”

“How cute,” Katniss says and this time Peeta actually frowns at her. She shoves bread in her mouth, but Audrey either misses or ignores her sarcasm.

“It’s a good thing too, because apparently my car was on its last legs.”

“Not really,” Peeta reminds her. “All she needed was a new water pump.”

He picks up the basket of rolls to present them to her and she flutters her lashes at him. Katniss’ stomach turns.

“Oh, hon!” Audrey says, ignoring the rolls to snatch up his hand. “Did you forget to wash your hands again?”

Peeta’s ears turn red and he snatches his hand back out of her grip to hide it beneath the table.

“It’s just you’ve got some…” Audrey whispers, but it’s neither soft nor subtle. “Around your fingernails.”

“Yeah, that’s um… I’ll just be right back,” Peeta says and sets down the basket. Katniss’ eyes dip to his fingers and she can’t find anything amiss. There’s a faint line of grime around his thumbnail at least, but that’s not something that ever really goes away when you work with cars all day long. No matter how much scrubbing you do.

Peeta disappears, presumably to wash his hands, and Katniss tries to filet Audrey with her eyes. The woman goes on and on about how nice it is to date someone who’s good with his hands and all the things he’s fixed with her car and around her home, but sometimes she wonders what he’s gotten into with the state of his hands. How she got him this really nice set of work gloves, fingernail brushes and lotions as a gift, because she worries about the calluses on his palms, and sometimes the stuff under his nails makes things awkward. Like when he met her parents and she was embarrassed by Peeta’s hands when he shook with her father.

“Or there are places I’m not sure  _ anyone _ would want his hands to go. You know what I mean, Katniss,” Audrey says with a look of understanding that makes Katniss want to scratch the woman’s eyes out. Thom coughs at the innuendo. She’s still talking about it when Peeta returns, going on about how she’s not sure Peeta ever uses any of that oh so thoughtful gift. He keeps his hands hidden beneath the table. His ears and cheeks still burn pink.

Audrey finally shuts up then, plunging them into an awkward beat of silence.

“Personally, I don’t trust a mechanic with perfectly smooth or clean hands,” Katniss says, pulling herself up to her full height in her seat. “The question then isn’t what he got his hands into but what he neglected. Cars only start out pretty and polished on the inside. That’s gone as soon as you start her up. Working on engines is just like life. It’s dirty and nasty and no matter what you do, if you’ve done the job right, your hands wind up covered in grime. You want someone -- no you  _ need _ someone -- who’s willing to get in that muck with you and get their hands filthy to fix whatever needs fixin’.”

When she finishes, everyone at the table is staring at her. Audrey blinks twice and lifts one shoulder.

“I hadn’t...thought about it that way.”

 

* * *

She wanders through the house, turning off lights and checking locks. As she moves to close the blinds in the kitchen, she notices light spilling from one of the open garage doors into the black night. Peeta’s orange Chevy parked in front of it. Rain falls from the sky, sparkling in the light. 

Finding her sneakers and a rain jacket, she slips outside and across the yard, pausing in the doorway to watch him work for a minute. He stands upright and stares at whatever he’s just done to Alimony.

“She doesn’t need any work. She’s still perfect,” Katniss says and Peeta scoffs.

“I don’t know about that.”

“You made her perfect. Perfect for me. For what we needed.”

He doesn’t turn around to face her and she bites her lip to hold back tears. She’d only meant to knock some sense into Audrey. To get her to shut up and stop embarrassing Peeta. To make her see, understand, that Peeta’s worth more than he seems. 

They left the restaurant before she and Thom did, and Katniss assumed that meant other things. Things that made her feel inexplicably nauseous, like that tissue in Peeta’s trash can with Audrey’s red lipstick on it had done. But instead she spotted them arguing in the parking lot as she walked towards her truck. She didn’t get close enough to find out what the fight was about. She hadn’t meant to cause a fight between them. 

“That is the worst apology I’ve ever heard,” he says and she leans back against the wall to stare at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry, Peeta.”

“It’s fine. She deserves someone with more class anyways.”

“No, that’s not it. She’s an idiot. And you deserve someone who never makes you feel small,” Katniss says and Peeta bends back over the car.

“So when are you going to introduce Thom to Raven?”

“I don’t know,” she chokes out, and turns to leave before she does something stupid, like cry in front of him.

“Shit. Katniss...” he says and catches her before she can escape. He folds her into his embrace and she holds onto his shirt. His lips brush her neck and his hands rub warmth into her as she relaxes. 

“Why is it that I’m the one who got dumped, but you’re the one getting the hugs?” he asks and she laughs, the sound watery and sad as she slides her hands up his chest to wrap her arms around his neck and hold him tight.

 

* * *

She hates to interrupt. Raven looks so happy, running and dancing in an open patch of grass with the kids of other drivers and team members. It’s a rainbow of bright colors and childish laughter. She made a promise, but watching her daughter so happy and carefree, Katniss can’t bring herself to keep the promise.

By the time the game winds down and Katniss is able to steal Raven away, they’re almost thirty minutes late meeting Thom. Even though Katniss texted him to let him know they’d be late, he still looks a little annoyed as they walk into the infield care center.

Annoyance fades away quickly, though.

“This is my friend, Mr. Thom,” Katniss says and smiles as Raven shakes his hand, very seriously and answers all his questions about her friends she was playing with. Thom agreed to keep the first meeting short, so Raven wouldn’t become overwhelmed.

As they leave, Raven slides her hand in Katniss’. “Can we go see Daddy now?”

“Of course we can, baby girl.”

 

* * *

Her eyes flick up to the single word painted in a deep yellow above the windshield with two pink blooms on either side.

_ Tuition _

They talked about it. How they hadn’t named her car yet and what they’d call this one. In the middle of the conversation, Prim had called to say that she was thinking about changing her major and that might mean an extra year at college. She hadn’t figured it all out yet, though.

Peete painted the single word and the flowers up there, and as the call to start engines comes, Katniss smiles and says quietly so only she knows, “For Prim.”

 

* * *

“You’d think it’d be easy shopping for him,” Katniss complains as she scans through another listing and declares it a dead end.

“It would be if you weren’t trying to find something kinda rare.” Katniss glares at Aunt Laverne and she holds her hands up in surrender. “All I’m saying is that the man would be happy with any kind of tool or a gift card to an auto supply store. Or a lap dance--”

“Aunt Laverne,” Katniss warns and Laverne sniffs primly.

“I’m just sayin’...”

“Peeta doesn’t see me that way anymore. And I’m dating Thom, remember?”

“For being such a terrible liar, you’re awful good at lying to yourself. It’s your choice, baby girl. I’ve said my piece, now I’ll keep my peace.”

“Mommy!” Raven shouts from the back door and Katniss looks up to smile at her happy daughter’s face. A face covered in grime and streaked with oil. “Daddy let me help him change the oil in your truck!”

“I can...see that,” Katniss says as Peeta appears behind Raven, almost as dirty.

“We may have made a small miscalculation on placement of the drip pan,” he says and Laverne laughs.

“You think?”

“We cleaned up our mess in the garage,” Raven says and lifts her foot to take a step.

“Okay, no. Stop those little feet right there, Missy. Both of you get back out to the yard and clean up the mess you’ve made of yourselves,” Katniss says as she tries not to smile. As soon as they’re gone, she shakes her head at Aunt Laverne’s laughter. “I’ll be right back. Get some towels out for me?”

She slips from her seat at the island and puts on some shoes, ducks out to the garage and finds the car wash soap and the pumice cleaner before joining Peeta and Raven, who’ve already unwound the hose.

“Alright, my little grease monkeys. Soap up,” she says and tosses one of the jugs to Peeta. He catches it and slathers both their hands and faces. They smear the bubbles on one another’s cheeks and blow them off their hands. Katniss laughs at the face Raven makes when they pop before she can get them airborne. She’s so distracted by Raven dancing in the hose spray to rinse that she’s caught off guard and gasps when the water shifts and hits her chest.

“You did not just do that.” Katniss says and scowls at Peeta, but he only laughs and moves towards the spigot.

“I told you that scowl doesn’t work on me.”

“Oh yeah?” she runs at him and jumps on his back, snatching up the hose and spraying him in the face. The hose is wrenched from her grip. He twists, gets her off his back and then she’s caught in his arms, laughing with her feet flailing in the air as Raven hoses her down, giggling and shouting at them.

She’s almost disappointed when he sets her down to chase after a squealing Raven.

 

* * *

There’s a race recap playing at the dentist office as she waits with Raven. And Katniss has to hush her daughter to avoid anyone in the waiting room who might actually know who she is.

_ “I gotta say...this team is a whole lotta fun. Tuition is hot on the track tonight and Team Everdeen is pumped up. What is that they’re doing Claudius?” _

_ “I’m not sure, Caesar...oh wait. It looks like they’re giving their wallets a beating. Haha!” _

_ “I think that might be a message for the other teams. Tuition is on the rise so get ready for the beating.” _

_ “White Flag, final lap. And unless something drastic happens, that’s a mark in the win column for Katniss Everdeen.” _

“Raven,” the hygienist announces and Raven hops up and leads the way, a huge smile on her face.

 

* * *

“A little to the left,” Katniss says, her hands still covering Peeta’s eyes. Raven skips around them as they walk awkwardly into the garage bay next to Alimony’s. It’s been sitting empty since they moved in, until last night. “Okay. Stop here.”

Katniss bites her lip and pulls her hands back. “Happy Birthday!” she and Raven shout together.

He just stands there and stares at his present. The one she and Raven searched for weeks to find. 

When they registered Raven for her new school, it occured to Katniss that Peeta’s birthday would be listed on her birth certificate. That’s how Katniss learned his was only a few weeks before her own. She’d agonized about what to get him since he’s always so thoughtful in his gifts. When Raven said, “We should get him a car,” Katniss had known that was perfect. It just had to be the  _ right  _ car.

Peeta makes a strange sound in his throat and takes a few hesitant steps towards the battered and rusty car.

“Where did you find her?”

“Guy in West Virginia.” Peeta curses softly and sets just his fingertips on the lines of her front right fender. “I know she needs some love. A lot of love,” Katniss says hesitantly. Before she can finish her explanation that she thought he’d love it more if he got to restore her, he spins and she’s engulfed in his arms. Raven wriggles into the hug and Peeta smacks loud kisses onto both their cheeks.

“I love her already. You two...I don’t know what to say.”

“Thank you and I love you works,” Raven says and Peeta laughs.

“Thank you so much and I love you.”

The words rolling off his tongue make Katniss’ chest flutter then settle into a cozy warmth as he lets her go and carries Raven over to the car.

“Shelby Mustang GT500,” Raven recites to him dutifully and his smile lights the world. Katniss watches as the two of them crawl through the body, making lists of what she needs and where they should start.

 

* * *

“Alright, listen up,” Plutarch announces as he walks into the bustling garage. “I have an announcement to make. Mitch has come down with a case of bronchitis. He’ll be out for at least this week, maybe longer.” There’s grumbling in the garage and Plutarch holds up his hands for silence. “We’re still gonna race. Mitch and I talked a long time about this and he wants Mellark here to step up and take his place this weekend. Depending on how things go this race, we’ll decide who’s gonna be temporary crew chief at Phoenix next week if Mitch is still out sick. It’s a short track this week and remember...the shorter the track, the shorter the temper.

 

* * *

“Still looking?” Peeta asks and Katniss swings her head back around to greet him and Raven. A few people shout to get her attention, but she ignores their voices to focus on her family.

“Yeah. Maybe I should give up.”

“Bet you as soon as you stop trying to find her, she’ll find you,” Peeta says with a soft smile. Her insides feel warm and fluffy. “Tuition’s all ready for you.”

 

* * *

“I can pass her on turn three.”

“You could.”

“But?”

“She’s gonna try to block.”

“I know how to get around her blocks.”

“Yeah, I know you do. Now’s not the time to prove it.”

“I want this win, Peeta.”

“So do I, but listen. She knows you’re back there and she knows you’re coming. She knows you’ve got her beat on the turns. She’s expecting you to try it. Which means she’s gonna try to take you out to prevent it.”

“So?”

“She’ll put you both in the wall before she lets you win. That’s how she plays.”

“Who gives a fuck?”

“Well I do. I don’t much feel like rebuilding the car or spending the night with your whiny ass in a hospital.”

“And Heavensbee told me not to pick a fight with her,” Katniss sighs. She can’t screw this up. It’s unheard of, the chance they gave Peeta tonight. She won’t mess this up for him. Or herself.

“Also Cato’s two cars back and on fresh tires. No one else is gonna catch you unless there’s a yellow flag. But if you go toe to toe with Johanna on this one, Cato takes that win. Think about how much fun they’ll have with the headlines. Two girls wreck each other at the finish line. Clearly ya’ll don’t belong here.”

“Fuck.” She focuses on driving and tries once to get around Johanna, narrowly swerving in time to avoid a wreck when Johanna tries to block her. “Alright,” she concedes with a sigh. “Whatdya want me to do?”

“Block  _ for _ her. Keep Cato busy and make it a one-two finish. Johanna and you.”

Katniss sighs and shifts through turn four, flicks her gaze up to her mirror.

“One car back. He’s playing peek a boo with Elliot.”

Katniss maneuvers herself back in behind Johanna as she waits for Cato. Sings a few bars of an old tune her father used to sing about a girl in a T-bird.

“Is that  _ Fun, Fun, Fun _ ?”

“Whoa, Mellark knows The Beach Boys?” Darius asks. “Thought you were a backcountry kid.”

“Excuse me, Joan Jett sang that song better, thank you very much,” Katniss informs them.

“You would like the chick rock version, Everdeen,” Holmes joins in.

“Coming around Elliot now,” Peeta warns her.

“I see him.”

“Are we not gonna talk about this Beach Boys action in our radios?”

“After the checkers,” Peeta reminds them.

“Surfs up, dude,” Katniss says and jerks the wheel left then right. Someone laughs in her ear. Cato swerves behind her and she catches back up to Johanna while he’s regaining control.

“Nice. He’s gonna make another attempt. Probably tap your bumper first.”

They’re in turn two when he does. The whole car lurches and Katniss fights her fading tires, barely keeps control.

“Jesus fuck! What the hell? That wasn’t a tap!”

“He just got an official warning.”

“Warning my ass! It’ll be over before they do a damn thing!”

“Katniss.”

“What?”

“He’s going high.”

“Not today, fucker.” All it takes is a short feint towards him to freak him out. He hits the wall and she drops to avoid the rebound, sailing through turn three and glaring at Johanna’s rear end. 

Cato’s not done with her yet, though. She blocks him twice more before he tries to put her in the wall. She scrapes it and cuts in front of him, slamming the door on him as she crosses the line second.

“You’re staying late to help me clean up that shit on the right side,” Peeta says over the cheers in her ear.

“You told me to block.”

“Get in here,” he orders. She smacks the steering wheel and does as he says, planning to give him an earful. She brings the car in and he lowers the net, unfastens her Hans device as she removes gloves and her helmet to glare up at him.

“So what do those headlines say now?”

“So long boys. The girls are taking over this town,” Peeta grins and she shoves her gear at his chest. He takes it and then helps her from the car. Johanna’s car returns in a plume of celebratory smoke and Katniss scowls at her so-called teammate. “Now go congratulate her, smile for the cameras, and play nice.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” she whispers.

“Hate me later. Get going.”

It’s not all that bad. Johanna greets her with a squeal and a huge hug, like they’re friends or do this all the time. Questions and answers are shouted back and forth as they pose.

From the corner of her eye, Katniss catches a commotion back by her car, distracting her from Johanna. The crowds split just enough for her to see Cato’s snarling face. She can’t hear what he’s yelling or who it’s directed at until he turns to leave. Someone shifts enough for her to find Peeta, stern face and standing stock still. Cato spins back around and decks Peeta right in the jaw, his head whipped back with the force of the blow, body staggering.

Katniss yells and shouts erupt as bodies scramble to contain the fight. She pushes her way through to Peeta and stands in front of him as officials drag Cato away, her pit crew hurling insults in his wake.

“Peeta,” she says and turns around to check on him. “Let me see.”

“I’m fine.”

“We need some ice,” Katniss tells Darius. He nods and hurries off while she tilts Peetas head to check for any other bruises. There aren’t any she can see and when Darius returns with the ice, she takes it and presses it gently to his jaw.

“At least it was a fist and not a shotgun,” Peeta says. She freezes for a second and then laughs.

“We should get him to infield care,” someone suggests.

 

* * *

“Oooh, Daddy you have a boo-boo,” Raven says and climbs into his lap. She turns his face and drops two kisses onto the nasty bruise on his jaw. “Better?”

“Yes. Thanks, sweetie.”

“Mommy,” Raven says. “Daddy should stay with us tonight so we can make sure he’s okay.”

“Alright Mr. Mellark, you’re all set to go,” the nurse tells him and they walk out, the three of them huddled close with Aunt Laverne in trail. At one point, fury takes over Raven’s face and she scurries up higher in Peeta’s arms to shout over his shoulder at Cato.

“You are not a nice person!” Katniss has to cover her mouth to hide her snorts. Aunt Laverne doesn’t even try.

 

* * *

“He took a punch for me,” Katniss explains and motions back towards her trailer. “Raven was worried about him.”

“I saw the fight, Katniss. He didn’t get hit that hard,” Thom says. 

“I wasn’t going to tell my daughter she couldn’t look after her father after he’d been hurt!”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point? I fail to see how I’ve done anything wrong.”

“I tried to overlook the whole sexually charged rant you went on at dinner about his hands, but Katniss come on. The guy clearly still has feelings for you. And I’m not entirely convinced you don’t still have feelings for him.”

“He’s my friend and a teammate and we happened to have a kid together six years ago.”

“Exactly. Would you be okay if I had an ex-girlfriend stay the night? Knowing that I’ve had sex with her?”

“I can’t change what happened in the past, Thom. What do you want me to do?”

“Katniss, I love you. And I love your daughter. I’m just not sure that I’m okay with all this...togetherness. I feel like I’m sharing you with someone else.”

She steps back and crosses her arms over her chest. “You don’t have a choice in this. You will always have to share me with Raven.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“And Peeta is part of the package with Raven. He is a member of my family. Either deal with that, or don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 next week! Most of chapter 6 was included in the version submitted to ms2sl for August 2018. There will be a handful of additional, brand new to you scenes included in the version posted here. Yes, yes, to those of you who read it for ms2sl, I have corrected the one big complaint you all had with it. Bring your poker face next week. <3 KDNFB


	6. RACE RESTART

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this on m2sl, most of this is stuff you've already seen. New scenes at the end.

She sits off to the side and listens in to the chatter as they discuss the setup for the car. Speed and aerodynamics that become more important on a super speedway. A fraction of an inch can unsettle an entire profile, and they’re determined to get it right. As best they can, at least. They’ve been working on it for weeks already and now they’re down to the wire.

Someone behind her clears their throat and she turns around to face them.

“Hey, Katniss, uh...I have a favor to ask if you don’t mind,” Holmes says as he takes off his ball-cap and scratches the back of his head.

“What’s up?”

“It’s my daughter. She’s a, well she’s a bit of a fan of yours and she’ll be at the race on Saturday with a bunch of friends. Any chance you might be able to spare a few minutes to meet her?”

“I’d love to, Holmes. What’s her name?”

 

* * *

“That was a good meal,” Aunt Laverne says from her position on the couch. Peeta washes, handing clean dishes to Katniss to dry. She hands them to Raven to put away. When the dishes are put away, they move into the living room and play board games until Raven’s eyes start to droop. Peeta carries her to bed and Katniss follows. Together they tuck her in and she sighs, the sound soft and content.

Katniss pauses in the doorway and watches Raven slip into the land of dreams. Just for a moment and then she and Peeta return to the living room.

“I’m uh, sorry about what happened with Thom,” Peeta says as they put away the board games. Aunt Laverne seems to have disappeared, leaving her and Peeta to clean up the mess together.

“It was coming anyways. I’m not sure when...whatever, we weren’t working right together for awhile. It was just easier to ignore when I only saw him once or twice a week, you know?

“I suppose so. Still feel bad.”

“It’s not like you asked Cato to punch you,” she says and he nods. They finish cleaning up and he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

“I better head out.”

“Or...stay for awhile,” Katniss suggests.

 

* * *

When she wakes, there are hands soothing over her hair and a deep voice reassuring her. The visions of the night flicker and fade in her mind. Her breathing and her pulse slow to the cadence of his sleepy murmurs.

“Just a bad dream. It was just a dream.”

He doesn’t promise that she’s perfectly safe because that’s a dumb thing to promise anyone, and yet she relaxes into his hold and knows somehow that she is perfectly safe. Right here.

 

* * *

A rush of cold air startles her awake and she finds herself facing a glaring Aunt Laverne, holding a blanket in her clenched fist.

“What the--?” Peeta asks from behind her and Katniss bolts up off the couch. Scorched by the feel of his arms around her all night and his hands soothing her.

“Well at least you’re both clothed. You two need to be careful how you do this or you’re going to confuse the hell out of your child.”

“Shit,” Peeta says as he glances at his watch. He mutters apologies and hurries out of the house. Into the first grey streaks of dawn. They didn’t do anything. Just sat on the couch, talking late into the night. So then why this hollow ache? Katniss crosses her arms over her middle, hoping it’ll stop the emptiness spreading in her chest. Halt the wish that he hadn’t run out of there so fast.

“Baby girl…” Aunt Laverne says, shaking her head as they listen to Peeta’s truck drive away.

 

* * *

“I thought Holmes said it was his daughter and a few friends,” Katniss says as her knees lock and she comes to a screeching halt. “That is not a few friends.”

Peeta smiles at the group she points out and nudges her towards them. “Nope. That’s an army. Go say hello to them.”

There’s at least a dozen girls in an assortment of braids, dark sunglasses that hide their eyes, black nail polish. Shirts in every imaginable hue of hot pink or electric blue. One of them has rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and has a set of black raven wings, bracketing a number 36 drawn on her arm.

“Oh I hope that’s temporary,” Katniss says quietly and Peeta laughs.

“Katniss, do you have a quick minute?” She turns her head towards the voice. A reporter lugging a microphone, a cameraman in his wake.

“Nope. Sorry,” she says and escapes into the small crowd of teenage girls.

 

* * *

Once the initial shock and thrill wears off, the girls become talkative. There’s talk of racing and cars and how much they’ve loved watching Katniss this year. It shifts into their parents and the things they make their daughters feel like they can or can’t do. Manicure tips slip in there somehow and the girls want to know all about Raven, too.

Katniss is so engrossed in talking to them, that she’s startled when someone taps her shoulder. “Oh, hi Holmes!”

“It’s about time to head towards pit row,” he reminds her and she nods.

“Right.” Half a dozen sets of arms embrace her and someone asks for a quick picture. It’s a flurry of smiles and then she’s walking towards her car, in step with Holmes. She can feel his eyes on her and fixes a scowl back on her face.

“Thank you,” he says.

“I probably enjoyed that a little too much,” Katniss admits.

“And now the real fun begins,” he tells her and she smiles as her pit crew pulls back the tarp that protected the car from a brief, early morning shower.

 

* * *

“Important question for you, Everdeen.”

“This better be good, Darius. We’re about to restart.”

“It is. Who sang it better--”

“Seriously?”

“--  _ I Can’t Get No Satisfaction _ .”

She can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous conversation. “I’m gonna have to go with Britney.”

“You disrespect the Stones?!”

“Darius, clear the line so we can talk about what happens when that green flag drops.”

“Yes, sir,” Darius mumbles.

“Alright, now that we have that out of our systems,” Mitchell says. “You’re gonna have Mason right behind you on the restart.”

Collective swearing ensues and Katniss rolls her eyes. “So are we teammates today or should I watch my back?”

“Both.”

“Both is good.”

“Not helping, Darius.”

“I leave you all for two weeks and it’s chaos when I get back. Okay listen up. She may try to draft. She may also try to spin you out.”

“And tonight on the track, strategy roulette!”

“Place your bets!”

Mitchell curses at whoever interrupted again, something about radio discipline, but Katniss swears there’s laughter in his gruff voice. Confirmed when he reminds them that in roulette, you always bet on black. Her eyes flick down to her gloves, knowing that beneath them, her fingernails are painted black.

The lights on the pace car stop flashing and cars cease their serpentine swerving, falling into their lines. Katniss catches a glimpse of Johanna’s neon purple car in her mirror and takes a deep breath. She’s in fourth right now, but with a little help from Johanna, they could repeat their one-two finish from two weeks ago. It all depends on how cooperative Johanna is feeling.

“Ready. Ready. Go,” Mitchell says as they come around turn four. The steady drone of forty engines rises up, a swarm of speed. Katniss stays focused on the car in front of her and when Hodgkins says she’s clear low, she drops down to pass.

“Ahh,” she says nervously as the car picks up speed, even though she hasn’t pushed the pedal any further.

“Mason’s drafting. Just hold the line and see how far you two can take this.”

“And watch out for the sling-shot,” someone adds.

There’s dead silence on the radio for the next lap. She’s got one more car in front of her, but with Johanna pushing, they sail right past.

She keeps waiting for Johanna to drop out from behind her and take the lead, but instead they just keep going, lengthening their lead.

“Last turn,” Mitchell tells her. “Hodgkins, what’s it look like up there?”

“She’s dropping low.”

Only it’s too late.

The checkers wave and there’s cheering in her ears. It takes her a full lap to slow down and her heart is still pounding when Mitchell delivers the official ruling. Everdeen in first, Mason in second. She’s in a daze through the celebrations and before she knows what’s happening, she’s in Victory Lane with confetti raining down on her. Johanna is there, crushing her close and speaking right in her ear.

“Now we’re even, slut.”

“For now, bitch,” Katniss answers and Johanna laughs as she releases her.

“I’m buying first round. Darius knows where, alright?”

 

* * *

The bar is stuffed and Katniss leans sideways in her seat, trying to catch her breath. They’ve been swapping horror stories for the past half hour, and Katniss can’t stop laughing. It’s wonderful to have someone who knows. Who’s been there and through it.

“Unzip that suit just a little more, honey.”

“That’s too much machine for a little girl like her to handle.”

“Could you eat the burger more...sexy?”

“Shouldn’t you be making a sandwich?”

“Can you even reach the pedals?”

“Oh! I had one ask me if my hands were big enough to hold the steering wheel!”

“And why are the drivers’ wives the worst of all?”

“Oh honey, how do you have any time for your baby with all this?”

“Well I’m just such a homebody, I don’t know how any woman could stand to work this much.”

“No man wants a woman who can drive better than him.”

“And yet, they all suspect you’ve been sleeping with their husband,” Johanna hisses under her breath.

When Darius stops by to drop off another round for them, he glances warily between them. “I would like to apologize for my fellow men and beg for mercy on my testicles.”

Johanna shoves his laughing face away while Katniss snorts. “I should probably stop drinking.”

“Not yet, Everdeen. I have questions and I want them answered. New topic!”

“Shoot!” Katniss says and giggles.

“Your prime and fine blonde gearhead.” Katniss sobers at Johanna’s words.

“What about him?”

“Calm your tits, honey. I don’t want him for his wrenches or his skill with cars. Okay, I actually do but I’m not dumb enough to believe that I could ever pry him out of your claws, mechanically speaking.”

“I’m not even sure what that means.”

“I’m interested in his other tool and how he wields it.”

“I don’t follow,” Katniss growls and Johanna grins.

“Come on, Brainless. We all know he’s your baby daddy, which means that unless Raven is a sperm bank baby…” she waits for Katniss to shake her head in denial before continuing. “At some point, you’ve sampled his dipstick, he’s revved your engine, you’ve checked his pistons, he’s lubed the gears, oiled the cylinders, honked your honkers--”

“Oh my god please stop,” Katniss says and covers her eyes, regretting ever thinking that Johanna might become a friend.

“Why? I’ve got a hundred of these. Burned rubber, filled the tank, gone to victory lane, traded paint, redlined, worn out the tires, buffed the hood--”

“Fine! Yes! We did! What do you want?”

“I wanna know if he’s worth the effort. If he’s as skilled beneath the sheets as he is beneath a hood.”

“Seriously? He just came off a breakup.”

“Even better. Rebound sex!” Johanna snaps her fingers and dances in her seat. “So spill the beans. Can he rock the shocks?”

“It was one night and we were sixteen,” Katniss says and lifts her drink to her mouth. “Pretty sure I’m not the best judge of that anymore.”

“You’re avoiding the question. Oh buddy!” Johanna smacks the table and Katniss jumps in surprise.

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are. The question is, why? Afraid to bash him cause he’s so nice? Afraid to praise him and remember just how good it was? Hot young bodies thrusting and gyrating and--”

“It sucked! Okay? Are you happy now? Worst sex of my life _ and _ it got me pregnant at sixteen.”

Johanna flicks a peanut shell across the table and smirks. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re a terrible liar?”

“Jo--”

“The best part is...he’s probably only gotten better with age and experience. Ta-ta, Brainless. Your loss is my gain!” She slinks from the booth and saunters over to where Peeta is talking to Blight, one of Johanna’s crew, and a few of the others. She stands up close to Peeta and draws his attention to her by running her fingernails over his forearm.

Katniss groans and finishes her beer, pays her tab, and disappears into the night. The last thing she wants to witness tonight is Johanna seducing Peeta.

The taxi drops her off at the track and she wanders the infield for awhile, trying to clear her head of the alcohol buzz. Only the walk has the opposite effect of calming her down. By the time she reaches her trailer, she’s sober and furious. At herself for not stepping in and stopping Johanna’s flirtations. At him for accepting them. 

For putting this feeling in her chest and working his way under her skin. Into her family, her heart. She yanks the door open and jumps back as Peeta steps out.

“What are you doing here?”

“Came to check on you. When I turned around, you were gone, and I didn’t know where you went.”

She catches the scents on his skin. None of them are Johanna’s almost overpowering floral perfume. Other than the general smell of bar they just came from, the rest belong to him. Even the faint smell of car oils and grease. There’s no sign of Johanna’s fuschia lip gloss on his face or neck or anywhere that she can see. Katniss sways on her feet as relief courses through her.

“Oh.”

“Did you just...did you just sniff me?” he asks and she scowls at him, avoids answering that.

“I figured you’d be spending the night with Johanna.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I dunno. She was...interested.” Katniss waves her hands around and stares at his chest. “And flirting.”

“Just because she was interested in me, doesn’t mean I’m interested in her.”

“Why not? Don’t you think she’s hot?”

“Katniss,” he says quietly and she leans towards him, eyes glued to his lips as he says her name. She’s certain he’s going to kiss her and tilts her head in anticipation. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to bed now.”

“Alone?” she asks as he steps around her and she spins around fast to watch him walk away.

“Alone.”

 

* * *

Standing at her kitchen window, she can watch Raven and Peeta together outside. They’ve finally finished building the playground and Raven is busy testing out her new slide. Prim is home for the last few days of summer and sits in the kitchen, filling the air with chatter about her classes and life on campus and how she’s excited to get back.  Aunt Laverne laughs and asks questions in all the right places. The sounds of them talking fades into the background until Katniss loses track of the conversation. She doesn’t notice when Prim heads outside to join the fun with her niece until she walks into Katniss’ line of sight. Until Laverne stands beside her and watches too for a moment.

“Don’t wait too long, baby girl. Or someone else is gonna see what you do and act faster.”

 

* * *

She pauses to sign an autograph and talk to someone wearing her face on a shirt. It’s garish and makes her scoff quietly to herself, but the man is at least polite and doesn’t try to touch her. The standard is set so low, she thinks with a roll of her eyes behind dark lenses and files that one away to share with Johanna.

Johanna, who oddly enough, didn’t seem too put out by Peeta rejecting her advances several weeks ago and has almost become like a friend to Katniss.

Telling the man to enjoy the race, she steps away and nearly trips over her own feet. 

Two slow steps and she’s face to face with her ghost. The girl in the braid with hazel eyes and black fingernail polish. She’s wearing the same hot pink shirt, although it’s faded from what Katniss remembers.

“Hi,” she says as she stands in front of the girl. “I love your shirt.”

The girl smiles shyly and her mother nudges her. “Say ‘Hello,’ Rue.”

“Hello,” Rue says.

“We saw you race in Fairwood one night and Rue was just in awe. After that, any time you were at a nearby track, she wanted to be there.”

“We made the shirts ourselves.”

“They’re so much better than the shirts you can buy in the store,” Katniss says. “And I think that makes you my longest running fan.” Rue smiles, the expression warm and playful.

She signs Rue’s shirt and poses for a picture, talks for a few minutes with both mother and daughter. Discovers that Rue’s mother, Olivia, is actually a foster mother, a single working Mom at that.

It doesn’t take much, just a few minutes of talking and then Rue mentions that she’s building her own go-kart racer but most of the boys where she lives started racing and building cars much earlier than her.

“I’m having to play catch up,” Rue says and Katniss shakes her head.

“I spent almost two years not racing at all when my daughter was born. You can catch up no problem,” Katniss reassures her and smiles. “And when you do, just keep going.”

Olivia mentions the struggle of funding Rue’s interest when money is already tight for a family of five. “We’re only here today because of a radio call in show. Rue knew the name of your first car.”

“Do you still drive Alimony?”

“I haven’t in a while, but I’ve got her in my garage at home, all fixed up and ready to race if that day ever comes again.”

There’s a shift in the mood of the crowd that tells Katniss she needs to get going. Rue reaches across the barrier and hugs Katniss.

“Tell Raven I said ‘hi’?”

“I will,” Katniss says and hesitates before finally making a choice. “I’m so glad I finally saw you again. I’ve been looking for you since last year.”

“Really?”

“Really. Seeing you then...helped me. So, thank you. Plus that awesome shirt.”

 

* * *

She shares her idea with Peeta first. It may take years to get it off the ground, but he’s enthusiastic and calls Haymitch so they can talk details with him and see if he’s got any recommendations for lawyers to help get a non-profit foundation up and running.

“I’ve got just the person for you. Her name’s Cressida,” Haymitch says and Katniss eagerly writes down the woman’s number.

They speak with her assistant, who isn’t sure who Katniss is at all, but likes the idea they briefly outline and assures them that Cressida will get back to them soon.

 

* * *

“So, Everdeen. You’re having a heck of a season.” Katniss smirks and keeps walking as Lawrence Marvel falls into step beside her. “You thinking about your future in racing yet?”

“I’m always thinking about my future in racing,” she says and he laughs.

“I like that. I’ve got something you might like, too,” he says as they reach her garage bay.

“You sound awful confident.”

“Well I can afford to be when it’s a spot on a Victor’s Cup team I’m talking about.”

That gets her attention and she stands still to face him, crosses her arms and waits for the rest of his explanation.

“You’re a rare bird, Katniss. You’re popular with a decent sized fan base, a clean driver, only a few minor hints of scandal, just enough to be interesting. Not to mention smoking hot both on and off the track.”

“Your point is?” she asks, ignoring the lines he just tried to drop.

“The point is, Heavensbee tried to move Mason up to Cup and got burned by it. We all know it’s because he picked the wrong woman for the job, but now that he’s got the right woman for the job, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna risk another burn anytime soon. You could be languishing down here for years...or you could sign with me and play in the Big Kids’ league in about two years from now.”

“What’s in it for you?” she asks and he smiles, leans towards her.

“You tell me,” he whispers. 

He was vaguely attractive until that moment, but now the sight of his leer sickens her. A chance at a spot on a Victor’s Cup team is still difficult to pass up, though. Tuition paid. For both Raven and Prim. Mortgage settled. Foundation started.

“I’ll consider it,” she says and he steps away from her with a wink.

“You do that, Katniss. I’ll be around.”

Katniss watches Marvel as he leaves, waving once when he turns around and smiles at her. As soon as he’s gone, she releases a slow breath.

“He’s using you, ya know that right?” 

“Jesus!” She jumps in shock but calms down at the sound of wheels on concrete as her brain places the voice. Katniss glares down at Peeta, only his head poking out from beneath the car. “What the fuck, Peeta? What are you doing here?”

“My job,” he says and emerges the rest of the way to stand in front of her. He’s got grease mingled with sweat on his face and arms, and his hair is damp near the scalp, turning his curls dark. His coveralls are tied around his waist and his black tank top stretches across his pecs.

Her brow furrows and she shakes her head to clear it of a buzzing, nagging need. “You coulda at least told me you were down there.”

“And interrupt such a touching moment? Now that wouldn’t’ve been very gentlemanly now would it?” He asks with a hand on his chest, like she’s somehow wounded him. Then something occurs to her. Maybe she did. A small thrill goes through her at the possibility.

“Are you jealous?” She asks and crosses her arms to smirk up at him.

“Hardly,” Peeta says and the denial makes her spine stiff.

“Why not?” she asks and he laughs.

“Because Lawrence Marvel is just the latest in a long line of assholes looking for something you’ll never give them.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Every driver, wrench hand, medical personnel, paper pusher, random fan who thinks he wants a chance at your attention always stops in here first. Not to talk to you, either,” he says and waves his wrench at her before tossing it into his leather tool bag. She scowls at his words.

“What do they do, ask your permission to court me?” she snarls.

“Not even close,” he says. “Some of them come to scope out the competition, even though I’ve told them all there is none where I’m concerned. Some of them want to know things about you that are none of their damned business. Others just want to see if they can intimidate me.”

“Have you been playing gatekeeper on my dating life?” she asks as anger builds inside her.

“If they can’t get past me, they don’t deserve you, Katniss.” 

“That’s kind of presumptuous of you. What exactly did Marvel say to you anyways?”

“Oh the usual. Enough for me to figure out his motives. You’re the hottest thing on the track right now and he wants a piece of that. He wants the best drivers he can get his greedy hands on, but he also wants you as arm candy. Kinda like Gloss did. You know his deal to join his team will come with complete control, right? New team, new number, new sponsors...new crew.”

“So you’re just worried about your job?” she asks and for some reason, it hurts.

“No, not really.”

“Maybe you should be,” she threatens but it doesn’t work. Peeta always could see through her bluster.

“Doubtful. I was here before Marvel and I’ll be here after him. Just like I was here before Gloss and after him. And Thom, and to some degree even Gale, and you know why? Because no one else can make your car run the way you want it to. You don’t trust anyone else to make her purr. Because you don’t trust anyone the way that you trust me. You need me, Katniss. I just don’t want another greedy sleaze ball hurting you and Raven to prove it.”

She snaps and steps towards him to spit her next words in his face. “Is it really that hard to believe someone would want me for who I am and not what I can give them?”

“No, that part’s easy to believe,” Peeta says and her pulse flutters uncomfortably in her chest. His eyes dip to her mouth for a second and he seems to be struggling to say something. It comes out in a whisper. “Incredibly easy.”

His head tilts towards her and he sucks in a breath before halting. He brings the world to a halt with him. His eyes lift back to stare into hers. She stands stock still and waits for the world to keep turning but instead, he turns away from her to return to working on her car.

 

* * *

The box splits as she tries to open it and pasta flies everywhere. With a sigh, Katniss throws her hands up in the air. Smacks them down on the counter to take a few deep breaths.

“Air it now,” Aunt Laverne says.

“Air what?”

“Whatever’s got you all spun up.”

“It’s nothing.”

“You were twitchy all weekend and now you’re abusing the spaghetti. It ain’t nothin’. So air it.”

“I already know what you’re going to say.”

“Try me.”

She heaves a sigh and spills it all. All the confusing messed up thoughts running circles in her head. The odd way Peeta acted over her brush with Marvel and how much it infuriated her.

“Oh baby girl. You are still good with cars and have no idea how to read men. He’s not worried about being replaced in the garage. He’s worried about losing his family. Being replaced in your heart. Don’t get me wrong, he loves working on your race cars, but he’d be just as content working on someone else’s if it weren’t for the fact that we are now his family. What exists outside the race track between the three of you, between just you and him...that’s what he’s afraid of losing, baby girl.”

“Then why all that talk about me needing him to take care of my cars?”

“Well honey, that’s what you’ve made him think he’s here for. Your cars and your daughter.”

“He’s my friend too.”

“Uh-huh. The thing is, if you go to another owner without him, in some way, he loses both you and Raven, if only a little. So this Marvel character offering things to you is a real threat to Peeta.”

“I wouldn’t leave him. He has to know that.”

“Clearly he don’t.” Katniss scoops up some of the spaghetti, breaks it in half and dumps it in the boiling water, her mind churning. “I know you need to go at your own pace, but maybe the problem is his pace is different. You two need to get synched up or you’ll just keep missing each other.”

 

* * *

Her first meeting with Cressida goes well. They outline plans and discuss accounting firms to potentially hire. The start up costs are daunting and Katniss knows she’ll need to put in some work. If this is going to work, she’ll have to be a spokesperson.

But it’s worth it.

A home and grant foundation for displaced young girls. Children bounced around the foster system or caught in the net of poverty who can’t afford to dream. She can’t change their parentage or all of their home situations but she can fund their cars or their first set of tools. Trade school tuition or practice time on tracks. Engineering courses for those who are more interested in the design of the cars.

She’s running late and has to change in the ladies’ room at the hotel. A fancy dinner for the drivers and sponsors as the season winds down. 

Heavensbee Motorsports already presented her with a five year contract, and at first she balked, thinking of Marvel’s comment about her languishing in Tribute League rather than moving her up to Cup. 

Until she found it on page 24. A clause providing for moving her up to Victor’s Cup anytime during the five years should she have a championship year or a season with more than three wins. Or if Plutarch decides she’s ready. Whichever happens first.

It’s not perfect, but she’d rather stay with Heavensbee and the team she’s built than start all over. From the bottom with no respect. Back to being the little girl who couldn’t possibly handle that much horsepower and proving to her team that she deserves their respect. Having to fight to keep her family together. So after she and Haymitch went through it with a fine tooth comb, she signed.

Because Peeta was right. She won’t race on a team unless he’s there too. Because she wants him there. Because it’s the best way to ensure their small family has as much time together as possible.

The dinner is long and boring and makes her want to curl up in bed. Instead she picks up coffee and doughnuts and swings by her racing headquarters to check in with the guys. They’ve been hauling ass trying to get all three cars ready for the upcoming month of races, the last brutal push. She’s within range of a championship year and they’re doing everything they can to make it possible.

“Yo! Katniss brought food!” Darius yells as she walks in, her heels echoing off the tile floor and stark white walls of the work areas. She spends a few minutes talking to them, but really she’s only interested in talking to one person here.

She finds him standing under a car that’s up on a lift. “I brought coffee and food,” she tells him.

“I heard. I just want to finish one thing,” Peeta says.

She sets aside her shawl and slips out of her heels, braids her hair and ties it back before joining him under the car. “Can I help?”

“I need a three eighths and an extra set of hands. You distracted my buddy with food. How was the dinner?”

“Pretentious.” She retrieves the socket he needs and then helps hold pieces in place while he tightens and ratchets things down. “I signed the extension today,” she tells him and he pauses for just a second.

“You happy with it?”

“Yes.”

They work in silence for a moment and then she takes a deep breath. “Peeta, can I ask you something?”

“You know you can.”

“We’ve been checking things off my plan for two years now. Race team, moved out of Seam, tuition for Prim, nice house, Aunt Laverne retired...”

“Doing pretty good at it too, I’d say. Are you barefoot?”

“You try wearing those heels.”

“No thank you,” he says with a smile. “Just watch your toes. So what’s next on the plan?”

“I wanted to ask you that.”

“Huh?”

“What do you want next, Peeta?”

His hand jerks and he swears, yanks it down and holds it to his chest. “You can let go of that. It should be secure.”

She already has, though, reaching for his hand to check the scrapes across his knuckles where he caught a sharp edge.

“Come here,” she says and leads him across the garage to the first aid kit. She wipes the scrapes with an antiseptic and he winces, tries to pull his hand away from her until she scowls at him. “I need to clean them so they don’t get infected.”

Peeta holds still for her then. When she’s done wiping them down, she blows air over the scrapes to help them dry faster. She moves to search the kit for some bandages. He’s close to her. Much closer than she’d thought. His head bent so his forehead brushes her temple. His breaths tickle her senses and make her search difficult. She manages, though.

“You didn’t answer my question,” she whispers as she bandages the cuts.

“You don’t want to hear what I want next,” he whispers. “What I’ve...always wanted but never thought I could have.”

He nuzzles the shell of her ear and a thousand moments burst to life in her mind. A thousand colorful blooms preserved in her heart, remembrance of all the times he’s shown her, loved her in ways that might not be glamorous, but down in the grime with her. Not a fairytale but something real and beautiful for all the filth that comes with them.

She kisses his knuckles. One at a time. When she reaches the last one, he whispers her name. She waits for the world to speed up. For the rush of wind to blow the petals off her memories. Then she stops waiting and lifts her head to press her lips to his. A soft brush of summer’s warmth and starlight. And when she pulls back, the only thing speeding at breakneck pace is her heart.

Peeta takes a deep breath and he lifts his uninjured hand to caress her cheek, to bring her lips back to his. 

Her breath stutters and then evens out as his lips move with hers, setting a slow, languid pace that melts her knees. Hot as rubber on the tracks.

This time, when Peeta lifts his head, she opens her eyes to stare into his blues. They study her face, searching and then wincing. His thumb brushes frantically over her cheek.

“I got dirt on your face.” He apologizes and she smiles, takes his bandaged hand in hers and moves it to cover her breast.

“Put your filthy hands all over me, Peeta,” she says and brings his mouth back down to hers.

The air ignites in her lungs, pulsing through her blood to the tips of her being. He holds her close as they kiss. Their hands tugging her dress down and a moan vibrating between them when his bare skin covers hers. She tugs on his hair and thrusts her tongue in his mouth. He lifts her and takes two steps, dropping her on a tall stool. She wraps her arms and legs around him and then his hand slides up her thigh, fingers toying with her panties. Teasing and caressing promises into her skin that she wants fulfilled. She’s caught in the swarm of feeling and the relief of knowing they’ve matched their pace, swept away at speeds that preclude thought or awareness until a loud laugh and the clank of metal from the work area next door breaks through the blur.

Peeta pulls away, breathing hard and eyes wide as she realizes she must look a mess. And this is not the place for them to be making out like they’re still sixteen. 

“Shit,” she mutters and Peeta helps her off the stool. She tugs her dress back into place and he shoves her heels and clutch into her hands as she scurries behind one of the tool chests and sinks to her haunches, hidden from view.

She remains there, panting and holding her hand over her heart, hoping the touch will slow it’s frantic pace. Cataloguing the streaks of grime on her body from where Peeta touched her. On her cheek and her neck. A massive hand print over her breast, the edges visible over the low neckline of her dress. Up and down her thighs. His voice reaches her, talking shop with whoever just joined him. Knowing that if anyone sees her, it won’t take much to put it all together, she slips between tool chests, unseen. The coffee and doughnuts have been consumed and she lucks out this time. No one sees her as she leaves the building.

 

* * *

Sitting in her kitchen, scrubbed clean of makeup and the marks Peeta’s fingers painted over skin, Katniss bites her nails and listens to the faint sounds of the night. Raven and Aunt Laverne have long since gone to bed, leaving her with thoughts and hopes. Her left hand spins her phone on the counter, wondering if he’ll call tonight or leave her waiting until the morning.

She hates waiting by the phone and decides to do something, pulls out some of the paperwork that Cressida handed her and begins making notes. Works until her neck aches and she stands to stretch, thinking maybe she should just go to bed when the familiar rumble of his truck approaches the house.

Katniss meets him on the porch and leans against one of the posts, waiting for him to speak first. He lifts one hand, her shawl dangling from his fingertips and disappointment rising up inside her. He only came to return it. 

She reaches for it and he snatches his hand back, tilts his head teasingly and smiles at her. Wide enough to show off his dimple. She crosses her arms and quirks one eyebrow at him. “You never answered my question.”

He climbs the last step and gazes down at her. He drapes the shawl around her shoulders, uses it to pull her against his chest. She releases her arms to grab handfuls of his shirt and stare up at him.

“What do I want next?”

“Mm-hmmm.”

“I want to wake in the morning tomorrow, roll over, and kiss you awake,” he says and her breath catches. “I want to see Raven run into the kitchen, excited to begin the day and wondering what’s for breakfast. I want to be here when she catches the bus and wave to her from the end of the driveway. Blow her kisses so she knows how much I love her before she goes to school. I want to hold you in the rain, the sunshine, through every season and every step of our lives. I want to whisper in your ear how radiant you are and how you make air scarce every time you smile at me or laugh. I want to kiss you, love you, fall asleep beside you every night. I want to have silly fights with you, over what movie we’re going to watch and then spend the night making you moan my name to the sky instead when we can’t agree. I want to build that car in the garage with you and our daughter, then make love to you on the finished hood late one night. I want to watch Raven grow and blossom and fight for what she wants. I want a chance to hold a newborn baby with your eyes, to be there for every step of that journey, but I understand if you don’t want that. Raven is more than enough. I want to wake up one morning and realize we’ve grown old together, with a fridge covered in art and pictures. So many that we have to start covering the dishwasher or the walls. I want the muck and the grime of life but also the starlight and the dreams, and I want it all with you Katniss.”

They haven’t blinked once since he started talking and she does so now. Once. Slow and content.

“Is that all?” she murmurs.

“I figure it’s a start.”

“Well then. Come inside and we’ll get started.”

 

* * *

Her fingers are tangled in silk and she’s sleeping on something warm like a leather seat left in the sunshine. Her cheek even sticks to it when she tries to move. She catches a familiar, comforting scent and the stroke of something broad and warm as a ray of sunshine over her back.

The night returns to her in slow turns of memory that make her smile in contentment. Awareness of not  _ what _ she’s sleeping on top of, but who. And why.

Behind closed eyelids, she remembers Peeta’s disbelieving smile as she walked backwards into the house, bringing him with her. His hands still holding her shawl secure around her shoulders, repairing the gap that’s lived between them for far too long. The transformation of disbelief to wonder then passion as they shut themselves in her room and rediscovered what she’d once thought was fleeting and impossible to recreate. One piece of clothing, one kiss at a time until they were laid bare across her sheets.

A warmth spreads up from her chest to her cheeks as she recalls the starlight in his eyes as she moved over him. No longer innocent or new, but still just as deep and awestruck. A subtle reminder that, given enough fuel and the right conditions, stars can burn steadily for millenia. 

The warmth inside her turns to heat, on the edge of combustion as she recalls how he had to cover her mouth with his hand to prevent her moans from waking the household as she did exactly what he asked of her in a strained whisper.

_ Make us come, Katniss. Please. Please make us both come _ .

She relives the night in slow motion, her body awakening with each image, making it impossible to resist any longer. Morning birds already sing outside and soon alarm clocks will start ringing. Her lips feather over his neck and he stirs beneath her with a soft groan.

“Hey,” Peeta murmurs, the deep vibrations of his morning voice calling out to her. She shifts to straddle him, and keeps kissing his neck and shoulders as his hands roam her back, down to cup her ass, fueling the growing fire within her heart. “What time is it?”

“Time for you to wake up. And since I’m kissing you awake, that means you can’t cross that item off your list yet,” she says and glances up in time to see his smile. Bright and happy and dimpled.

“Guess I’ll just have to stay another night,” he says as her hips begin to roll over him, her kisses traveling up over his jaw.

“Looks that way,” she says before joining their lips. They move in slow synchronization, his cock growing hard beneath her as they kiss and she grinds on him. His hands slip beneath her sleep clothes to grasp and help. She whimpers once and then gasps as she’s flipped onto her back.

“Only fair, since you got to have the lead last night,” Peeta murmurs as he kisses down her torso, pushing her shirt up enough to nuzzle her belly then cover it with more kisses.

“You weren’t complaining,” she reminds him with a smile and a small thrill of memory over the quiet but erotic sounds he made last night with her mouth on his cock. The way he couldn’t hold still, motion proof of their long smothered needs.

“Fuck, never,” he vows and she arches into the suction on her breast, mouth hanging open as she chokes off the noise she wants to make. Time becomes unimportant and unmeasured. His mouth and hands move on, further down her body, out of her reach. She grabs hold of sheets and twisted blankets as he slides shorts and panties from her, his lips and palms caressing her legs.

“Oh,” she moans as he spreads her knees on the bed. “Peeta. Please?”

“I’m yours. Always,” he says right before his tongue swirls deep into her folds. Slides out and he sucks on her clit for just a second, hands massaging up to her breasts. Back down to hold her in place. She has to bite her lip to contain the high pitched notes leaving her throat and still that only muffles them. Her hands grip onto his hair, threading through and tangling with the silk strands. 

“I want to spend all morning tasting you. Fuck, so good.” He moans into her and continues, working her into higher gears of pleasure. His fingers joining in. Adjusting to each tiny sound and motion of her hips. She’s writhing and quietly begging when he closes his lips around her clit and sucks hard. Again and again.

“Yes!” she cries out as her body jerks once, rigid and frozen, release burning through her in one quick stroke that leaves her limp.

She’s panting and trembling as he moves. Removes the last of their clothing. Her shirt takes some work, but they finally get it off. Needing to touch him, she wraps one hand around his arm as he holds himself over her. He drags the tip of his cock through her folds, soaked with release and the remains of a desire that still burns within her.

“Put your legs around me,” he whispers and she lifts them, drops her feet heavily on his lower back as he smiles down at her. The expression quickly changes to stunned pleasure as he slides inside her, filling her deep. She bites her lip to hold back a joke about how he clearly knows that well lubricated cylinders run better.

“Fucking amazing,” he whispers as he caresses her cheek, his thumb tracing her bottom lip, prying it free of her teeth, then caressing the top lip. Peeta leans forward to kiss her once. So slow that her vision hazes over, an imitation of speed but infinitely more thrilling as her heart pounds, her body tightens in anticipation, drawing him closer. Her foot twitches, eager to slam down on the accelerator as he rises just enough to rest his forehead on hers and separate their lips.

“Please?” she asks again as he shifts his hips away from hers in a slow stroke.

He slams back into her and pauses, watches her respond — the arch of her back, pushing her hips into his, forcing him deeper. The wide eyed, wide mouthed expression of need. The soft sound she makes, begging him and spurring him on. Her fingers rake down his arms as he moves, then spear into his hair and pull his face into her neck to kiss her and whisper between thrusts. Hard motions spaced far enough apart to drive her frantic with anticipation and need in the lull between.

“I want to see you,” he whispers after a few minutes and sits back on his knees. Deprived of his hair, her hands search for something else to hold onto and settle on gripping the pillow beneath her head. 

The new angle has her flying high in seconds, teetering on the brink as she gasps and tells him to keep going, just like that. She watches the flex of muscles in his torso and arms. 

“I’m not gonna be able to stop touching you now,” he whispers. His hands rove her body. His eyes, filled with love, follow where he touches.

“Don’t. Don’t stop,” she pleads.

Her name becomes a whispered groan, a desperate plea that she answers with her body as their eyes meet and hold fast. His hands leave their marks in her skin. Not visible this time, but burned into her memory. He curses and his rhythm shifts. Hands holding her hips steady with his palms cupped beneath her ass as he keeps thrusting. Faster now with a twist right at the end when he’s buried inside her. Peeta’s teeth dig into his lip and his eyes hold hers in a trance. She feels otherworldly under his gaze.

Then it’s too much and she’s stifling her own moans with one hand as heat and wonder pulse through her. His hands slide back up her body, cradling her neck for just a moment before he falls on top of her, hips grinding into hers as her walls clench him, invite him deeper. He murmurs to her that she’s beautiful in every way and that he needs to come. So badly. His words and way he sees her, the rocking of their bodies springs loose a second wave inside her, stronger than the first.

“Oh fuck! Fuck, I love you!”

Katniss wraps herself around him and bites his shoulder. Tastes the shaking of his body as he comes to rest inside her, a stunned shout of his pleasure rumbling through the pillow when he shoves his face into it to quiet the sound.

She’s trembling in his arms, gripping his back, heels dug into his ass to hold him deep inside her, heart thundering in her chest. Slowly, her legs slide off his hips and her fingers trail up over his back, his shoulder, his arms, making patterns in the sweat that covers his body. Their chests push against each other with each ragged breath. He turns his head and his lips brush soft kisses on her neck, her ear.

“Did you mean it?” he whispers. Hesitantly. His lips sending shivers of delight tripping through her. “Or was that just the heat of the moment talking?”

“I didn’t mean to say it like that,” she tells him as her breathing becomes manageable. Turning her head to face him, she slides one hand up over his back and into his hair to play with the strands. “But I meant it. I love you, Peeta.”

 

* * *

He keeps an extra set of clothes in his truck, she learns. Because his job usually leaves him dirty and sweaty and there’s no telling how much time he’ll have between turning wrenches and needing to be presentable as a member of her team, or as Raven’s dad at a school or ballet function. It comes in handy this morning and she smiles at his still damp curls, the scent of her soap on his skin as they work together in the kitchen. She makes a note to pick up a couple bottles of his soaps and shampoo at the store later today. To have in her shower whenever he might need them.

At one point, he leans over and kisses behind her ear, slides his finger through one belt loop on her jeans to pull her hips close to his. Whispers that he loves her. Loves seeing her in the soft morning light. She leans into him to lengthen the touch and shivers as his lips wander down her neck.

“Ahem,” Aunt Laverne clears her throat behind them and Katniss blushes as they both turn to face her.

“Morning, Laverne. Would you like cheese on your eggs?” Peeta asks and Laverne lifts one eyebrow at them, arms crossed as she examines their faces and posture.

“Thank you. I would,” she finally says and basically prances to her seat at the table. 

Katniss feels eyes on her as she and Peeta finish making breakfast. She ignores it, knowing that Laverne’s already figured it out and has no room to protest since she’s been pushing for this to happen since Peeta tricked Jethro-Tull Pierce into sabotaging his own car. Maybe even before that. She’d rather Aunt Laverne question her and gloat about being right later. Not in front of Peeta.

Scuffing feet on the floor announce the arrival of Raven, who’s dressed for school, but her hair is still a mess. “Good morning, baby girl,” Katniss greets her as she moves towards the table, almost zombie like.

“Morning,” Raven grumbles and plunks into the chair, propping her head up on her small fists, squishing her cheeks in comically, eyes still shut.

Katniss nudges Peeta and he takes a plate over to Raven, sets it on the table in front of her, kisses the top of her head. “Eat up and then we’ll take care of your hair,” he says.

“Okay, Daddy,” she mutters and moves to pick up her fork then freezes. Her eyes fly wide, instantly awake as she watches Peeta move back towards Katniss, next to the stove.

“So Raven, would it be alright with you if Daddy came to see us in the mornings before school every now and then?” Katniss asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week...all new content. Thanks to buttercupbadass and savvylark for their help with editing. As always, comments welcome!


	7. FINAL LAPS

They build their home the way Peeta rebuilds the car. One piece at a time in a gradual migration. First it’s the soap and the toothbrush Katniss makes sure he has in her bathroom. A handful of clothes tucked into her closet. Sparks pop and fly in the garage as he starts with the chassis and the axles, salvaging what can be saved, rebuilding what can't. Breakfasts with Raven. Waving goodbye to her as she rides off on the school bus. Holding hands as they walk back down the drive to the house. Mornings every now and then become every morning possible.

Next comes the frame and the body, most of which can be saved, but some is lost to the rust that’s taken hold and instead he has to carefully shape curves and lines from sheets of brand new metal. Meld them together and carefully grind down the seams until old can’t be differentiated from new. Eventually they have to go shopping for a chest of drawers for him to keep his clothes in because so many of them have made their way out of his townhome and into their house. Framed pictures of car engines line the foyer next to pictures of beaches they take summer vacations on. They start driving to and from work together when they’re in Charlotte, unless their schedules have them in different places that make it infeasible.

They fight about the money. It starts as a few concerned questions about why he’s stopped working on the car and he tries to avoid telling her why. The fighting begins when he finally admits he doesn’t have the money right now for the parts he needs and she reminds him that  _ she _ does. At first she thinks his reluctance to ask for help is because he’s ashamed to rely on a woman for money. Because his pride must be hurt by her paycheck being larger than his, bitter tears prick her eyes as she accuses him.

“It’s got nothing to do with that. You hate asking for money or help from anyone, too,” he reminds her. “We haven’t talked about combining our finances yet or if we even will. And I don’t want to be the next burden you have to carry. You’ve already carried too much by yourself that I should’ve been here to help with. The car can wait.”

She relents because he assures her he’s not struggling, just putting a pause on a want for the sake of taking care of needs first. And she waits patiently. A few weeks later, she suggests he not renew the lease on his townhome. Suggests it completely removed from talk of money or the unfinished car sitting in her garage because those aren’t the real reasons she suggests it. She suggests it because she wants him with her and Raven. Together. Where they belong. She makes sure he knows that. They talk about the finances after he’s moved in completely.

True to his word, Peeta can’t stop touching her. Not just in the night, although she loves how eager and giving he is as a lover, but also in the daylight hours. Soft kisses on every part of her face down to her shoulders. Sometimes on her hands when he lifts them up to his lips. Fingers woven through belt loops and back pockets to tug her close. Gentle, reassuring caresses of his hand on her back and arms. Holding her hand. Hair tucked back behind her ears. Innocent, silken brushes of fingers just beneath the edges of clothing that drive her almost instantly into a state of unbearable lust. Hugs. A million and one hugs that make her melt into a ball of content sunshine or help her find the strength to keep going when life gets rough and dirty. He’s more reserved when they’re in public, conscious of the person she has to be for the crowds, but she’s okay with that. It makes the way he touches her when it’s just the two of them feel real. Something that’s just for them, not a stunt to gain more attention.

There’s speculation in the press, but Katniss has already learned this dance and sidesteps the questions easily, always careful to remind Peeta in private afterwards that she’s obscuring what’s slowly growing and building between them because it doesn’t belong to anyone but them right now. When they’re ready to face the world, they’ll do it together.

Alimony moves to Heavensbee Motorsports, preserved and displayed in a place of honor next to Tuition, leading into the areas dedicated to Katniss’ team. She and Peeta both begin to learn ballet to help Raven practice, and they learn all about the different kinds of shoes. In the garage area Alimony vacated, Peeta builds a wooden floor with mirrors and a barre for Raven to practice. They argue a little when Raven gets axle grease all over her pink tights and an annoyed Katniss has to throw them out because she can’t get the stains off and wears a run into them trying. The next week, Raven has a set of her own coveralls hanging on a peg in the garage. For the days when she decides to make a quick switch from ballet to working on the car with her Dad.

Bit by bit, an engine and the dashboard panels are built. Peeta scours the internet, private dealers, and junkyards across the country -- each race opening an entirely new market to them -- for original parts. A set of gauges in Phoenix. A flywheel and distributor cap near Homestead, Florida. A steering wheel in Montana. The parts arrive in grease stained boxes or carried across the country in his luggage. 

Peeta’s already on the crew that builds her cars and the crew that travels to each race to prep them, then waits during the race for any serious damage that can’t be fixed in the pits and instead requires a trip back to the garages. They add him to the over-the-wall crew as well. The guys responsible not for routine things like tire changes and gas refills, but for quick under the hood fixes or changes to handling during pit stops. It comes with a huge pay raise since it’s more dangerous and requires a special kind of skill. It brings the comforting knowledge for Katniss that her car is always in his hands, from start to finish.

Twelve opens its doors, and the wallets of people Katniss schmoozes and sweet talks. While she’ll never enjoy the fundraising aspect of running a foundation, the smiles on the faces of the girls who benefit from it make it worthwhile. Rue starts racing on dirt but decides she likes the build aspect more, and enrolls in classes funded by Twelve to hone her skills. She sends pictures of her current projects, one stage at a time, to Katniss and they’re added to the kitchen wall that Peeta covered in a thin sheet of metal and painted with black chalkboard paint -- a gigantic fridge since theirs is now too small to contain the mementos of their life. Raven decorates the blank spaces with brightly colored chalk drawings of flowers, flames and swirls reminiscent of classic auto designs.

There are disagreements when some asshole fan cops a feel while taking a picture with Katniss and Peeta sees it, but doesn’t hear her snide reminder to the guy that even kindergarten kids know to keep their hands to themselves. The event itself is not what triggers the disagreement, but his annoyance that she didn’t defend herself, exacerbated by Katniss rolling her eyes and telling Peeta to let it go, it happens all the time. That makes him angry and then they’re both mad. Her over the idea that he could think so low of her, think that she’s okay with it or enjoys it or invites it. That fight ends the second they match their pace and Katniss realizes he’s not mad  _ at _ her, but  _ for  _ her.

“What are you going to do about it, punch every guy that grabs my ass before a race?”

“I might,” he says.

“I would too, but you know why I can’t,” she says. He grumbles angrily over it and she kisses the frown off his face as she reminds him that when she can’t kick them in the nuts, she’s still pretty fast with the verbal put-downs.

There’s a moment of embarrassment when Johanna sits next to Katniss during a driver’s meeting one race and whispers gleefully, “I saw that drive by ass-grab, by the way. Tsk tsk, slut. Groping your crew members is so tacky.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“And I suppose you don’t know about the quick getaway I saw you two make for some pre-race festivities. Not very subtle. Can’t blame you though. It’s hard to resist such a nicely shaped rear end.”

“Such narrow tastes. I tend to go for the whole body, bitch,” Katniss mutters without thinking it through and Johanna laughs loudly in response. The speculation around them picks up a bit after that, but dies when an unlikely ally inadvertently provides a distraction. 

“ _ Corbin Gloss Arrested! Caught with Prostitute _ makes for a much catchier headline then  _ Everdeen’s Dating Her Baby Daddy _ ,” Peeta teases Katniss one morning when they’re naked and lounging in bed, having sent Raven off to school and Laverne off for a day with a friend from the knitting group she just joined.

They reinforce the importance of using tarps when they decide to redo the living room and the tarps get covered in splatters of paint that transfer to their socks. They wind up with something abstract rather than the stripes they’d been planning on painting on the walls because Raven got a little creative with the rollers.

“Now it looks like clouds at sunset,” Raven says and Katniss tells Peeta not to touch it. It’s perfect.

That’s also around the time that Katniss tells Peeta it’s past time he asked her to marry him. She blurts it out while they’re at infield care after a driver lost control on pit row and clipped Peeta in the knee. She blames the stress of watching the whole thing through her windshield, helpless to do a thing about it, for the words spilling out like that. She blames her nasty tone on the fact that she had to jump hoops to get in to see him before they cleared him as fine. Nothing broken, only bruised.

She spends the next few days jumping at small sounds, irritable and regretting her hasty words, because she’d been sure he’d ask her that very night when they were in bed, and he didn’t.

Instead, he asks her a week later, when they’re laying on a blanket spread beneath a tree, Raven dancing and singing a few feet away, all of them warm and content from a picnic. Katniss is half asleep in his arms when he whispers that he has something to add to the list of what comes next. Then he sets something small and cool on top of her left hand that’s resting on his chest and she stares at the iridescent pearl on a silver band for a good minute before responding.

“Took you long enough,” she mutters as she snatches it up and clambers on top of him to pin him to the ground so she can give him a piece of her mind. He laughs at her disgruntled scowl. Instead of lecturing him, she kisses him to shut him up as he slips the ring on her finger.

“Did she say ‘yes,’ Daddy?” Raven asks, excited and nervous, when she spots her parents kissing and Katniss laughs as she opens her arms to add their daughter to the embrace. “I helped pick out the ring. Do you like it?”

“I love it, baby girl.”

It’s a small, quiet wedding with only a handful of attendants. Her team doesn’t even realize they’ve gotten married until they’re at practice one scorching day. The chain with Peeta’s wedding ring on it slips from beneath his shirt as he bends over the car to reach something and Darius sees it.

“What the hell is that, Mellark?”

“Looks like someone owes us all champagne,” Holmes comments.

They’re teased mercilessly for weeks about their “scandalous elopement,” but it’s all happy for them and good natured fun. The press is slightly less forgiving, but when it turns out their wedding was quiet with no drama, when they continue at the tracks as though nothing has changed, when they keep the details of their lives private and do everything they can to not draw attention, the fervor dies down. Johanna actually snorts when they’re standing shoulder to shoulder for interviews and the reporter calls Katniss “a boring, prudish mommy.”

When Peeta can’t find original parts, he finds suitable substitutes, replica pieces, or he machines a new version of something old. When he hits a point where it’s becoming too expensive, the engine gets put on pause for floorboards and windows instead. 

There’s a night spent on the couch, Peeta holding Katniss as she cries and rages that she doesn’t want to cry over this. It’s stupid. One bad season. One season without a single win and barely any top ten finishes and already every racing analyst has pegged her as done. As not belonging. Given a chance too soon, before she was ready for it. Not worthy. Easily distracted by her marriage during the previous season. It takes Peeta handing her a list the next day of every current racer who had a season similar to hers -- no wins and no single digit finishing places. There’s eleven of them and none of them are being lambasted in the sports pages, but then again, she’s the only woman in that group.

“You know why they’re saying that shit. Don’t listen to them. We both know they’re dead wrong. Plutarch knows it, Mitchell knows it, the whole team does. Why do you think every single one of them has already signed on to return next year with you?”

Components begin to move from the workbenches and sawhorses into the engine bay. 

Prim graduates with a degree in veterinary science. Finds a job with an established vet while she gets her M.D. She takes a trip to New York to marry her college girlfriend and moves out of the house. She tries to talk Katniss into adopting two dogs of unspecified mixed breed that wind up in her office one day. Raven falls in love with them and names them Sparks and Muffs, and Peeta says they have to adopt them now that they have names. Sparks and Muffs turn the first seats Peeta tries to build for the Mustang into their own personal dog beds and he winds up having to build two more, gently reminding them “No. You already have one,” whenever they try to claim the supple, brand new leather as a napping place.

The drive train is connected and then the suspension and brakes are finished. He spends weeks searching for the right tires. 

Katniss comes off one bad season right into one of her best in a car named Nest Egg. That’s the year Peeta’s older brother, Levi, brings his family to North Carolina for a visit and then to a race. Raven enjoys playing with her cousins and invites them for another visit. While it’s not a perfect relationship between the two brothers, Katniss reminds Peeta that it’s better than nothing. And Levi did help him all those years Peeta was away from home, although it was grudgingly done and often came with lectures and complaints.

Late one night, she finds Peeta in the garage, feet sticking out from beneath the Mustang as he finishes the fuel lines. She urges him to come to bed, and he says he only needs ten more minutes. They talk while he works. 

When he tells her he’s done, she grabs him by the belt and pulls him out towards her. The wheels of the creeper loud on the concrete and his eyes wide as she sits backwards on top of his chest, tearing his pants open. His fingers dig into her ass and her thighs as she sucks on his cock and strokes his balls. It’s an adventure, testing the sturdiness of the creeper and how much of the hard garage floor her knees can handle as she gets him hard. Harder and then desperate. Eventually, he has to brace one hand and one foot on tool chests and nearby walls so they don’t roll across the floor or into one of the jacks holding an almost four thousand pound car off the ground. Then he begs her to stop, so he can come inside her. She winds up bent over his workbench, gripping the edges as his hips smack into her ass, their jeans and underwear shoved down to the floor, his hands cupping her breasts then gripping her hips as he drives her right to the edge then pushes her over with a strained wail of his name that reverberates off the walls. He answers with a low moan of his own and fills her with his cum.

She’s offered a chance at a Victor’s Cup team, but only because the driver’s out for the season. She turns it down for now, reminding Plutarch of how many winning seasons she’s given him. “You want me in Cup, give me my own team,” she tells him and he grins through the cigar smoke, tells her he expected nothing less from her, especially when she shares her main reason for turning it down. Her plans to take a year off from racing to deal with what’s turned into a very involved foundation. And to have another baby. 

Peeta jokes that they clearly need to be more wary of car related sex. She laughs, since they were actually trying to get pregnant this time, so it’s not exactly a surprise. When she reminds him that they can’t be sure which time it was that did the trick, he shakes his head and tells her that means he gets to decide, and it was definitely in the garage.

It’s a rough year, with Peeta gone on weekends, still part of the crew for Katniss’ car, but with another driver behind the wheel, looking for her big break. They manage the strains and time apart as best they can. He stops working on the Mustang to devote his free time when he’s home to her and Raven, to turning Prim’s old bedroom into a nursery. Carefully preparing meals that don’t nauseate Katniss, massaging her feet and ankles when they start to swell, holding her hand during ultrasounds, and check ups. Taking Raven to ballet together. Katniss hates that he gives up working on the car even for a short while. She misses racing, but savors every smile and laugh, every shared moment, reminding herself that it’s only a year. 

Nine months later, Peeta holds her through labor and then kisses her and their child after. Later that day, Katniss wakes from a nap in the hospital, keeping her eyes half closed to watch her family for a moment. Undisturbed before she alerts them that she’s awake. Aunt Laverne knits what might be a scarf, or maybe a sweater for someone extra tall. Raven quietly reads from a chapter book to a rapt Peeta. Their second daughter, Amelia, looks so small cradled in his strong arms, Katniss thinks with a secret smile. Small, but so loved and protected.

Johanna wins the Tribute League championship that year. The young woman who filled in for Katniss takes a spot driving on a rally racing team after her year in the 36 is up. She sends updates and pictures that decorate the kitchen wall, too. Next to pictures of Raven and Amelia, drawings done by Raven’s hands, Peeta’s hands. Sketches of paint schemes for Katniss’ race cars that get rejected but she refuses to get rid of because Peeta drew them and they hold their own kind of artistic merit in her eyes. Pictures from Prim and her wife. Pictures spanning race seasons as well as the seasons of nature. From the girls who’ve found help turning dreams to reality through Twelve.

There are long nights and longer days, dealing with the lack of sleep and all the work in caring for a newborn alongside a child in school, a house and what amounts to a business, with two working parents and robust schedules that includes both of them traveling for races once Katniss is driving again. Peeta dives in feet first, as involved in raising Amelia as he has been with Raven from the moment he learned he was a father. Even still, on the worst days, Katniss half expects the exhaustion and strain of responsibility or the reduction in how often they have sex to finally frighten him away. There are usually circles under his eyes, and sometimes they lose their tempers too fast, but despite her fears, he’s always there with an apology and a question on how they can tweak it, fix it, make it better, work around it. 

And his arms and lips are there for her in the night, whether they’re physically intimate or not. She relishes the intimacy found in just holding one another after a long day and knowing he’ll still be there at the dawn.

Raven takes her duties as Big Sister seriously, learning the proper way to hold her and lending a helping hand whenever she can. She spends hours talking to her sister and explaining things. She gets a little upset when she catches Peeta giving Amelia’s cheek a double kiss, “That’s my special kiss from Mommy! ‘Melia doesn’t even have a dimple!”

“I didn’t even think about it before I did it. If I’d known how much it was going to upset her...” Peeta admits to Katniss, his face creased in grief when Raven won’t even talk to him.

After Peeta hurries after Raven to apologize to her through the door, to ask her what he can do to fix it, the truth bursts through the closed panels in broken tones and Katniss can see the heartache on Peeta’s face. 

“You aren’t in any of the pictures with me as a baby!”

They’ve talked about this and tried to prepare. Katniss worried about it more than he did. Peeta kept assuring her that it would be okay. They could explain it to Raven in a way that she could understand. The explanation needing to start simple then grow and mature with Raven so that she could learn from her parents’ mistakes and choices. It takes both of them speaking through the door and the relief is sweet when Raven opens it and falls into Peeta’s arms.

“Why don’t you help me decide on a special kiss for Amelia that’s different from yours?” he offers quietly.

Raven agrees reluctantly, but a few days later when Katniss gives Raven her double kiss on the left cheek, Peeta follows with a single kiss on her right before turning to kiss Amelia, once over each eyebrow.

“Now you kiss ‘Melia, Mommy! Right here.” Raven points to the end of her nose and Katniss gives Peeta a questioning look but does as their daughter suggests. “There! Now ‘Melia has a special kiss all her own!”

Then one morning, Katniss realizes she knows Peeta won’t leave her and holding on to her half fears is pointless. It’s when he kisses her awake, just long enough to murmur that he already checked on Amelia; she’s fine and still asleep. The first full night of sleep since her birth, and they should get some more rest too. At least until one of the girls wakes up. Katniss drifts happily back into dreams, wrapped in his arms and knowing that they can survive any change or upheaval together.

Raven dances through life with a dimpled smile on her face and pink tights on her legs. Pictures from her dance recitals and classes and the first time she changes a tire all by herself fill the kitchen wall and make it into frames on garage walls. She makes friends with kids at the tracks and kids at school, and Katniss starts calling her “dancing girl” instead of “baby girl.”

Amelia starts to crawl. Her dark hair from birth disappears, replaced with sunny blonde curls. Then it’s first steps and first words. A set of toy tools and a car powered by her chubby toddler legs. Her blue eyes lighten to a smoky gray. Peeta searches for weeks before finding the right shade of gray paint for the Mustang. A shade that’s a dead ringer for Katniss’ and Amelia’s eyes.

When Katniss points out that particular car never came from the factory in that exact color and he’s worked so hard to keep her restoration as close to original as possible, Peeta shrugs and tells her it’s his car. He’ll paint it how he wants. She laughs and tells him fine...as long as she gets blue racing stripes that match his and Raven’s eyes.

They move her up to Victor’s Cup and Mitchell starts to talk about retiring. He takes more days off, always appointing Peeta as stand-in crew chief whenever he misses a race. 

Eventually, the Mustang is close to being done. Down to a few small tasks under the hood, but mostly finishing touches like knobs for the windows, the gear shifter, door handles, headlights. Peeta stops working and starts inspecting, again and again, fretting over the repaired frame and wondering if it will be able to withstand the torque imposed on it by the powerful engine. He talks himself into then out of taking her apart and starting all over at least twice a week and it starts to drive Katniss berzerk until he finally decides it will probably be okay as it is. He’ll just keep an eye on it once he starts driving her.

At one of the Talladega races, when Peeta fills in for Mitchell, Katniss is busy talking to fans when she swears she spots Peeta in the crowd — wearing a T-shirt, shorts, and aviator style sunglasses — but she knows it can’t be him. He’s with her car right now. It’s only when they’re face to face that she realizes this must be Peeta’s middle brother, Ryen.

“Well shit. Pipsqueak did pretty good for himself. What the hell’s a hot thing like you doing with my ratty ass brother?” Ryen says, blatantly checking her out, and she scowls at him. “I’m Ryen Mellark.”

“Aren’t you married?”

“Divorced,” he tells her with a dimpled grin that makes Katniss wonder how she can find the same expression on Peeta’s face adorable and sexy but on his brother it makes her skin crawl.

“Thrice,” the woman standing next to him adds, making Ryen flush red and cringe. She’s thin and bony and blonde, tired in a way that Katniss recognizes. Drained by life and a constant, bitter struggle. Peeta’s mother, she realizes.

A few pointed questions and Katniss discovers that Peeta’s not even aware of their presence at the track. As loathe as she is to force reunions on him, they’ve vaguely talked about trying to bridge the last few breaches in family. His mother’s never even met Raven and Amelia, and since she made the effort to be here, Katniss figures five minutes won’t hurt too much.

He’s got Amelia on his lap and Raven sitting next to him, elevated over the track and going over all the data feeds from the car to make sure communication lines are good. Aunt Laverne stands talking to Holmes nearby. Katniss tries to give Peeta a warning so he’s not caught completely off guard, but Ryen shouts at him and ruins that.

Otherwise, the meetings go fairly smoothly with Aunt Laverne as a formidable buffer. Peeta doesn’t have much time to spend with his mother and brother since he’s busy all day. What time he does get with them is repeatedly interrupted with crew members stopping by or speaking up on the radios with questions or last minute checks. Even a reporter stops by for a second or two of his time.

Katniss catches flashes first of surprise and then something vaguely like pride in Mrs. Mellark’s eyes when she sees how her youngest son has turned out. Successful, happy, beloved. A loving husband and doting father. Someone other people rely on. The steady presence and the one always searching for a way to make things work better.

It becomes another pair of imperfect relationships, never close but at least present in the following years.

The list of parts and tasks on the chalkboard in the garage shrinks. When there’s enough space, they start listing name possibilities for the Mustang instead. The list Peeta gave Katniss that night on the porch undergoes a similar transformation. Items added as others are crossed off, some that will remain for always because they’re not the sort of thing you just stop doing when you love someone. Even relationships need routine maintenance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sure you noticed that this chapter is a completely different format and style from the previous ones. It reads like an epilogue, and I guess in a way it kind of is. But also if you know anything about my writing then you already know the reason there's one more chapter. A specific item on Peeta's list of what he wants next that needs to be taken care of before I can call this story done. Just this once, I won't obsess about symmetry lol. ;) Until next week! <3 KDNFB


	8. CHECKERED FLAG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more shot at that E rating, yes?

“And then this is what Delly sent home with Raven to work on while we’re gone.”

“What’s this science project thing about?”

“Apparently, Delly learned about science from Donald while watching him working on cars. Physics and things. So Raven is supposed to do some experiments at the tracks and report her findings to the class.”

“Okay,” Aunt Laverne says. “I think I’ll leave that one to you and Peeta. I can keep her on task with the math and reading at least.”

“That’ll work,” Katniss says as she tucks the books and folders into Raven’s bookbag and setting it next to the stack of luggage waiting to go. Delly Cartwright, Peeta’s childhood friend and Donald’s daughter wandered into their lives at a Meet the Teacher night. She’d just moved to the area and had been meaning to call Peeta to catch up after her father told her he lived in the area as well with his wife and kids. Instead, Time got away from her but it turned out in the end. Delly wound up with Raven in her class. 

“Amelia’s packed, Raven’s packed, the dogs are packed, I’m packed…”

“I’m packed except toiletries,” Laverne says.

“So that just leaves Peeta’s bag...where is he anyways?”

“Oh honey, he escaped to the garage half an hour ago.”

“I thought he was done with Elena. We’re supposed to take her for a short first drive before we leave tomorrow morning.”

“He mumbled some half-assed excuse about needing to double check the windshield wipers and fluids.”

“You’re joking.”

“Nope. Something’s got him wound up.”

With a sigh, Katniss rubs her temple. “He’s nervous about the race.”

“Why? You’re the one gonna be driving at two hundred miles an hour. And you’ve still got an entire week leading up to it.”

“Which sets the stage for how we do in the race.”

“Oh for the love of—“

“I’ll go talk to him.”

“You better. And take your keys...just in case you two wind up staying out there late and I decide not to wait up.”

“Aunt Laverne,” Katniss warns as she tugs on her galoshes.

“He might need help relaxin’! I’m just sayin’...” Laverne chuckles with her hands in the air.

Katniss puts on a sweater and grabs her keys, along with a fleece blanket to hold over her head as she dashes through the cold February rain.

Once inside the garage, she smiles at her husband nervously tapping a spark plug on his work bench as he scrolls through something on his laptop. Elena sits sparkling and new, her hood down and latched in place, ready for her first run tomorrow. Shaking the rain from the blanket, Katniss wraps it around her shoulders and slips out of her galoshes, hissing softly at the cold seeping through her socks from the concrete floor.

Peeta has a few space heaters set up to provide warmth in the garage, but she still shivers and scolds herself for running this errand in just her flannel shirt dress and knee high socks. The house was warm, but out here the warmth is reserved for only a few small pockets near the heaters.

“Hey you,” she murmurs as she slides her hands over his shoulders and down his chest. She kisses his ear and he moves one hand to cover hers. “Are you avoiding me?”

“No,” he says and tilts his head to look at her. “Maybe a little.”

“You’re worrying.”

“Of course I’m worrying. Aren’t you worried?”

“Not in the slightest,” she says and kisses his neck. “I have confidence that my team is in great hands.”

“I’m not exactly experienced.”

“You are more than experienced. How many years do you have working on garage crews and pit crews? And before that on dirt tracks? Baja racers?”

“That’s different. This is the Daytona 500. Your second season in Cup racing, with a brand new, rookie crew chief and I just...Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the job. Katniss I don’t want to mess this up for you.”

“You won’t,” she reassures him. “Off season prep went so well. Besides, it’s not like you’ve never done this before. You’ve filled in for Mitchell dozens of times, and he wouldn’t have picked you to replace him if he didn’t think you could do it. If he didn’t think you were ready. And you know Plutarch sure as shit wouldn’t have gone with the recommendation if he didn’t agree.”

He laughs at this and actually tilts his head a little so she can kiss more of him. “Did you come out here to distract me?”

“I came out here to tell you to come inside and finish packing so we can go to bed. But now I see you’re too wound up for that.”

“What gave it away?”

“The 1967 Corvette in need of restoration on your laptop screen.”

“I can’t fool you, can I?”

“It’s futile to even try,” she says as she nibbles on his ear, her hands sliding back over his shoulders then down his broad back to his waist. He hisses when she slips her hands beneath his shirt to warm them on his back. Around to his abs so she can feel the flex of them when she scratches her nails over his skin. “Did you buy it?”

“Not yet. I was thinking about it, though. So now what, boss?” The words send her heart fluttering, faster than the valves on her cars. She’s loved having his voice in her ear again when she drives, and that’s just for preparations and practice. Starting this week, it’ll be for real.

“Now I distract you from your worries and from sinking yourself into another years long restoration project before you’ve even driven the current one,” she whispers and he shivers in her arms as her hands unbuckle his belt. Pop open the button on his jeans.

“How do you—“ he stops to swallow heavily when she draws the zipper down. “How do you plan on doing that?”

Instead of answering, she slides one hand inside his jeans and grabs hold of his cock, stroking him as her lips trail kisses all over his neck and ears and jaw. Her other hand caressing beneath his shirt. He drops the spark plug and his palms flatten on the workbench. His breathing grows ragged as he grows in her hand.

“Oh fuck that feels good,” he groans and his hips buck.

“Know what would feel even better?” she asks and smiles at the hissing noise he makes on a hard stroke of her hand.

“What?” he gasps.

“Crossing another item off your list.” She can tell he’s scrambling through a haze of lust to remember which one she’s referring to and takes pity on him. “Elena’s hood is finished…”

He freezes for just a second as her words sink in. Then he grasps her wrist and pulls her hand free of his pants as he stands and she laughs at his eagerness, the sound cut off as he brings her to him and drinks her laughter with his kisses. She holds on as the world tilts and slows. The blanket slips off her shoulders, forgotten as his hands run down her sides to her thighs, warming the chilled skin as he caresses then toys with the hem of her dress. Lifts it so he can hold and massage her cheeks. Cool air bites and his heated touch soothes. She moans in his mouth and he deepens the kiss, cups her ass in his palms and lifts her just enough to carry her closer to the car.

She expects him to set her ass on the hood, surprised when he sets her on her feet. Dizzy when he spins her to face the car and spreads her hands on the cool metal of the hood.

“Peeta?” she asks as his hands splay on her belly and shift up to play with her breasts. “Aren’t we going to…?”

“Not so fast,” he growls in her ear. Then she’s the one squirming and tilting her head while his lips kiss up and down her neck. 

“I’ll leave hand prints.”

“I’ll buff them off later. Maybe. But what fun is having a car like this if you don’t indulge in a few fantasies?”

She can’t answer because his roaming hands have burned a track down to her hips, pulling her back into him. She bites her lip at the feel of him hard and ready, but still his hands move slow. So slow over her body she has to force herself not to curl her fingers and scratch marks into the paint.

Once more, he lifts her hem as his mouth on her neck drives her wild. Then one hand slips inside her panties and he moans into her skin.

“Katniss, I told you that first night...I’ll never be able to stop touching you.”

“So don’t,” she repeats what she said that same night and then gasps, her hips thrusting to take his fingers as he curses softly.

“So warm. God I love your heat,” he whispers and sucks on her pulse point while his fingers weave magic and their own kind of heat. “We aren’t...fuck you’re dripping...we aren’t gonna be interrupted are we?”

She shakes her head and begs him to keep going, although she glances out the open garage door to check, satisfied that the heavy rain will keep away any intruders. She tries to let him do all the work, but it isn’t long before she’s biting her lip and thrusting her hips, madly trying to reach release on his hand.

“Fuck yes, I love it when you pull my hair like that, Katniss.” She doesn’t remember moving her hand, but his words have her tugging on the soft strands caught between her fingers. She doesn’t remember him unbuttoning her dress, but his hand covers her bare breast then his fingers roll and pinch and pull on her nipple until she warbles out a few notes as her walls clench his fingers. “Yes. Yes, come on my hand. Keep coming. Don’t stop. Give me everything.”

She’s on her toes and vibrating with each wave, held aloft and secure in his embrace. When it finally fades, she’s drained and would collapse to the floor in a satisfied puddle if it weren’t for the steel band that is his Peeta’s arm wrapped around her torso. 

“Well I’m not cold anymore,” she gasps and Peeta chuckles. She’s in a daze until he spins her, kisses her once, then plants her ass on top of the car. She leaps right back off with a yelp. “Cold!”

“Give me a minute and I’ll fix that,” he teases with a kiss and she shakes her head. “Alright…”

His eyes search and find the fleece blanket nearby. Snatching it up, he lays it on the hood and then lifts her and sets her on top. “Better?”

“Not until you fuck me,” she says and he groans, but his hands tear at her panties until they’re off and flung across the garage. Her hands push his clothes down his hips, intending to push further, but the second his erection swings free, he steps between her legs and lines himself up.

“Need you now,” he says desperately and kisses her as he plunges in, swallows her squeak of surprise as she finds herself full. She wraps her legs around him, grips his shoulder with one hand and his ass with the other as he gives her no time to adjust but starts thrusting right away. Slow enough to feel good. So impossibly good that she’s soon using her legs to leverage herself and thrust with him. They share sloppy kisses and heated looks, whispered words.

Then his lips trail down her neck, leaning her back and forcing her to let go of his ass to brace one hand on the car. Their movements accelerate and he starts moaning loudly to her chest. The rain outside masks the noises and sights and she closes her eyes, swept up in past and present and the feel of him moving inside her. The sounds of them together with the rain and the notes pouring from between his lips. All of it combining to lift her up. Up so high she thinks she might be able to touch the stars for real.

“Fuck. Fuck. Katniss! Fuck, I’m gonna come. Gonna come too soon,” he gasps desperately. “Need to -- fuck you’re -- so hot -- need to stop.”

She grips his neck with both hands and bends her back, keeps moving instead so he can’t stop. His rhythm breaks as their eyes meet and he slams into her. Again with a shout. A third time with a tremulous moan, his fingers clenched hard on her hips and his breaths hot over her lips.

“Fuck,” he whispers as he falls still, cock throbbing inside her, filling her with his release. She shifts beneath him, caught on a precipice and ready to tumble.

“Peeta,” she whines and lifts her hips into his. He curses but moves, taking advantage of the handful of minutes they still have before he goes soft. Rotates his hips, grinding for a second before laying on top of her and thrusting, shallow and fast until she joins him with an ecstatic cry and her nails clawing down his back.

She clings to him and his palm squeals across the hood as they kiss and catch their breaths. When he lifts his head and ends the kiss, it’s only to rest his forehead on hers and whisper.

“I’m going to claim lifelong fantasy being way hotter than I expected as an excuse for that going so fast.” She laughs and kisses his cheek.

“You buy the Corvette, we’ll have to christen her like this too.”

“Careful. I’m liable to wind up with an armada of classic muscle cars if you tell me that.” She laughs again and waits for his smile to widen enough to see his dimple before she kisses him.

By the time they clean up their mess to head back to the house for the night, it’s no longer raining and Peeta lingers by the car.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just...wondering if she’s going to run alright tomorrow.”

Katniss finds his keys and dangles them in the air. “We could find out.”

“We could wake the entire house.”

She shakes the keys in his face, and with a boyish smile, he snatches them up. Opens the driver door. He sits with one leg still out the door, and then grunts when Katniss drops onto his lap, but his hand automatically rests on her hip.

“Okay, let’s hear what she’s got.” 

He leans around her and slides the key into the ignition, turns one click and pauses, two and then Elena roars to life. Peeta shouts and Katniss laughs. The engine settles into a sexy, throaty growl and they listen to it for a moment. Peeta revs her twice and then relaxes beneath Katniss. She twists her torso and plants her lips on his. He eventually cuts off the engine, leaving the keys in the ignition to hold her. 

They’re kissing madly when the scuffle of shoes on concrete reaches them, but before they can tear themselves apart, Aunt Laverne taps the back end of the car, making them both jump.

“Fire her back up, if you can stop making out for a minute.”

“Sorry,” Peeta says with bright pink cheeks. Laverne stops next to the front end and smirks. 

“No you’re not. I could hear the car in the house. And since you’ve disturbed my sleep, the least you can do is fire her up again and lemme hear it up close.”

“We didn’t wake the girls, did we?” Katniss asks and Laverne shakes her head.

“Nope. They’re both out cold.”

They hesitate but Aunt Laverne motions towards the hood again.

“You do it this time,” Peeta murmurs with a kiss to Katniss’ shoulder.

“Really?” she asks, and then moves to do so as soon as he nods.

She cranks and Elena roars again. Aunt Laverne claps and shouts something about Elena being a very sexy lady. Then she moves around to the driver side and smiles, talks over the rumble.

“Now get, while the night is still young.”

“Huh?”

“Go. For. A. Drive,” she punctuates each word with a wave of her hands out the garage door. There’s two strokes of silence and then a flurry of motion.

Katniss scrambles into the passenger seat. Aunt Laverne tosses the fleece blanket in after them, and shuts the driver side door. Peeta’s grinning as he backs Elena out of the garage and they take off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my thanks and million hugs to buttercupbadass and savvylark, my beautiful and amazing beta readers who drove this story forward with so many conversations and ideas. Savvy also drew artwork for this story that is part of this collection. I cried tears of joy at their beauty, so go check them out on tumblr. 
> 
> I also have to thank Mr. KDNFB on this one, although he’ll probably never see this, lol. He was just ridiculously excited that he finally got to help with one of my stories so I can’t not mention him now. You all have no idea how many lessons I sat through on transmissions, carburetors vs fuel injections, or how yes they actually do set up the alignment on a race car to work on a track that is banked (tilted) and the result of that is they don't drive straight on straight, flat ground without driver input…oh the things I learned for this fic. Anyways. Without his help, this Katniss and Peeta would not have sounded even halfway intelligent about racing and cars in general, the world would not have been filled with detail but instead vague generalities. And if you do see this, no darling. You’re still not allowed to retrofit a turbo on my CR-V. Sorry. It’s a mommy car held together with crumbs, Gatorade spills, sand from the beach, and dirt from the baseball fields, not a dragster.... (I can hear him saying “Not with that attitude it’s not.”)
> 
> And finally, thanks to everyone who’s left comments and kudos, shown this story some love, as well as the ms2sl charity drive. End of the road for this one, folks!
> 
> <3 KDNFB


End file.
